Sensitivity 101: Five Ways to Help Your Child Understand Differences

When my only child was two, he was diagnosed with a form of autism. He had behavioral outbursts that often drew stares and discomfort from other children. This got me thinking, how can we–as parents–teach our children that differences among us are okay? To answer this question, I have come up with five ways to help a typically developing child learn more about persons with disabilities.

Select childcare with an eye toward inclusion.

Your child will benefit greatly by attending pre-school or after-school care with children of all abilities. Eliminate the fear that different is bad. Much of what we fear comes from what we don’t understand. Exposing your young child to children of varying abilities will help them gain empathy and a broader view of the world.

One of the joys of my career was working with a professional ballerina on a grant to fund movement classes in an inclusive daycare center. Most children at age four aren’t all that coordinated, so all benefit from improved movement and balance.

Watch your language.

Obviously, avoid the “R” word and other words that demean. Is someone who is overly tall, short, or overweight, the punch line of a family joke? Do you label others? Don’t say “the special needs child” or the “cerebral palsy girl,” as I heard someone say just yesterday. Do say, “A child with special needs” or a “girl who has cerebral palsy.” Don’t use the word “normal.” Do use “typically developing.”

Take the teaching moments when they occur.

Real life offers plenty of teachable moments for young children. Take your child with you to visit an elderly friend or relative in a nursing home. What a great opportunity to talk about etiquette, hearing and sight issues, and adaptive equipment. Residents will probably love explaining to a small child how their wheelchair works. Familiarity helps dispel fear.

Not every disability is visible.

This is a tough one for young children. For example, a child with autism who does not speak may scream or grunt when they want something. This may startle your child. First, help them understand that not every disability is visible. Follow up by saying something simple like, “Sally isn’t really upset, she just needs help from her mother.”

Follow the ‘Golden Rule,’ but ask first.

People with disabilities deserve just as much privacy as the next person. They may not need or want your help. Remember to always ask first.

Kids watch us with hawk-like vision and elephant memories. How your answer their questions and instruct them about people with disabilities will shape their experiences for a lifetime.

I encourage you to share these ideas with other moms over coffee, and put them into practice. Thank you for hearing me out.

Thank you, Amy! You are truly an amazing mom, and we appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with Mamapedia readers.