I'm the Problem in My House, Not My Kids

I never understood what was the big deal about Sunday mornings. My family goes to church most Sunday mornings, but we don’t kid ourselves into trying to get to the early service at 8:30. Usually, we try to get there for Sunday school which starts at 9:30, and then we stay for worship afterwards. On weekdays, the kids are up by 6:30 and we are out the door by 7:15. It is, admittedly, a mad dash, but we do it. So why is getting to church by 9:30 so hard?

Well, I think we are still in “weekend mode” on Sunday mornings, so we wait until the last possible second to get out of bed. Then, there is much contemplation over what to wear, a great deal of angst surrounding appropriate undergarments and pantyhose/tights, and, lastly, a lot of consideration given to shoes that will coordinate but not be terribly uncomfortable.

Then, I have to go get the children out of bed and dressed.

Eventually, we are rushing out the door and, often, trying to squeeze in a run through some drive through for a very unhealthy breakfast because we didn’t take time to eat breakfast at home. By the time we finally arrive at church, we are stressed out, extremely frazzled, and far from a peaceful, worshipful state of mind.

At least that’s how is used to be . . .

In February, I took on a temporary, part-time job at my church as the Interim Associate for Children’s Ministry. As part of this position, I have to be at church extra early – usually between 8:00-8:30. When I was considering whether to take the job, I hesitated because I knew this would mean leaving my husband to single handedly get our three girls up, dressed, fed, and out the door each Sunday morning. Now, my husband is a great dad, and perfectly capable of this task, but knowing the chaos that typically happened, I felt a little guilty leaving him to deal with it alone. He was confident he could handle it and very supportive of me, so I took the job and here we are.

And, you know what?? Sunday mornings aren’t so bad anymore.

Normally, when I leave on Sunday, my kids are all still sleeping. However, according to my husband and my daughters, their preparation time on Sunday mornings is now MUCH calmer. Apparently, they rise to the occasion – literally – getting out of bed without much protest for him. There is no arguing about clothes because I help them choose their outfits (and mine) on Saturday evenings. Since there is no arguing about clothes, there are more smiles and laughter which always lightens the mood. Their hair is not always perfect (because I am not there to nit pick over it being perfectly coiffed), but they do manage to run a comb through it and then, they are out the door and headed to grab some breakfast (a “tradition” my hubby has instituted).

Last weekend, my hubby had to leave on Saturday for a business trip, which meant the table would be turned on Sunday morning and I would be left to my own devices AND I had to be at church extra early because we had a special schedule. So, my hubby decided we should all have a chat about it. He praised the girls for their cooperation on recent Sunday mornings and pointed out how much more relaxed everything had been. Then he asked, “Why has it been so much better? What are we doing differently?” The girls pondered it, but had no answer. For me, however, the answer was clear as day. The difference is… I ’m not there on Sunday mornings now!

I’m not there frustrated by my own “issues” and, therefore, I’m not spewing that attitude out onto everyone else. I’m not arguing with my girls to make their outfits and their hair just perfect. I’m not there and things are much less chaotic.

I never understood what the big deal was about Sunday mornings, but now I do and I have realized…

It’s not them. It’s me.

Lisa Witherspoon is a SAHM and the Director Of Household Operations in the ‘Spoon’ household. Fueled by coffee and chocolate, Lisa writes about the joys, frustrations, surprises, and chaos of motherhood on her blog, The Golden Spoons. She is also a contributing author to The Mother of All Meltdowns anthology. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.