Guess Who Wins The "Douchebag of the Week" Award?

Have you seen the news about Public School 120 in Queens? They win the “Douchebag of the Week” award, presented by moi.

I’m proud of what my kids have accomplished this school year, and although I’m dreading summer a little bit (that’s not just me, right?) I’m not sorry to see a pause in what I refer to as “The Fleecing.”

If you’re a parent of a school-age child, you’re familiar with The Fleecing: The constant solicitation to give money to “help your child’s school.” The ever-present “opportunities” to purchase items to benefit the students, the teachers and the school district.

In addition to the five zillion opportunities to purchase pictures of my darling children (yeah, silly me for thinking picture day only comes once a year), there are yearbooks, sweatshirts, t-shirts, water bottles and only God knows what else proudly festooned with our school’s logo. There are bake sales, car washes, and pizza nights.

There are reminders to buy faculty Christmas gifts, and thank goodness we love our teachers because no one could possibly forget about Teacher Appreciation Week and the many, many trees that were sacrificed in order to remind us. And remind us some more.

Not a week has passed without The Fleecing. For the most part, this is limited to endless flyers I have to sort through in The Folder. If the School People really mean business about reminding us they’ll slap a paper bracelet around our little darlings’ wrists. If my kid gets off the bus looking like he’s been clubbin’, I know I need to remember I have the opportunity to give my hard-earned dollah dollah bills to something really important.

For the most part, The Fleecing at our school is passive and silent. I’ve ignored many “opportunities” to give, donate and buy, and no one has come to my door with a baseball bat or even made a subtle suggestion that my family isn’t doing enough to support our school. Although I think The Fleecing is excessive at our school, it funds some nice opportunities and some fun things for our kids.

While we’ve been given some opportunities to buy some crap over the course of the school year, my kids’ participation in school events has never been impacted by what I give or don’t give. Although I poke fun and roll my eyes at The Fleecing, our kids have had a good school year.

Maybe that’s why I got so pissed off when I read at PS 120 in Queens, NY.

In a nutshell, whoever is in charge of planning activities down at PS 120 in Queens thought it would be peachy to end the school year with a bang and planned a carnival, complete with rides, games, prizes and a deejay. Dayum. I don’t remember any deejays in elementary school, do you?

Students who didn’t pay the $10 carnival entrance fee had their names posted in their classrooms…

The price of admission in to this hour-long shangrila was a mere $10. I’ve spent more money in less time on the chocolate pudding encrusted games at the House of the Giant Singing Rat named Chuck.

The tallies of which kids had (or had not) paid were posted in each classroom so that kids whose parents couldn’t (or wouldn’t) fork over cash for a school event during school hours could be in the spotlight. Fun.

The kids who didn’t pay to go to the carnival reportedly watched movies in an auditorium adjacent to the festivities… so close, in fact, that the music and laughter could be heard.

Total. Douchebag. Move.

The principal took some fire for this decision, and rightfully so. According to the article one kid was so upset at being excluded that she “became hysterical.” I don’t usually have emotional reactions to stuff I read on the internets, but damn. This one kind of punched me in the gut.

I think the principal of PS 120 in Queens deserves every bit of venom the internets are sending her way, but it doesn’t end there, people. I highly doubt that the principal of a public school was the brainchild behind planning a school event. This was an event organized by parents. The PTO or PTA or whatever it’s called at that school; the moms and dads who volunteer their time to help enrich their child’s school experience.

These moms and dads got it wrong.

These moms and dads should be ashamed.

They planned an event on the school’s clock that was out of financial reach for a good handful of the kids.

As far as I can tell, no real effort was made to include the kids whose families couldn’t pony up 10 bucks for an hour’s worth of fun during the school day. Sure, an alternate activity was planned for them, and it’s not like they were chained in up in the cafeteria doing homework but… how tacky. How thoughtless. How incredibly mean.

Life isn’t fair. Kids will learn about the haves versus the have not’s and that not everyone gets a trophy. Some parts of life suck, and all of us grownups know that sometimes, we have to sit on the sidelines and watch the lucky kids enjoy the carnival.

But I don’t think that lesson needs to be learned at a public school end-of-year celebration.

Sometimes I succumb to The Fleecing. Sometimes I don’t. But I like to think that when I’m able or willing to be a little generous, that maybe a few pennies go to funding some fun for a child whose parent is a little short. I’d like to think that would work the other way around, and that regardless of what happens with my finances, my 7-year-old wouldn’t be the one crying in the cafeteria while his friends were cavorting at the end of year class event.

I read that PS 120 profited $3K off of this event. Sure, some of that came from the plethora of $10 cover charges, but I can’t help but wonder what PS 120 has planned for that money. I hope that whatever douchebag organized this carnival, they have been appropriately internet shamed and earmarks that money for a kick ass 2015-2016 school year event that includes all the students.

Maybe they can nix the deejay for next year.

Maybe they can amp up The Fleecing. Who knows?

I know I’ll feel a little more charitable next time my kid comes home wearing a neon orange “don’t forget to donate” bracelet.

If you’re a mom or dad who is active in your local school, share this post with another mom or dad. PS 120 gets the Douchebag of the Week award this week, but if getting this story out there gives one over-zealous event planner a reality check then that’s all right with me.

Update: Honestly, reading about educators and parents that would allow kids to be excluded like this is a little bit of a downer, but I’m happy to say this story ends on a little bit of a higher note than what I thought. The owner of “Send in the Clowns Entertainment” in New York heard about the brouhaha over the party after the fact, and has offered to throw the kids who were excluded their own carnival party.

“I’m in the business 25 years and always put the kids first. Therefore, I would like to do a free carnival for all the kids who couldn’t attend.” Gary Pincus, owner, Send in the Clowns Entertainment.

You can read the full story here. Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity a little, Gary. You rock.

Jill Robbins writes about adoption, motherhood and midlife on her blog, Ripped Jeans & Bifocals. She has a degree in social psychology that she uses to try and make sense out of the behavior of her husband and three children but it hasn’t really helped so far. She enjoys dry humor and has a love/hate relationship with running. Her work has been featured on Babble, Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, and Blunt Moms. You can also find her in the December print issue of Mamalode. She willingly answers any questions that end with “and would you like wine with that?” You can follow Jill on Facebook and Twitter.