Caitlyn Jenner Isn't Our Hero

I am not a hater. I’ve never cared too much what the Kardashians et al were up to. When I read about Bruce Jenner’s gender identity issues earlier this year, I was kind of “meh” about the whole thing. I don’t have any direct experience with transgender stuff. With most things, I’m pretty live and let live and this has been no exception.

When Bruce made his very public “Call Me Caitlyn” announcement via Vanity Fair earlier this week, I was impressed. First of all, she looked good! Yeah, I am sure there was airbrushing and we all know Annie Liebovitz could probably make me look good first thing in the morning, pre-coffee, but still… she looked good. I never found Bruce particularly attractive as a dude but Caitlyn’s a beautiful woman who seems to be at last comfortable in her own skin.

Good for her. I wish her well and outside of the transgender community, she’ll probably have her season of fame and then… well, go on to do whatever she wants to do with her life. She’s 65 and seems to be embracing life like the world is her oyster. I find that to be pretty awesome.

And while I don’t usually let myself get wrapped around semantics, I have to get up on my little soapbox for a minute and object to Caitlyn Jenner being lauded as a hero. Role model? Sure. Inspiration? Yes, for some. But hero? I say no.

My husband was in the military for 26 years. My brother-in-law is an Army veteran with PTSD and TBI. There have been many people that have touched my life that I call heroes. They’ve sacrificed their personal freedom, hung out in shitty places that no one wants to go, away from their families, where people want to shoot them. Some of them don’t come home, and when they do, they are not the same. Sometimes they’re missing fingers or legs. Sometimes, the brokenness is on the inside. Those are the heroes in my eyes. They are not in your newsfeed right now. They are not glamorous or controversial. They don’t seek glory or notoriety. But, they are the heroes. My heroes.

Law enforcement workers and first responders. Teachers. People who are out there really making a difference every day doing their jobs because they want to and because it makes a difference. Those people are heroes.

Caitlyn Jenner is brave and I deeply admire that. I can’t imagine what it’s like to walk in her shoes and I think she’s handled herself with dignity. I hope her willingness to be so open with her story helps others see they’re not alone or to learn to accept themselves. But hero? Isn’t that a stretch?

On July 15th Caitlyn Jenner will receive the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. This person may (or may not) have been considered:

Noah Galloway is an Army Veteran who lost an arm and a leg in a roadside bomb in Iraq. Now he competes in Crossfit and runs marathons.

There are some things I just don’t understand and this is one. I’m sure there’s more to the story than I know, but man… what a story this picture tells.

You can read more on the article here, and while I am not on board with the bashing, I am shaking my head at the comparison between Caitlyn and Noah. It seems wrong, especially when we’re so casually tossing the word hero around. Whether Noah Galloway was considered or not, some are outraged at the comparison.

If I could say one thing to Caitlyn it would be “you go girl.” I’d also tell her that I’m okay with sharing my woman title with her, even though I know there’s been some online brouhaha over that.

But when you’ve lived my life and rubbed elbows with so many true heroes who have put themselves at risk and seen so many families soldier on when a loved one is killed in the line of duty, just maybe you get wrapped around semantics a little bit when people start talking about heroes. Just maybe.

Jill Robbins writes about adoption, motherhood and midlife on her blog, Ripped Jeans & Bifocals. She has a degree in social psychology that she uses to try and make sense out of the behavior of her husband and three children but it hasn’t really helped so far. She enjoys dry humor and has a love/hate relationship with running. Her work has been featured on Babble, Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, and Blunt Moms. You can also find her in the December print issue of Mamalode. She willingly answers any questions that end with “and would you like wine with that?” You can follow Jill on Facebook and Twitter.