More Car-versations

We were driving to the Children’s Museum, when we pulled up behind a Mayflower moving van. The following was all one conversation, and it went exactly like this:

Meg: “Mom, what does M-A-Y-F-L-O-W-E-R spell?”
Me: “MAYFLOWER.”
Meg: “What is that Mayflower?”
Me: “Well, the Mayflower was a ship that brought the first people from England over to this country.”
Meg: “And was there no one in this whole entire land before then?!”
Me: “Well, no, there were Native Americans living here and it was their country. But then one day, the English just kind of ran into the land and they said, ‘Hey, we want to live here, too!’ and they took the land away from the Native Americans.”
Meg: “You mean they stoled it?!”
Me: “Yup. They stoled it.”
Meg: “THAT WAS NOT NICE!”
Me: “No, it wasn’t.”
Ben: “You know what I think? I think they should have shared.”
Me: “I agree. That probably would have been the best option.”
Ben: “Or you know what else? They should have bought a big house and then they could have lived on the very highest top floor, and the Native Americans could have had the rest.”
Me: “That’s another super good idea.”
Meg: “Mom, can we say Katy Perry is a Native American?”
Me: “…What?”
Meg: “Let’s just say Katy Perry is a Native American girl.”
Me: “No. No, we can’t say that. Katy Perry is American, but she is not a Native American.”
Meg: “Well, let’s just say that.”
Me: “No, let’s not.”
Meg: “What about that ant band?”
Me: “Oh my god, what are you talking about?”
Meg: “The ant band. Some of them are dead.”
Me: “Are you talking about The Beatles?”
Meg: “Yeah! The Beatles! Which one of The Beatles is not dead?”
Me: “Uh…I’m pretty sure that Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are still alive.”
Meg: “Let’s say that Paul McCartney is a girl.”
Me: “What? No! We can’t just say that!”
Meg: “But let’s just say that.”
Me: “Oh my gosh, fine. Maybe Native American Katy Perry can sing with female Paul McCartney some day.”
Meg: “Yes!”

I swear to god, people. Sometimes talking to a five-year-old is like having that crazy guy at the bus stop start a conversation with you and you keep talking to him even though nothing makes any sense and you have nowhere to escape to because you need to get on that damn bus and you’re also worried that if you stop listening he might hurt you. Come to think of it, five-year olds are capable of that, too.

Meredith Bland is the mother of twins, born in 2008. Follow Meredith on her popular, award-winning blog, Pile of Babies.