A Mother's Hope: All Lives Will Matter
I am an American mutt: my father’s side is Irish, German, English, and my mother’s side is Dutch, German, English, and Cherokee. After the Vietnam War my father took a government job and married my mother, a teacher. Eventually I became a high school English teacher in a highly diverse school, where the student body spoke greater than 30 languages and many students qualified for free or reduced meals.
As a former teacher and current mother I sympathize with the Black Lives Matter movement. But I’m not sure that it goes far enough.
Why? Because All Lives Matter. I believe the Black Lives Matter movement should just be the first step in a larger campaign.
I would love to see this movement evolve to include these lives as well:
Immigrant Lives Matter
America was founded by immigrants. Truth: Native Americans are the first Americans; everyone else is an immigrant. Though many Americans have replaced the American dream with the Entitlement dream, many immigrants arrive here believing in the promise of this great country. And as an educator, let me share this reality: immigrant children leave behind homes torn by war, violence, and unbelievable poverty. Because of this, they are often the hardest working students I ever encountered.
Refugee Lives Matter
My heart breaks when I hear hate-mongering rhetoric. The Syrian refugees are fleeing terror; terror in the form of rape, torture, and murder. How embarrassing for one of the world’s leading nations to suggest ignoring the very people suffering at the hands of ISIS. No family’s faith should ever determine their right to life.
Special Needs Lives Matter
Bullying begins when we define each other based upon differences rather than similarities. Special needs individuals enjoy the same things everyone else enjoys: family, friendship, hobbies. Just because an individual looks or acts differently is NOT an invitation to treat them differently. Special Needs individuals can lead lives that are as fulfilling as any other’s; therefore, they should enjoy a life that enriches them.
Elderly Lives Matter
As people age, they often become invisible. It’s a tragedy that our culture often marginalizes the elderly. After I had my daughter, we visited Great-Grandma almost weekly for a lunch date. This simple outreach made all the difference. Our elderly led rich lives; they are treasure troves of knowledge and stories and humor. They should be treated with deference.
Homeless Lives Matter
Many individuals find themselves homeless because they simply couldn’t stretch their paycheck. Early in my teaching career I had a student who was living out of a car with her mother. They both held jobs, but minimum wage just wasn’t enough for rent. Not only do they need help, but they need acknowledgement.
Both the educator and mother in me yearns for a world where All Lives Matter and we clearly see the humanity that shines in each of us. If we routinely celebrate our differences instead of fearing them school bullying could cease within a generation. If we raise children to see the humanity in each other, insults such as “homo”, “wetback”, and the n-word could fade away.
What can parents do?
Use the Power of Words
I strive to instill the power of words in my child. We talk about hurtful words as well as helpful words. Words should always be chosen with care; for some children, a hurtful name can create a life-long scar.
Vote
I’ve taken my daughter to the voting booths since she was born. It’s an important civic lesson: we each have a voice and should use it. Many voices speaking as one can re-shape the future.
Model
I keep a bag of goodies in the car for homeless individuals. My gallon ziplock bag contains thick socks, gum, pouch tuna fish, granola bars, and personal hygiene items. My kindness bags won’t solve homelessness, but they acknowledge an individual’s hardship and address it in a small way.
Seek the Truth
As an English teacher I instilled the importance of verifying sources. It’s so easy to access information today, many forget that anyone can put anything up online; what we read is often completely bogus. Just look at Snopes.com and how many untruths they’ve busted. Question what political candidates say. Question the sources on the news. Find the truth—it’s usually hiding somewhere close to the fray.
Do What You Can
We are all bound by our means. While I cannot donate thousands of dollars a year, I can buy an extra bag of groceries every month for the local food pantry. I can organize a collection drive for the local baby pantry. I can volunteer to help others learn English. And my daughter sees this; she is beginning to learn the power of helping.
Acknowledge One Another
In our technologically-driven lives, it’s often hard to actually connect. Look people in the eye when talking to them. Acknowledge their humanity. Help if you can. Ask an elderly diner to join you for a meal. Pay something forward. Address an –ism if it occurs in your presence.
One of most powerful lessons we can teach our children is character. A person should never be judged upon their race, ethnicity, (dis)ability, socio-economic status, gender, sexual preference, or age. What matters in this world is the content of our character. Will we treat everyone with kindness or neglect? With respect or animosity? Will we acknowledge each individual we meet or only a certain few?
We live in times rife with tragedy. Mr. Rogers once recalled what his mother told him regarding tragedies: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” I want to be a helper. I want everyone to become a helper until we don’t need helpers anymore because all lives will matter.
How can we best teach our children to help?
After surviving ten years as a high school English teacher, Kathryn opted to create imaginary worlds and spend her days hunting for ladybugs with her daughter. She has written for ChildGood and Babies and Breastfeeding magazines as well as various sites around the web.
