A Profound Lesson on Self-Love from My Son

Maybe it was hormonal. Or maybe, just chalk it up to a bad day, but last week I stood in my closet, arguing outloud with myself about a pair of ill-fitting boots. I just stood there for several minutes trash-talking my appearance in front of a full-length mirror to an audience of none…or so I thought.

The object of my hatred that particular morning was my “fat calves”! YES, I was cursed with fat calves. They don’t fit nicely in cute knee-high boots and they drive me nuts in slim-fitting pants! Add them to a LONG list of things I would change about myself… but alas I digress!

On this particular morning I realized just how important it is to be cautious about self-deprecation with young, and seemingly “unaware”, ears nearby! My son sat on the couch, engrossed in his morning cartoons, (or so I thought) as I grumbled about how much I hated “my stupid fat ankles” from the other room. Defeated, I came and parked it on the couch beside him. I never considered for even a moment that he heard me, nor processed anything I said. After all, he’s only six years old!

Seconds after my rear settled into the seat, my son looked right into my eyes and said: “Mommy, maybe it’s not that your ankles are stupid and fat, maybe it’s that your boots are just too small! It’s time for new, bigger boots!” And then he returned to his cartoons as if he hadn’t just said the most profound thing I’ve ever heard!

So I began thinking… when do we lose that simplistic eternal optimism! When do we switch from being so basic and confident, to self-effacing and self-loathing? Why do I allow a pair of boots to determine my worth? How can I let an article of clothing destroy my value? My husband and I focus all of our energy on helping our children be confident, strong, well-adjusted beings, and yet I treat myself so poorly!?

I started thinking about how often in a single day I put myself down… the answer was scary. I became more emotional when I realized I do it a lot. What am I doing?! How can I ever teach my son and daughter to be confident if I allow a stupid pair of boots to own me?

Things have to change! I’m never going to like my “fat ankles” or big butt, or, or, OR… but I have lots of other great qualities that make me beautiful and loved by the people in my life. I need to own those qualities! As women- We all need to! And – as moms, we need to remember that even on your worst day – a day when you feel lower than you ever thought imaginable – to your children, you are a hero!

My son feels safe in my arms. He looks to me for cues on confidence. His self-esteem and values will be based on how I treat myself and those around me. For my children I need to change but equally important – I need to change for myself. I am worth it! And so are you!

I am a mother of 2 children under 6 and for a full-time media copywriter. I’ve worked in radio as a writer for over 11 years, but I am new to the Blogging world. I am a lover of self-deprecating humor, and trust me, I have lots and lots of material! My blog features my blunt perspective on just about everything from medical concerns to surprising moments with my children. I share it all in an open, authentic and sometimes brutally truthful manner! You can find more at Three Squeezes 1-2-3.