5 Signs I'm a Middle-Aged Mom

I started noticing some changes in my life a couple of years ago.

At first I thought it was pregnancy hormones (I was pregnant with Simon at the time). Then I thought maybe it had something to do with the kind of soap I was using.

But now, I realize that I’m just becoming a middle-aged mom.

Afraid you’re becoming one too? Here are a few of the signs I noticed:

1. I wanted a minivan: I’m not kidding you, I wanted it so badly I could taste it. A minivan? In silver? Yes, please! In fact, I’ve found that my left eye starts to twitch when I’m riding in a vehicle that is not a minivan.

2. Even Steven wears rubber gloves: After a long day of my husband working and me taking care of the kids, we like to unwind by Even Steven slipping on a pair of rubber gloves and helping me take off my compression hose. How do you spell S-E-X-Y?

3. Vacation Fund: My vacation fund is now my varicose vein surgery fund. See above. And – PS – vacations with kids aren’t really vacations. Amiright?

4. Christmas List: My Christmas list for the past two years has consisted of every single item in the LL Bean catalog. I mean – if they make a soft turtleneck in every single color, then why wouldn’t I wear one every single day? Someone please agree with me on this!

5. Raisins: Yes, I said raisins. And no, I’m not referring to a part of my body. I knew I was a mom when I realized that the raisin on my living room floor would stay on the floor until I picked it up. It could be days, weeks – maybe even a year if I let it go that long. But I know I’m now a middle-aged mom because I’m oftentimes too tired and sore to bend over and pick up that raisin.

And P.S., why will my kids eat woodchips off the playground but they won’t eat a freaking raisin off the living room floor?

I’m not even going to get into the gray hairs or the bodily changes – or how Even Steven is nagging me about college funds. That would be much too depressing for all of us.

Are you a middle-aged mom? What were your signs?

Anna Luther is the mom behind the blog, My Life and Kids, where she strives to make you feel better about your messy, crazy, fabulous life. Find her on Facebook, on Pinterest and Twitter.