An Open Letter To Everyone On A Plane With A Toddler

Ahhhhh flying with a little snotty sproglet toddler. Whoever is worried about flying with a baby really has no clue yet because trust me that’s a doddle compared to flying with a toddler. And to all those p***** off people who happen to be on a flight over the next few months with a toddler sitting near you…this one’s especially for you!


Dear fellow passengers,

Right now, you’re probably in one of either two camps. The first – total utter blissful ignorance as to the ways of a toddler, looking all gooey at my toddler frustratedly trying to get their seatbelt on because you are yet to embark on the crazy journey that is parenthood. Yup, I bet you’re thinking…ahhh what an adorable cheeky monkey! Yes, that’s because you’ve only just sat down in your allocated seat. Let’s check in again later yeah?

OR

you are an old git never been there, or who has never wanted to have kids (hey, I don’t blame you), or is trying to forget you ever went there, wondering who on this airplane you can bribe to not sit anywhere near the toddler, particularly if you are sat SMACK BANG IN FRONT of the toddler.

Look, here’s the deal.

I have already asked my toddler a BAJILLION times to:

Keep quiet
Not kick the seat in front
Not keep putting the tray table down so it bangs your back all the time
Not have a tantrum or freak out
Not sing or shout at the top of their freaking voice when you’re trying to catch some zzzzzs
Not keep peering over the seat at you
Not play that REALLY irritating game on the ipad
Make the most of the activities I’ve packed to keep them from driving you nuts

I have reasoned, begged, bribed and even played weird mind games to make this journey more comfortable for you and everyone on the plane with this toddler.

But the truth is, they are a toddler, their brain still has a long way to go in terms of development, and you just can’t expect them to behave like we do like a plane…. I know you think they are a possessed Tazmanian devil, and that we must be terrible parents for not being able to control them yadda yadda yadda; and that you feel like beating your self over the head with a club for booking this flight, or seat, or for being fooled into thinking they could potentially be cute at first look.

But hey, we have to live with this ALL the time. You have to live with it on a flight for a couple of hours. So deal with it. And remember you too…were once a toddler gremlin who annoyed the hell out of everyone.

Also might I add that you actually get to have a proper “holiday” at the end of this whereas we just get more slave labour, just in a different country so….enjoy! Plus we hate you too, single traveller.

Yours very apologetically,

One mortified mother




Motherhood: The Real Deal is run by Talya, a mum to a very intense, amazing little toddler gal who most of the time specializes in driving her round the bend. Having given up the working mum role when she hit 12 months (she was the co-founder and Editor-in-Chief for an online lifestyle platform) she’s sat on both sides of the fence as a working and then stay-at-home mum and like many, has grappled with the issues which come hand in hand with both scenarios. You can follow Talya on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.