Lose the "Baby Weight" Now

I am finally losing my ’"baby weight" after having twins 6 months ago. You can too!

So. I’m not talking about burning calories. Or jeans fitting.

Judgment, shame and self-criticism are what I shed – what I am working on shedding – on a daily basis. In our body-obsessed culture it is impossible to escape messaging about how we should look. Expectations and judgments are fancy-free, sticking to us like burs and happy to ride along for as long as we are willing to schlep them.

I challenge you to pluck off some of those burs and study them. Do mirrors always offer a glimpse of your ‘problem’ area? Does a scrumptious treat have you saying ‘cheating’ or ‘bad’? Your postpartum body looks different than mine, but we can both benefit from losing this kind of baby weight. Which judgments do you want to shed? It can help to have some substitutes for the ones that hurt the most. Below are more authentic and positive considerations for your postpartum body.

1. Feed your baby.

By breast or bottle, giving sustenance to a helpless being is life-changing. While you use your (hands, arms, shoulders, boobs, back, stomach) to feed your baby, does it really matter what you look like? Or rather, is that how you want to spend your mental energy during those intimate moments? Instead, think about how your strong wrist supports your daughter’s little neck. Or how your neck bends to just the right angle, bringing you closer to those gentle sucking sounds. Enjoy your body as an essential life force - by breast, by bottle - and see it afresh for all of the amazing ways it sustains life.

2. Move your body.

I do mean exercise. But try on a new way of thinking about it. Moving is liberation. Your body gets to do anything for the next 20 minutes! Walk backwards. Bend over. Reach up to the sky. Feel your limbs relax, your heart beating, your chest expand with air. If you catch yourself judging - notice it, label it - then move on. Notice air coming in through your nostrils. Notice your toes flexing and relaxing against the ground.

After birthing twins I celebrated my body this way with little effort. To go outside without babies in my stomach (or attached to me in some way) was liberating. I grinned during my first walk alone.

3. Lean on supportive friends.

Body judgment is contagious. Does your sister joke about her jeans not fitting? Does that Facebook friend constantly talk about post-baby bulges? You don’t have to de-friend anyone (unless they are toxic), just notice. Notice who talks about her body (or other bodies) in negative ways. Keep an internal log for a week — a mental chart of friends accumulating check marks for every negative comment. Then, decide what to do with that information. Do you want to challenge your friend’s judgments? Have a careful conversation with your mom? Ignore some comments but put up your internal shield? Be proactive in observing and protecting yourself. You can decide who influences you. Maybe you have friends who inspire you, who talk about their body being strong or who exercise with joy. Cultivate those friendships.

If (when) you are feeling consumed by losing postpartum weight, consider this: do you want to spend your (precious, sleep-deprived) energy feeling badly about yourself? Regardless of what your body looks like, I challenge you to lose this other baby weight, bur by bur, tiny judgment by large. It is a daily and hourly practice, and none of us will ever escape our cultural baggage. But we can recognize our thoughts for what they are and decide which ones reflect our deepest values.


Mom to a lively 3-year-old and 7-month-old twins, Keren lives in Minneapolis, loves exploring the outdoors, reading parenting books and coloring. Her parenting philosophy is best described as playfulness grounded in authenticity.