Out on a Limb
It was a beautiful evening in Minnesota – a perfect blue sky not marred by clouds. After dinner, we took a walk. The girls laughed and ran through the grass, and we soon came upon a monstrous tree to climb.
I found a cozy spot to sit, while Astrid found sticks that still had leaves attached and used them as ‘brooms’ to sweep the grass; clearing ‘dirt’ while her sisters pretended to make rooms for a home in the large tree.
Eloise and Esther climbed higher. I had to use my hand to shield my eyes from the bright evening light shining down on my children as they played happily in the tree. It was one of those perfect moments that don’t come often enough.
Astrid told me to get up and find a broom (stick) so I could be an ‘old lady sweeper grandma’ with her, but before I could, a young woman started yelling at me…
“Are you the one watching these children in the tree!?”
“Why, yes, they are mine…”
“Well you are a horrible mother! Don’t you know how dangerous it is to play in trees? I was an EMT, and we saw tree accidents every day. I want them out of there and I want the baby to drop the stick!”
I said nothing, because what do you say?
“Parents like you make me so angry. You better be gone by the time I come back or I’m calling the police!”
“For climbing a tree?” I asked calmly. I didn’t move or say more. I turned my glance back to my children, and just willed this woman to leave.
She jogged off, and I continued to sit and watch Eloise and Esther climb while Astrid swept the ground. I was sad – not because I was endangering my children, but because someone could say such awful things. Maybe she saw something really bad once that this was her immediate reaction, but to question my parenting? I mean, sure, my kids could be hurt climbing a tree, I know that risk, but kids can also be hurt or killed at places that should be safe – a movie theater, a school, a car, in their own home, in their own yard.
Was this young woman with me at the pool this summer when I was the ‘crazy safety lady,’ watching them ALL the time in the water? That’s my job as their mother, even though I know the only way to guarantee they won’t drown is to not let them swim.
Was she there when I fed Astrid chicken and cut each portion into bites small enough so she won’t choke, even though the only guarantee she won’t choke on food is to feed her liquid?
I just hope she doesn’t follow me when I drop them off at horse camp, because I know that the only way to eliminate the potential of a horse riding injury is to avoid riding.
I take my job as a mom pretty damn seriously and I know a major component of that job description is to keep my kids safe. I also remember being a kid and climbing the neighbor’s trees with my cousin to steal some apples, and how she fell and broke both her wrists. And yet, tree climbing still doesn’t scare me.
I cannot wrap my kids in bubble wrap and give them a long list of things that they cannot do because maybe they could get hurt. How would that list ever have an end?
So, I will let them climb trees on a perfect night. And as God as my witness, I will not to tell another mother how horrible she is for doing so. Ever.
Almost everything in life has some element of danger. When it comes to your child’s happiness and safety, where do you draw the line?
Tracy Morrison is the mom of three girl humans and two boy cats. She writes about the lighter side of parenting at Sellabit Mum.
