Parenting & Social Media
I’ve been a stay at home mom for 17 years. In that time I’ve done my fair share of comparing myself to other mothers and have definitely had moments where feelings of inadequacy have overshadowed those of capability.
Making breakfast; changing diapers; refereeing arguments; the never ending piles of laundry; grocery shopping; playdates; school meetings and the years and years of taxi-driving — it often seemed that there wasn’t ever enough time in the day for anything extra. And then I’d meet another mom who’d clearly found it, and I’d want to go home, lock myself in my mildewed bathroom and cry into a towel that hadn’t been dry in over a week.
When my kids were little there was no such thing as social media.
Imagine it for a moment. Now, pick yourself up off the floor and continue.
In a time before Facebook and Pinterest, the only way we had of comparing ourselves, and our kids, was through our actual interactions (and gossip, of course).
When one mother brought rainbow swirled cupcakes shaped like unicorns to the class party, we either heard about it from our envious kids or through the bitching of the dozen other mothers who’d just sent a package of generic Oreos. When our neighbor threw a princess themed birthday party with scrolled invitations that were delivered in pink cardboard tubes and made tulle skirts and rhinestoned slippers for each guest, we could just drown our feelings of inadequacy in our Chardonnay instead of having to view the photo album and read all 63 comments of praise for her on Facebook.
Was parenting actually simpler then? Certainly not, but it sure as hell was easier on our egos when we weren’t subjected to hundreds of photos of over the top parties and homemade holiday crafts that we didn’t have the time (not to mention the interest or sanity) to undertake. I can’t imagine how defeating it must be for many new parents today who are bombarded by the seemingly endless images of parenting “perfection” via social media. Because guess what? For every photo of pancakes shaped like zoo animals and award winning dioramas, there are boxes of cereal in front of the T.V. and fights on the playground. Those things just don’t make the Facebook cut.
My kids are older now and I’m well past the years of insecurities over the excessive parties and elaborate craft projects and superfluous extracurricular activities. Now it’s all about honors classes, G.P.A.s and college choices. The comparing really never ends, you just get more numb to it as everyone gets older.
Or maybe that’s just the effects of all the wine you’ve been drinking to try to ignore it?
Listen, it’s natural to brag about your kid via social media. I know I’m guilty. I’m not judging (much), I’m just realizing how unbelievably hard it must be for mothers of younger kids today to not fall victim to measuring their own parenting skills against their 538 Facebook friends’ as well as all the impossibly perfect ideas and recipes found on Pinterest. Because I remember those toddler years well. It’s a struggle most days just to stay afloat.
So to those of you with little ones, here’s my advice. Keep doing the best you can. Put on blinders, focus on your kids and just keep paddling. And for goodness sake, don’t worry about bedazzling your raft, no matter how many other moms have posted photos of their own on Pinterest.
How do you ignore the social media and the images of parenting “perfection”?
Michelle Newman wears many hats – wife, mother, vet, maid, therapist and personal assistant to the other three members of her household. Her work has recently been included in the best selling humor anthology, ‘I Just Want To Pee Alone.’ Michelle writes about her family, the absurdity of celebrity life, and anything else she can find hidden humor in over at her blog You’re My Favorite Today as well as on Facebook and Twitter (although she sucks at Twitter).
