Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater
It pains me to admit it, but my child is a CHEATER.
Not at school (plagiarism seems unlikely for a pre-literate three year old) or in romance (she’s just as devoted to her stuffed sheep as ever), but in something much more dire and nearer to my heart. My daughter cheats at board games.
Growing up, I loved playing board games and would force anyone I could find to play with me. To this day, I will drag out a box when friends come to visit, and playing Words With Friends on my phone was a revelation (and probably the first app I ever downloaded). To no one’s great surprise, I counted the days until my daughter and I could start to play together. Most basic board games have age suggestions of two and up or three and up. However, I’ve had Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, and a few other favorites sitting on our shelves since she was of an age where she was liable to eat the pieces, just waiting for the right opportunity to emerge.
Our first attempt was a matching game featuring the Disney Princesses. She knew most of their names already and understood the idea of flipping over tiles to try to find two that matched. What she lacked was competitive instinct. She was just as happy when I made a match as when she did (to the point where she’d try to help me if she knew where a tile that matched my choice might be hiding). I found it a bit odd, but so much of what we did together was collaborative that I wasn’t worried about her not immediately switching into competition mode. And if she occasionally flipped over an extra tile or two on her turn, I figured that was just the cost of doing business. It wasn’t like she was playing to win.
It wasn’t until we switched games that I started to worry.
The game involved a cardboard spinner which told you which piece you selected for your turn. The problem was that the pointer tended to stick. Badly. To the point where my daughter would often try to spin the wheel and it would move less than a full rotation. I offered to grab the spinner from a different game, but my daughter demurred. However, I soon noticed that she was basically steering the pointer to her preferred choice rather than making a valid attempt to spin. Now, there aren’t a lot of toddlers with the manual dexterity to surreptitiously manipulate the outcome. And in her defense, she wasn’t really trying to hide what she was doing. When I asked her about it, she clearly explained that she wanted a certain piece (and not even necessarily the best piece for her position). I explained that she wasn’t playing by the rules and she immediately rebutted that she wanted to play her way.
That struck me as the crux of the dilemma. I wanted to play by the official rules and my daughter wanted to play by her rules. It wasn’t that she was trying to beat me; she simply thought her way was more fun. For now, I think she’s right.
I’m not trying to turn her into a fierce competitor (at least, not yet), I just want her to try new things and to have fun. If she enjoys inventing rules, using the game pieces in novel ways, or playing a game collaboratively instead of competitively, I think I’m okay with that.
It’s just a matter of me changing my mentality to think of it as a chance for her to use her imagination rather than a chance to practice adhering to rules (which I imagine she’ll have lots of opportunities to do later in life). After all, lots of board game enthusiasts have “house rules” and I think that this is in the same spirit.
In the meantime, anyone out there up for a game of Words With Friends?
Marylynne is a mom, wife, newly minted entrepreneur, recovering attorney and community enthusiast. She is currently building a website to help Chicago parents find full semesters or single day sessions of classes for their babies, toddlers, and children to attend. On top of all that, she blogs to share her parental musings and insider tips for making the most of (aka surviving) kid-centric things to do in Chicago on Class Crasher. You can also follow Marylynne on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest
