No More Tears
“Ok. That’s enough now. No more tears, please. Don’t cry” …
Image: Kristen Samson Jackson
I hear the words leaving my mouth as my little one cries over losing her balloon and watches it disappear into the blue sky. I catch myself and let her cry a little longer. I silently rub her back as she cries about this balloon. I smile to myself because in the large scheme of her life, this won’t go down as a historic loss. It probably won’t even be significant in a few hours.
So why did I just let her continue to sob over this balloon?
About a month ago, my daughter caught me crying.
She sat down next to me and I immediately tried to cover it up. She asked what was wrong and I responded with my usual, “mommy is fine”. She then asked me if I stopped crying because crying was bad. I shook my head. “Well I want to be brave, so I don’t want to ever cry” she replied. At first, I thought nothing of the comment.
However, after I let her words sink in, I shook my head again. I didn’t want her to think it wasn’t okay to be sad or to show her emotions.
I have always tried to control my emotions in front of others and internalize those feelings. It’s something I have always wanted to change in myself. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I felt comfortable expressing sadness or troubles to a select group of friends.
Parents want happy kids. Of course we do. We want to shield them from anything that is hurtful or sad. However, that’s not realistic. It’s important for them to explore all of their emotions. And if something does make my daughter sad, I want her to be able to have a shoulder to cry on and know that no one would think less of her for her tears.
Crying had nothing to do with bravery and in many cases expressing emotion is brave.
For most of her 4 years of life, I’ve uttered those words. No more tears. Enough crying. However, I’ve decided to stop. Instead, I hold her, rub her back and ask her why she is sad. I tell her it’s ok to cry. I remind her that I’m there for her always……whether it’s for her lost balloon, scraped knee or eventually, her first broken heart. Life is filled with highs and lows and everything in between. The times when we feel sad makes our happier moments that much more joyful.
So feel everything, little one. Laugh when life is funny. Smile when it brings you joy. And if you’re upset, I’ve got a shoulder. Come cry it out!
Kristen is the mommy behind the groove at Mommy’s New Groove, a blog about mom life. When she’s not writing, she can be found singing Disney songs with her 3 year old daughter, experimenting in the kitchen or teaching Zumba Fitness® classes. A (somewhat) reformed control freak and master multi-tasker, Kristen is learning that this crazy mom life is constantly evolving and all you can do is find your ever-changing new groove. You can follow Kristen on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.
