Beanie Babies

I recently read an article that started off with the teaser line, “Did you collect Beanie Babies in the 90’s? Here’s why you’ll wish you still had them…”

You may remember how Beanie Babies were all the rage in the 90s, but then seemed to fade into obscurity once the market became saturated. I distinctly remember news reports of parents’ dang near scratching each other’s eye out over getting the latest Beanie Bear or Patti the Platypus. I watched all of this from afar because back in the 90’s, I didn’t have kids yet. BUT, once my young ‘uns came around in 2003 and 2005, there was a major landslide of these floppy little critters that could be found at every garage sale and my kids were instantly hooked. These once $5+ stuffed toys were also going for an average price of “three-for-a-buck” and were as common as mud.

Kind of like what Zhu Zhu Pets are like now…but with less ridiculous gear like rocket ships and light-up plastic habitats.

As my kids grew, so did their collection of “previously owned” beanies.

My nephew, who was a child of the 90’s, handed down his vast collection to my kids as well. There was a time when both of their toy boxes were overflowing with the likes of Stinky the Skunk, Pinchers the Lobster, Brownie the Bear, Scorch the Dragon, and every freakin’ colored bear imaginable. I distinctly remember a time when several of our local thrift shops REFUSED to take any more beanies because there was already a multitude of these rejects gracing their shelves.

Basically, Beanie Babies became like a bad venereal disease on a Saturday night; unwanted and very hard to get rid of.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that these silly little toys are now possibly worth MONEY. Not a little $$ either. I know this could be all huff, puff and B.S., but I read that the purple Princess Diana Beanie Baby Bear that I had so carefully kept in a case for years (and later sold for $1. I got an additional dollar for the case) could be worth as much as 300 THOUSAND BUCKS!

I admit I peed myself a little when I read that dollar amount.

As I surveyed the list within the 15 Most Valuable Beanie Babies article, my stomach hit my toes and I came to the conclusion that there was a good chance I had sold off my retirement fortune for “2 for 25 cents” at my last yard sale.

But instead of crying over spilled milk…or mud since Squealer the Pig is apparently worth $400-$900 (we had two; one for each kid). I decided to laugh it off. So here my friends are the reality-based Beanie Babies that would have been created if parents would have had any say in the matter.

Shifty the Snake

Shifty’s greatest claim to fame would be her ability to slither away and temporarily disappear when unsavory chores need to be done like scooping dog poo or helping mom unload groceries.

Slacker the Sloth

Possum is a clever fellow who knows how to fake sickness, soreness and even oncoming death to get out of doing homework on a Friday night, unloading the dishwasher or mowing the lawn.

Hoarder the Squirrel

Hoarder would come with several totes to support his affinity for storing everything but the kitchen sink under something; let’s say a bed for example. Hoarder loves to hoard empty water bottles, classroom Valentines from three years ago and a collection of sticks from his last family outing.

Snarky the Chameleon

Patterned after your average tween girl, Snarky has a big mouth and an attitude to match; especially on Mondays when there she has “nothing to wear!” or “but, but, but Jamie has a Smartphone!” True to her chameleon nature, Snarky can change on a dime from a sweet-as-pie tween to a Linda Blair-like spectacle from The Exorcist.

Rancid the Boar

Rancid would be happiest when he is nestled among sweaty gym socks and athletic apparel that is sorely in need of washing. Rancid the Boar’s nature habitat usually revolves around teenage boys, locker rooms and gymnasiums.

Since I have apparently missed out on vast fortunes with our long-gone Beanie Baby collection, so I hope my misstep is a lesson to all parents. If I were you, I’d pull those abandoned Zhu Zhu Pets, Bratz Dolls, Squinkies and My Little Ponies out of the garage sale box and tuck them away into safe keeping. With any luck, in about 23 years they may be worth 2K-4K each….on a good day.

Hey, a mama can dream.



Rebecca Flansburg is a Mom, Blogger, and Freelance Writer. Her veteran blog FranticMommy is all about moms, kids, parenting, and women in business (with a healthy side order of FUNNY). Rebecca prides herself in her ability to write in a fun, fresh, and conversational way and totally appreciates the value of naps and large quantities of chocolate. You can connect with her on Instagram and on Pinterest.