Rhymes With

I used to tell my high school English students that by the end of their semester with me, they’ll have learned about STDs.

There’s this story I tell them, and I usually regret it. Now I’m going to tell you and ultimately regret it, I’m sure.

When I was a freshman in high school, I had to take Health. You know, the required class where you learn all about how to eat well and be healthy and not catch STDs?

One of the projects we had to do was to choose an STD out of a hat, and then research and report on it. My memory of the entire process is a little fuzzy, but I will never forget the moment when I walked up to the front of the classroom to pull my STD out of a hat, and chose the only word that rhymes with my name: Chlamydia.

Mortification cannot begin to describe. I knew that asking for a different disease would bring more attention to my embarrassment, so I just returned to my desk and hoped no one really caught on to the quite-obvious rhyme.

Unfortunately, they did. In my memory, I was taunted and picked on for the rest of my high school career, and told students that my entire freshman yearbook was riddled with references to Chlamydia Lydia. When Hubby, the kids and I went upstairs to pour through my yearbook, alas, we found only one.

Funny how I remember things so differently. This teeny tiny moment that probably no one else in my entire high school even remembers has become an integral part of my teaching career.

It became a tradition for my classes to make custom t-shirts that include funny inside stories that no one outside of class would really understand. One particular class was an AP English Language class that I taught all about STDs: Syntax, Tone, and Diction. See? You were worried I was going to be all inappropriate and stuff, weren’t you?

The rule in my classroom was what happened there, stayed there. It was a lot like Vegas. Except without the gambling. And weddings. And Celine Dion – although wouldn’t it have been cool if Celine helped me teach The Scarlet Letter? I mean, Hester’s heart totally went on, even without Dimmesdale.

Do you have a funny memory from high school you are still trying to live down?

Lydia Richmond is a work-at-home mom of two (with one on the way) who loves baking, crafting, singing, and writing. She teaches high school English online for the North Carolina Virtual Public School, and blogs on her site, Cluttered Genius.