I’m Not Looking to Raise a Nice Kid

As I sat in Chick-fil-A this afternoon watching the kids race up the play structure, bumping and pushing one another around in an attempt to be first to the slide (mostly laughing, mostly), I wondered at the personalities displayed. From the more cautious all the way to the rough-and-tumble preschool-age boys, these kids were having fun while displaying more of their personalities than they probably realized.

As my almost three-year-old daughter Reagan ran by, I heard her mutter, “I get past the boys,” and I laughed. Honestly, this was totally out of the norm for my usually shy girl. A good friend’s daughter was in the mix too; fiercely independent and a bit strong-willed even at only just-turned-two, I wasn’t at all surprised to see her right there in the heart of the melee. Inwardly, I cheered at our girls’ daring.

There are many things I wish for my daughter, and many characteristics I pray she will demonstrate as she grows.

I hope she will be brave and strong, always willing to stand up for herself and those around her.

I pray she will be kind and loving, and care for those who need her help.

I’m NOT looking to raise a nice child.

I don’t want her to be someone who always says the nice thing and acts the nice way.

What does nice even mean!?!

According to dictionary.com, the first definition of nice is: pleasing; agreeable; delightful. Okay, so let me be clear – being nice isn’t all bad. I mean, I wouldn’t mind being called delightful (take note, husband). But I want more than just nice for my child. Sometimes the kind thing to do isn’t going to be found pleasing. And often times, loving may not look like agreeing.

Well behaved women rarely make history.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Instead of shooting for nice, I’m aiming for a child who loves, really loves, those around her and is willing to stand up for what she believes in. I want Reagan to be a woman who is a beacon of hope and truth because of her character. I want her to be brave enough to say and do what needs to be done. I want my girl to live life to the full and to only worry about pleasing the Creator of her soul and Lover of her heart.

So while I’m encouraging Reagan to act kindly with the other kids, you won’t hear me shouting “play nice!” anytime soon. Although, “you push that boy one more time and we’re going home” is highly likely to become part of my vocabulary in the near future.



Rachel is mama to one, trying for two, stuck with a couple crazy dogs and loved by a fabulous guy. She’s a stay-at-home-but-rarely-home mom with a knack for saying yes too quickly, especially when it comes to outside commitments and Diet Mountain Dew. You can visit Rachel on her websites, Middle Places and Rachel and Reagan. Also please follow Rachel on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest