Am I Leaving All The Hard Work To The Babysitter?
I have two toddlers and a full time job. My life is certifiably crazy and I’m not far behind. Every day is a scramble; every night is a crap shoot. All I can say in these moments of insanity is, “THANK GOD FOR THE BABYSITTER.”
We got lucky in the sitter department. She’s firm, fair and dependable. She cares about my kids and even LIKES them. She goes beyond to make her home their home-away-from-home. She’s the perfect mix of Mary Poppins and Supernanny.
To say I rely on her is an understatement. On work days, she sees them more than I do. She knows what they eat (or more likely don’t eat). She knows just what to do if they cry. She knows how they’re feeling from day-to-day even if they can’t articulate it. She rhymes off who they play with, and all the funny things they say. She has a relationship with my kids; they respect her. But just like parenting has its tough days, child care has its tough days too, and on those tough days I wonder, am I leaving all the hard work to the babysitter?
When my kids refuse to eat anything except ketchup for supper (just ketchup…nothing else), I let out a huge sigh and just give in. I give in because I know the sitter fed them roast chicken with potatoes and carrots for lunch, and fruit with homemade mini muffins for snack. I don’t know how she gets them to sit like little gentlemen and eat all that, but she does. And because she holds firm at lunch, I can cave at supper.
When my 16-month-old demands a bottle on Saturday morning, I give it to him. Despite my better judgment and all the research, I give him another one at lunch, mid-afternoon, bedtime (and any other time he asks if I’m being honest). I let him indulge his bottle addiction on the weekends because I know she’s weaned him during the week.
When I need to get ready for work, I turn to Netflix. I tell myself I’ll only let them watch 15 minutes. 15 minutes usually turns into 30…sometimes 30 turns into 60. I ease the guilt by reminding myself they are screen-free all day at the babysitter’s house. What’s a couple minutes (or an hour) if it means we get out the door (relatively) on time?
Separately, none of these parenting flubs is a grand miscarriage of justice. (Everybody let’s their kids eat ketchup for supper, right? Heh heh…) But then I did the unthinkable. (Well, almost did…)
We were getting ready to leave in the morning. The boys were stuffed into their winter gear ready to go when I smelled that all-too-familiar smell—-someone pooped. I groaned thinking of all the clothes I had to peel off him and put back on just to get to that diaper. And that’s when I had a devilish idea. Maybe I’ll just pretend he pooped in the car on the way to the sitter’s so she can deal with it.
“Come on, boys. Let’s go!” I roared pretending the poop didn’t exist.
The first toddler was happily sausaged into his car seat so I went to work on the poop-filled one. As I buckled the shoulder straps I was overcome with the smell of poop and shame. I sighed a defeated sigh and said, “Everyone back inside. We have poop.”
I unbuckled both toddlers, took them in, undressed the poopy one, changed him, redressed him, sausaged them both back into their car seats and set off to the babysitter’s house. I was 15 minutes late for work, but at least I was able to look the sitter in the eye when we got to her house.
So am I asking the babysitter to do the hard work? Yes, I am…but not ALL of it. Parenting is a tough gig and we need that proverbial village to help us navigate its nuances. The babysitter is part of my village. Some might see my choices as lazy; others might see them as a mom just trying to get through the day. Well, it’s neither hither nor thither. The bottom line is we can’t do it alone. At least I can’t. So I will continue to rely on her to get veggies into my kids, wean the baby off the bottle, and provide screen-free activities.
Hey, maybe if I ask nicely, she’ll potty train my kids. Then neither one of us will ever have to worry about poop filled diapers ever again!
Lisa lives in PEI, Canada with her husband and two boys. She blogs regularly at Momologues and is a regular contributor to G! Magazine. Her stories have been featured on Scary Mommy, Blunt Moms, Mamalode and more. When she’s not writing, Lisa teaches music at a local public school. Stop by her blog Momologues and follow her on Facebook and Twitter
