My Dad Saved My Life. And Then We Went to Burger King.
Not a lot of people can do the things my dad does. Like, he can read in the car without getting sick. And he makes really good steak. Not at the same time, don’t be ridiculous.
My dad could tune out his three kids with the skill of a thousand ninjas. Whether he was reading the Sunday Times cover to cover, or closely monitoring his baseball scorecards, not even the shrill cries of a kid with her head in the oven could catch his attention. Ironically, he’d blast his music every Sunday morning to rouse us from bed. To this day, I still remember every James Taylor lyric known to man.
When I was two, I saw a swimming pool and was like, “Deep end, here I COME!” I jumped in to join my older brother and sister and – BAM! – my chubby bum sunk straight to the bottom. Without a second thought, my dad leapt in to save me, breaking his glasses along the way. I think that’s why we get along so well. I could have been all, “Well, you brought me into this world, it’s your job to keep me here,” but instead I was like, “Thanks for that, Pop. One day I’ll join the swim team and make you proud.”
My dad used to take me on father-daughter trips to Bowcraft, this tiny amusement park next to a highway, and then to Burger King across the street. Those were the days when trans fat was what you had for dinner, and winning enough tickets to get Chinese finger cuffs was all you needed to be happy.
My dad is also a genius. Yeah, okay, the kind with a doctorate and Ivy League-y things, but I really meant the practical kind of genius. Street smarts. Case in point: We used to go on long road trips in a small car, all three kids crammed in the backseat. It was a recipe for disaster. So he came up with something called the Points System. We earned points for being good, and got them taken away when we were bad. If we didn’t have enough points by the time we got to Burger King, we weren’t eating.
I know, right? Genius.
What stories about your dad make you laugh?
Julie Davidoski is a certified Project Management Professional by day, and humor writer by night. Her dog, Uncle Jesse, thinks she watches too much reality TV, but she claims it’s “research” for her blog. Read more of her work at Go Jules Go
