Easing Your Toddler's Transition from Home to Pre-K

Back to School is almost here and the task of sending your three or four-year old to school for the first time ever is never easy – especially if the child has never spent time away from parents. Your child spending several hours in school, not only means they would be away from you that long, but also that they are already taking their first steps towards the independence of being and doing things on their own.

Amidst the physical and emotional transition for the parents and the kids – a few simple steps can be followed in the lead-up to the big day.

Visit the School with your child

Visiting the school with your child before they begin classes will give them a sense of the new environment. Also introduce the teachers and the child to each other, if possible. Observe your child on what interests them more while they are in the school premises. Pay attention to what toys they find interesting or what sort of books they liked skimming. These little details would be useful while you are trying to convince your crying toddler who might say “I don’t want to go to school” in the morning.

Talk them into it

A few weeks before the first day at school, start talking to them about school and explain how fun it would be. For example, if your child liked dinosaur toys during the school visit, tell them there will be many dinosaurs at school and they get to name them too. “What would you like to call the biggest dinosaur?” This way, you are actually stimulating their curiosity, making it clear that school is actually a place to have fun.

Change the focus

It’s not a good idea to wake up the child in the morning saying “It’s time to get ready for school”. They might want to sleep more or may even fake a sleep after hearing you. Instead, adjust their bed time routine so they get up early in the morning without you having to interfere with their sleep. Gently keep their bedroom door open several minutes before their wakeup time to see if that helps.

Be punctual in picking them up

Children remember the time you weren’t there. And coming back at the same time everyday establishes a positive reinforcement of trust. They may not realize the actual time you come to pick up but they can very well understand after which activity at school, they can expect you. Kids are way too smart in understanding patterns than you would imagine.

Respect their anxiety

Many parents often wonder why, although the school was nice and the teachers were caring, their child was still crying every day. If the child is crying only for a few minutes while dropping off in the morning, you really have nothing to worry about. If they cry occasionally, it might be because they think about you in between activities or sometimes some children start crying when they see some other child in their class crying. If the child cries most of the time, in the first week or two (sometime a little more), it’s likely because of separation anxiety. But if they continue to cry all the time for weeks at length, it’s important that you find out what’s really bothering them. Try to find patterns on what triggers the bad mood so you can find workarounds and make things better.

For example: Is there any teacher the child is comfortable with such that the crying is less when that teacher is around? Are there any aggressive children at school? Are they scared of something at school?

If your child can talk simple sentences, ask them questions while they are in a good mood. If you ask “Who did you play with at school?” they may not answer. Instead ask a more closed question “Did you play with John or Amelia today?” or “Did you have fun playing in the water table? Was it nice and cool?”

Talk to the teachers and see their recommendations. Some children may take longer to adjust to a new environment while some would be fine within several hours. It all depends on multiple factors from the way they perceive the world to the relationship they share with their parents and the level of attention they’ve hitherto received. Whatever it is, it’s important to respect their anxiety and find ways to ease their transition.



Vidhya Narayanan is a mom, entrepreneur, writer and a nature and travel photographer. You can read more of Vidhya at her blog, Vidhya. You can also follow Vidhya on Twitter.