A Mom at War... with the People in the Aldi Parking Lot

Since becoming a mother I have made my fair share of silly mistakes. But never before had the stakes been so high…

I grabbed my two-year-old daughter and headed for the exit of the busy supermarket. She screamed in objection to the sudden urgency, but I needed to get out of there. Time was running out.

“Excuse me madam, Can I interest you in a credit card today?” Asked a smiling sales assistant blocking my path to the exit.

A better woman would have ignored her and continued to the exit. A tougher woman would have told her that someone who is running through a supermarket with a crying toddler is probably NOT in the mood to discuss credit cards. But, unfortunately, I am neither of these women. I am an idiot. An idiot who decided to say, “no thank you.”

I gave her an inch and she took a mile. As far as she was concerned, I engaged with her. I made eye contact. I was hers now.

“It is interest free for the first 18 months and you get cash back for every penny you spend in store if you sign up today!” She chirped.

Why was I listening to this? I should just walk away. I was not her prisoner. Go now and don’t look back. I thought to myself. “Look, I really have to get to school to pick up my daughter!” I said and started to move toward the door.

“I understand, madam, but all you need to do now is fill out this short form.”

It was at this point, I finally snapped. OK, when I say “snapped” I mean I said “no thanks” again but more firmly and then left the store.

I ran to my car. We could still make it! It was my eldest daughter’s first day at school and I did not want to be late. I grappled around in my bag for the car keys. They weren’t there. I checked my pockets. No keys. I checked the toddler’s pockets. Nothing. I emptied my shopping bags. The keys were gone.

I mentally retraced my steps.

I saw myself arriving at the supermarket. Smiling and thinking how much easier it was to go shopping with just one child in tow. I remember locking the car while feeling a bit smug about remembering to bring the Bags For Life. Then I opened the trunk with the key fob to get them out. I put the keys down as I helped the toddler to do her coat up. I closed the trunk. Where did I put the put the…

In the bloody trunk! The now-locked bloody trunk.

I panicked. I tried to pull open the trunk in case there was a chance I had developed super strength overnight. I hadn’t. I grabbed my mobile and called the car breakdown service.

“I have an emergency!! I need to get somewhere. My keys are locked in the boot. It is urgent!” I told them.

“Are you on the roadside?” She asked.

“No.”

“Are you in a safe place?”

“Yes.”

“Then you may have a short wait. Our mechanic will contact you soon.”

“I am trying to get to school to pick up my daughter! Please, I don’t have much time.”

“I am sorry madam but there is nothing else I can do.”

My heart sank as I pictured my eldest daughter looking for me in the playground after her first day. Keen to run into my arms and give me a cuddle. Lost and alone. Where is my mummy? She would cry.

Just when I thought things could not get any worse it started to rain and my toddler threw a pot of coleslaw at me. There was coleslaw over her, me and the ground.

The car park attendant was now heading my way. Was I in trouble about the coleslaw? Is there a penalty for coleslaw littering? I worried. In a panic I threw a spare Bag For Life over the spillage.

“Excuse me, is this your…” She began.

“Look, yes, it is coleslaw and I am sorry but I am just trying to get to school to pick up my daughter. It is her first day and I need get there on time! I know you are probably thinking that is nothing to do with the littering of fresh produce but…”

“I was just going to say… is this your car? Because you are ten minutes over one and a half hours and there is a one and a half hour limit here.”

Can I catch a break? I explained about the keys.

“Ok. Well good luck. I am sure your daughter will forgive you one day!”

Phew, at least she gave me a break. After she walked off, my heart sank. My four-year-old may be scarred for life at the memory of her mother ‘not turning up’ on her first day of school. I checked my watch. If the breakdown people got there soon, I could still make it. The mechanic rang. One and a half hours! I was not going to make it!

Apparently, a lady in the SAME car park called ONE minute before me so they had to change her flat tire first.

“Is there any way you could please come to me first?? I begged in desperation. "I need to get to school to pick up my daughter! She’s only in Kindergarten and it’s the first day of school.”

He told me there was nothing he could do. It was their ‘policy.’

So now I was cold, wet and crying in a supermarket car park. Plus, I had no coleslaw. I called my friend and apologised for having to use her ‘emergency pick up’ status on the first day of school. I arranged for her to collect my precious firstborn should I not make it. I had to admit defeat.

Or did I? Did Michael Douglas give up in Falling Down? No. He did whatever it took to get to his daughter’s birthday party! He fought back against the system. He took charge. He was having a bad day but he did something about it. Maybe, I could too.

Stay out of my way and no one gets hurt (or covered in coleslaw).

I spotted the Flat Tire Lady a few rows along. She was standing by her car without a care in the world.

It was time for this mum to fight back. Armed with my Bag For Life and a coleslaw covered toddler I approached Flat Tire.

I explained about my young daughter starting school that day and how she would be devastated to find her mummy not there to pick her up. I told her how she would be scared and upset. I asked her to please let me see the mechanic first. I had tears in my eyes. It was a story to melt the hardest of hearts.

“So you see I really need to get to school to pick up my daughter.” I finished.

“Sorry, love. I have a hair appointment.” She replied.

I gave it one last shot. “But I need to get to school to pick up my daughter!… Kindergarten!.. First day!”

“Sorry, I really need my roots doing.”

If this was Falling Down, I would have pulled out every hair on her stupid head shouting, “You don’t need your roots doing now, lady.”

I may not be Michael Douglas. But I’d had ENOUGH! So…

I tutted loudly. Really, really loudly (once I was definitely out of her ear shot).

I never did get to my daughter on time. TWO HOURS after pick up, I arrived to fetch her from my friend’s house. I knocked on the door with my heart in my mouth. My little girl was bound to be in a state. Crying her little eyes out. Believing that her mummy didn’t love her enough to pick her up on her first day of school.

As expected, she didn’t look very happy when she saw me. Poor thing. She had probably been missing me. She didn’t run into my arms, she didn’t even smile or say hello. She looked at me with big sad eyes and spoke.

“OOOOOH NO, Mummy! I don’t want to go with you. Can I stay here longer?”

Emily-Jane Clark is a journalist, writer and the creator of How To Survive A Sleep Thief – a humorous antithesis to baby sleep advice. She is also currently writing a book and hasn’t slept in four years so she is only to be approached if you are armed with coffee or wine or both. You can read more on website www.stolensleep.com or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.