Five Reasons to Rejoice in Rejection: New Graduate Edition
It’s that time of year – kids are getting into college, high school sweethearts are going to prom together, SAT scores are being mailed out and the Prom King and Queen are being elected (does this actually happen…I went to a private, girls school and have only heard about this on TV).
These milestones are awesome! They are fabulous… except when they aren’t. Sometimes kids don’t get into their first choice college; some will skip, or go date-less to prom, and not all those SAT scores will be close to 2400. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that not everyone is perfect in the age of oversharing; i.e. Facebook posts of college t-shirts, tweets of perfect SAT scores, and sadly, Snapchat shots of the cheating boyfriend.
My children are too young for SATs. Instead, I am listening to friends talk about their kids’ experiences. I wanted to share some great anecdotes with their kids. The ones who aren’t going to their top choice college, acing the SAT’s, or going to prom with their high school sweetheart because s/he chose the night before the SAT’s to tell you s/he cheated on you with your best friend.
Stuff happens kids. And guess what? If you choose to muscle on – to soldier through the crap life throws your way – chances are you will be a success even without a degree from Harvard hanging on your wall.
Five reasons I know this is true:
1) I have a friend who didn’t get into her first choice for college. Actually she didn’t get into any of her top picks from high school, nor when she applied as a transfer her sophomore year of college. We went to a selective high school in the DC Metro area. One where you almost always went to one of your top five schools. Not one to wallow or give up, she allowed herself to be sad, for like five minutes. Then she ploughed through college graduating Magna (not at her dream school). Afterward, she headed to the big city and landed a fabulous job. She may have had some rough years when she was eighteen, but now, who cares? She. Is. A. BALLER. She retired at 35, winters in Klosters with the Royals, and summers with Elton John (yes she lives a life that uses seasons as verbs). Like Dorie in Nemo says “Just keep swimming.” You may not go to your first choice for college, but you can be a baller too.
2) Speaking of baller, let’s talk Tom Brady, shall we? He went 199th in the 6th round of the draft in 2000. The dude thought he was going to have to sell insurance. It’s 2014. I don’t know which gives him more cred, his three superbowl rings or his bangin’ hot wife, Gisele Bunchden. When you want to give up just remember 199…
3) I remember applying to graduate schools when I was 23. I was older than most of the people applying to graduate schools, but I figured I could be 27 and finish graduate school, or 27 sitting around doing something I hated. I asked a professor for a letter of recommendation. He refused. He told me he wouldn’t bother because I would never get in. He was the second person I showed my letter of acceptance from UVA graduate school. I showed my mom first. Sometimes people don’t know what the hell they are talking about so don’t give up.
4) E. Lockhart is the writer of the runaway hit book of the summer We Were Liars (if you haven’t read it I highly encourage you to do so now, you won’t be able to put it down). In the “about me,” portion of her autobiography she says “I used to cry after my fiction writing class in college, because the criticism was so harsh. The teacher of that class was so bored by my work he admitted to me he didn’t even read the final drafts of my stories.” Just keep swimming.
5) When your high school boyfriend cheats on you and cries telling you he knows “you will be the one that got away,” please listen. Run, don’t walk away. You have only been exposed to about 100 people your own age who you can date at this point in your life. There are 31 million students in college. Divided by two that’s 15 million potential suitors. Trust me when I say you will be “the one that got away.” Take this from someone whose cheating suitors now run a bar, work for the bar, and get arrested driving home from the bar. The guy who does the keg stands and hooks up with all the girls is not the one you want to marry.
The commencement talk at University of Texas, given by Navy Seal, Admiral McRaven, has gone viral. It was an amazing speech. We are all given lumps and lemons at some time in our life. I had lots of lumps early on, and have immense gratitude for every cheating boyfriend, negative professor, and disloyal friend. Take your lumps and bumps and move forward. As Admiral McRaven said so eloquently “don’t ring the bell.”
Helen is a mother of three children and five small furry friends. She spends her time caring for the above mentioned humans, running after the animals and writing on her blog Bubble Gum Chic. She sees the humor in the chaos of a life well lived.
