Zero Sex Drive :( - Woodland,CA

That Mirena killed my sex drive. I feel like all I've done on here recently is preached about the evils of Mirena! It's AWFUL!! My sex drive came back full force about 5 days after having the IUD removed (and fixed about a thousand other problems).

I feel ya!! My baby is 5 months, and I have L. to no interest most of the time. I feel awful, but its just how I feel. I think about sex, and wish we did have it more, but when bedtimes rolls around, i want to SLEEP!
Hang in there!

Are you taking the pill? This happened to me when I had been with my husband for close to 6 or 7 years and I was in my early 20's. I thought that there had to be something wrong with me because I never wanted to have sex. I brought it up with my Dr. and all she said was it is totally normal for a couple who has been together as long as we have to not be as "frisky" in the bedroom. I thought this answer was insane and I didnt agree with it one bit. I finally after looking into it myself realized that the whole time it was my birth control pill that was causing me to have no libido whatsoever. Sort of ironic that the pill that is suppose to protect against the actions of sex can cause you to not want sex at all =)
Good Luck

I feel the same way many times. Try to talk to him about why you are feeling this way and he might understand and won't take it personally. I think it will improve after the baby gets older. Mirena might have something to do with it, but I don't know. Hang in there!

I feel the exact same way!!! My sex drive isn't what it used to be either. And I feel like everything my husband does is sexual.EVERYTHING!!! Sometimes I just wanna scream "I'm not a piece of meat!!! I'm your wife!!!" don't get me wrong, he's sweet and all and is a very devoted dad and husband, but come on!!! I made a rule that he can't touch my butt or boob until he's kissed me and asked how my day was. I understand his frustrations, but I want to be able to just kiss or hug him without him thinking it's going to lead to sex later.

I think it is normal. You're tired and sleep just takes priority. You can talk to your OB/GYN, but it seems normal. I'm the same way -- too tired!

you're not alone. i have very L. interest in sex pretty much since conceiving my daughter 4 yrs ago. my biggest turn on these days is when my hubby cleans without me asking him to.

ahhh, motherhood.

OMG I feel like I wrote this! I feel the exact same way, and it's leading to a lot of distance/tension in my marriage. I'm having Mirena removed TOMORROW thank God! I am planning on updating everyone I have asked in a few weeks. I would def. look into the other side effects as I have had all of them!

He there,
It's just a hormonal thing and will be back to normal after a couple of months. You might be just tired caring for the baby (how old?).
Imagine your husband comes home late from work, would you sit down at the table with your husband, when he eats dinner even you already ate? You might nibble some or not....:)
It's not easy but you just need to explain. You can still cuddle with him, and show affection to each other.
Good luck!

I've been married for going on 16 years and have a 5yo. I work full time, take care of the house, and DH works long hours. When he returns home anywhere from 6pm-9pm, I am dead to the world--sometimes sleeping already. I DO NOT want sex; I want sleep. I have no sex drive either, but it's not due to birth control, as I haven't taken any for over 10 years. I'm just exhausted all of the time, and I don't like to be grabbed at either. I have told him numerous times how I feel, but it's as if he forgets all of the time. I want sex on the weekends, and he wants to catch up on his sleep on the weekends. When we take time for dates, it seems as if that's when we finally get around to having a conversation without being interrupted.

I know this lack of intimacy is putting a strain on our marriage, but how do we get on the same schedule at least a few times a month. I would love to hear others' suggestions.

What you are feeling is normal. I do think sex is important for a relationship and I feel that is how a man feels connected and loved.
Having said that....try to do it when the time is best for you, when you feel most rested.....the guy will usually jump at the chance any way.
- Get rest first, exercise later. Feeling rested is the most important thing you need right now w/the baby.
- Strive for twice a week if you can. It can change later to more if you can
- pick the time that is best for you
- have him do something for you to get you into the mood like oral sex for you!
- open a L. bit of dialogue to let you your hubby know you still care....you're just very tired. Not too much dialogue though.....men in general still don't like to talk and things can be over talked about sometimes. :)
- hang in there, do what you can, don't put yourself down, know you are not alone but also know that having sex if and when you can does tend to help couples in their relationships. I was in the same boat and when we weren't having sex....we were not doing well. Now that we are again....it is a whole different world.
-Oh and ask for what you need....a L. help with the baby, getting a bottle, can you pick up the baby from his crying crib right now etc. Good luck and hang in there. You're not alone!

Exhaustion and depletion can really wreak havoc on hormones... which, in turn, affects sex drive. And if you have no libido because of this sort of imbalance, it pretty much doesn't matter what he does... you are just not really interested. I find that there are certain times during my cycle that I am interested and certain times of day that I am more inclined to be interested. But the fact is that men are really very sex-driven. They really, really want it... almost always. I am trying to be more sensitive to that fact :) with varying degrees of success. One thing that helped me was acupuncture and chinese herbs. It is super hard to get enough recharge time when you have L. kids. We have been together 16 years and have 4 kids together.

Wow I feel the same way you do! Me and my boyfriend (father of both my kids) have been together almost 8 years, we have 2 kids (daughter 5 and son 3), I got Mirena about 3 years ago right after my son was born. I didn't think about it causing me to have no sex drive. I may have to bring that up to my doctor. I've been the same way with my boyfriend and he thinks that I dont want anything to do with him or I'm not attracted. I've sat down and talked to him about it , but maybe it does have something to do with the Mirena.

It very well could be the Mirena. It certainly contributed to a loss in libido for me. If you've had other side effects like inability to lose weight even while actively trying, acne, mood swings or hair loss - it 's even more likely the combination is caused by Mirena. For me, it was hard to identify for a long time since I just chalked up the side effects to having just had a baby. I had it removed after just under a year of having it. Almost seven months later, most of the side effects have gone away and I can't think of anything else it could have been except the birth control.
I don't know how old you are, but my OB/GYN said she's had a lot of patient complaints about Mirena and the complaints seem to increase in patients over 30. I was 33 when it was removed.

Is the Mirena "messing" with you in Other ways? i.e. Weight Gain, moodiness, acne?? I had mine taken out just about 2 months ago and Havent gotten my "Drive" back fully - but I can feel its getting closer ;-) LOL
Could be that!! good luck

I know what you mean about keeping a L. distance. My husband is the same way. If I just look at him, he's ready to head to the bedroom. I don't have anywhere near the sex drive that my husband has. If he had it his way, we would have sex every morning and every night. I am just not that into it. We have kind of come to an unspoken agreement. Morning sex is reserved for the weekends, maybe not both Sat and Sun, but at least one morning. We do not miss more than one night of sex; he acts like it kills him to go 2 nights, but we rarely have sex two nights in a row, and it is extremely rare for us to have sex three nights in a row. We've just kind of worked out kind of a "sex schedule" and it works for us.