Orlando: When Terror Strikes in My Own Backyard

Pulse nightclub on Orange Avenue—the site of Sunday’s massacre in Orlando—lies just 20 minutes from my house. My Orlando community can now sadly lay claim as the site of the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history, with 49 victims and dozens more injured.

With still-fresh emotions from Sunday’s tragedy, I watch the names of the victims scroll across my TV screen. I’m filled with both great sadness and relief that I don’t personally know anyone who perished.

But I wonder, were they the sons or daughters of someone I know at church?

Did they attend the same college as my oldest son?

Did they work at the same company as my husband?

As a mom of two boys, this too-close-to-home attack horrifies me. As an Orlando area citizen, this unnerves me to the core. If it can happen here—surrounded by family-friendly theme parks in “the happiest place on Earth”—it can happen anywhere.

How do we, as families, overcome the fear so inherent in terrorist attacks? How can we lead normal lives when our world, literally, our own community, feels like it is falling apart around us? How can we even enjoy the simplest of pleasures—like taking our children to a movie theater, a shopping mall or a theme park—when in the back of our minds, we’re scared and suspicious?

I ponder these questions as I go through very bizarre circumstances in the aftermath. It’s surreal to turn on both the national news and the local news and see in-depth coverage of the exact same story. It’s odd to see George Stephanopoulos sitting near the intersection of streets I’ve traveled on, interviewing our local authorities on Good Morning America. It’s weird to ask an editor I need to meet with—who works two miles from the crime scene—if I should postpone our meeting because of the traffic congestion caused by the increased police presence and international media blitz. It’s eerie to see my local TV stations air regular updates of victims’ names, candlelight vigils, memorial services, blood drives, community prayer events and accounts set up to help the victims’ families (GoFundMe) and the Orlando community (OneOrlando).

Orlando memorial for Pulse nightclub victims
Photo: Lisa Beach

It’s also chilling to know that this hate-filled killer, walking through the streets of Orlando like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, is described by his ex-wife and former co-worker as “unhinged, homophobic, erratic, and violent.”

It’s terrifying to hear that this evil monster was scouting out Disney—a place our family has regularly visited for the last 15 years. It makes me wonder—did we unknowingly cross paths with this deranged gunman on the prowl for the perfect target? Bizarre and surreal—and now my reality in Orlando.

Goodness—a heart-to-heart combat—will overshadow evil, one person at a time.

But here’s the thing. This is not what Central Florida is about, this community of family-friendly tourism. Orlando is my local stomping ground, not some sound bite now equated with fear and terrorism.

Orlando is infused with the magic of childhood dreams celebrated daily in our local theme parks. Orlando beats with a giving, helping heart, as demonstrated by the 5,000 people who showed up to donate blood immediately following the crisis. Orlando boasts a joyful melting pot of different lifestyles and cultures, as seen by the thousands of people who gathered for a vigil on the lawn of Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, at the University of Central Florida and at dozens of other places around our community this week. Orlando melds a big-city vibe with a small-town feel.

That is my family’s Orlando.

Vigil at UCF
Photo: Lisa Beach

So how can I reconcile my hometown vision with the horror that just took place? Well, here’s my take-away. Violence can and does happen anywhere. No amount of precautions—at the government level all the way down to personal vigilance—can prevent 100% of criminal activity. But I am not powerless.

Quite simply, I can stay the course.

- I can refuse to let the twisted acts of a vile, unstable murderer define my outlook on life, my faith in humanity, or my belief that goodness will prevail.

- I can act calmly in the face of chaotic tragedy. While it’s certainly not “business as usual” here in Orlando, we, indeed, need to go about our day to bring a semblance of peace, safety and normalcy to our families.

- I can model living life with caution rather than letting fear cripple how I live. While I’m concerned for my family’s safety, we can’t just hide ourselves away, avoiding crowds and public places.

- I can continue to teach my children acceptance, tolerance, and inclusion. We are all different in our own way, not just based on our religion, gender, race, color or sexual preference. Everyone has their own personal history that makes us all different, whether it’s being a cancer survivor or living with autism or overcoming an abusive husband or growing up in poverty or a million other nuances that make us different from one another.

- I can love my family and friends, show kindness to my neighbors and help my community. Goodness—a heart-to-heart combat—will overshadow evil, one person at a time. To quote Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I am not powerless. I can stay the course.

Lisa Beach is a freelance writer, blogger, mother of two teenagers, and recovering SAHM/homeschooler who lived to write about it. Catch up with her at Tweenior Moments, Lisa’s humor blog about midlife, family, friends and all the baggage that goes with it. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest