Teen Slang That I Hate

My teenage daughter just hates it when I say, “Because I said so,” or “Because I am the parent.”

She does not understand that once they hit a certain age that is the only answer left. If I tell her the real reasons she will just try to poke holes in them or flummox me (she is a lot more logical than I am). However, from an adult’s point of view, my reasons are sound. “You are not old enough to go to the movie alone with a boy” or “You can’t go to a party at someone’s house if their parents aren’t home” or “Being tired because you stayed up too late watching YouTube is not a reason to stay home from school,” are all good reasons and I shouldn’t have to explain more than that. But since – in her mind – I do need to explain more, I give up and pull out, “Because I am the Mom and I said so”.

Annoying phrases don’t come just from parents; teenagers have them too, and a lot more!<

Here are my least favorite teenage phrases ….


“I am aware”

This phrase replaced I know and is used when I remind my daughter that she needs to do her homework, practice her bass, or go to bed on time. To be fair, she usually is aware of these things but she isn’t acting like it so Helicopter Mom kicks into action and then she becomes snarkely aware. (According to spell check snarkely is not a word, but I bet any mom of a teenage girl would agree that it should be.)

“In a minute”

Now I know that we all use this phrase, but my teenager’s minute can mean an hour, literally: they will say, “In a minute,” when I tell them to pick up their rooms and make their beds and when I reminded them an hour later, the reply is, “I am aware.”

“Later”

See “In a minute” times 10. Later can be two hours. Or two days. Or two lifetimes.

“Yes”

When the answer should have been “no”. “Did you pick up your room and make your bed?” “Yes.” “Then why are the sheets and the pillowcase on the floor?” Blank stare.

“Fine” that sounds more like “Fiiiine”

“Go make your bed, NOW!” “Fiiiine.”

“Ohhhh myGOD”

“Your bed is still not made, give me your phone.” “Ohhhh myGOD, you are so UNFAIR”

“You are so UNFAIR”

Translation, “You are such a b**ch.”

“It is so UNFAIR”

Used to compare their lives with those of their siblings or their friends. “Sally has a new iPhone. It’s so UNFAIR.” “Yup, my best friend from college has a new Ferrari, no kids, and a flourishing career while I have a minivan to drive you, your friends, and your upright bass around – it’s so UNFAIR!”

“Don’t treat me like I’m 6”

Interesting that they say this when they are acting like they are 6.

“Age is just a number”

A new least favorite of mine. It is used to try and do things that are meant for older kids or to hang out with older kids. “Well dear, if ages is just a number than I’m going to start wearing miniskirts and tube tops again; how do you like that?”

“Butthurt”

This is the new, cool way to say that someone overreacted to something, as in, “My sister got so butthurt when I told her to go away.” Ok, I don’t really hate this one (I have even been known to use it), but I really feel like I should hate it.

“I’m Bored”

An oldie, but goodie. What kills me is that I let myself get sucked into this one, naming off about 20 things that they could do to fend off boredom; and with all of the technology that they have today it is at least 4 times longer than my list ever was growing up. And still, none of the choices I come up with ever suffice. Go wonder.

“Boring”

“How was school today?” “Boring” – every single day; and yet, I still ask – every single day.

“Why?”

“Because I am the Mom and I said so!” Which brings us full circle.

So, the next time your teenager gets upset with you for saying, “Because I said so,” just look at her with a straight face and calmly reply, “Geeze, you don’t have to get so butthurt!”



Karen Rosenberg is starting her 7th new career by writing. She started her adult life as an actor, moved on to co-running a theatre, tried her hand at designing websites, taught at Gymboree, and is currently a full time mommy and school volunteer. Using the same creative skills as in her previous “jobs” she has decided to write. Karen lives in the Chicago Suburbs with her two daughters and her husband who have been very supportive of all of her “careers”. You can follow Karen on “Twitter”, and Tumblr -but there is nothing to follow as her teenager has yet to explain how to use it in terms that she can understand.