Baby Blues

I’ve always found the idea of postpartum depression absolutely terrifying. It’s an issue that definitely doesn’t get the attention it deserves (according to the Centers for Disease Control, 11 to 20% of women who give birth each year have postpartum depression symptoms thanks to the physical toll of child birth and the dramatic drop in hormones). Needless to say, its effects can be devastating.

I was so worried about postpartum depression, in fact, that I opted to do placenta encapsulation, which is said to help stabilize hormone levels after birth. That’s right – I ate my own placenta. Before you get too grossed out, I should explain that my placenta was freeze-dried, powdered and then encapsulated into pills for easy consumption. Tastes just like chicken.

Happily, I have not suffered from postpartum depression, but there are times when I’m hit by a case of the baby blues. It’s weird to think that such a joyous time in one’s life can also include moments of sadness, but I hear this is common. For me, I think these feelings coincide with sleep deprivation, physical changes my body is still dealing with post-birth and those pesky hormones. Interestingly, the sadness I sometimes experience is not in relation to my baby. Rather, I find that when I do become emotional over something – if I’m faced with a difficult situation, bad news or just a tough day – I get especially sad. It’s sometimes tough to shake. It’s as if someone has turned up the volume on my dial of emotion, and things just seem to have a greater weight.

I think part of my increased sensitivity has to do with the pressure I sometimes put on myself as a new mom. I can’t help but always want to be at my best these days, but it’s an expectation I can’t quite fulfill. If I’m running late, if I still can’t fit into my pre-baby wardrobe, if I get into a petty disagreement with my husband, I feel extremely down. I might mope for a few hours or just let the tears flow. It’s not like me, and I hope it passes. The last thing I want is to look back on this wonderful time and think about the time I broke down about my inability to do the dishes.

The early days of motherhood are both wonderful and strange. Everything is exactly how you hoped it would one day be and, at the same time, everything is suddenly different in the blink of an eye. It’s great and destabilizing at the same time so it’s no wonder that it takes a minute for your body to catch up.

Thankfully, when I start to feel a little blue, I have the best dose of happiness on the face of the planet. My son has a funny way of making everything better.

If you do find that you’re feeling more than blue and might be dealing with postpartum depression, make sure you get the help and attention you need. Taking proper care of yourself is a necessary part of being a great mom.



Jillian Gordon is the Managing Editor of Mamapedia.com. A Los Angeles-based lifestyle writer and editor, her work has appeared in Beauty Launchpad, Nailpro Magazine, Saturday Night Magazine and Westside Today. She is also the former Content Manager of Mom.me. Jillian welcomed her son Flynn in November, 2016.