Your Opinion on Where a 3 Year Old Sleeps....

The reason I am up at 4:30am is that I have a husband, a 6 yr. old,and a 3 yr. old sleeping in my bed...I was asleep most of the day not feeling well so I might not be in bed anyway. Anyway, if one of the kids get up in the middle of the night and want us we just let them crawl in bed with us. K, 6 yrs. old sleeps alone 99% of the time and J, 3 yrs. old, sleeps alone much more than 50% of the time. They seem to go in phases and they are both on antibiotics right now, K has a UTI and J has an ear infection, So, I want to be snuggled when I don't feel good, my husband wants total solitude when he is sick. The kids will sleep better and I'll know if they are running a fever again or restless and in pain.

Maybe she won't feel so lonely if she cuddles with her favorite stuffed animal. Or put a picture of you guys next to her bed too.

If you want to make it HER decision to get out of your bed, start 'squeezing' her. My MIL did this with my husband when he was 4ish. Kid is sleeping in the middle. Mom and dad start sleeping closer and closer to her until she's complaining about being squished, not having enough room. She'll tell you guys to scoot over and you'll reply "No room on my side ... no room on my side either. You're just growing sweetheart. You're becoming a big girl now, no room for the three of us in bed."

Just a suggestion. Good luck. THis is what I will be doing when/if my son starts to crawl into bed with us. He is 22 months now and has spent all 22 months of his life in his own bed.

There is not a darn thing wrong with sleeping with your child, if she gets up and comes to your room really why not let her crawl in bed and go to sleep. Then both of you are happy, she's with you and you or her don't get interupted sleep. I think it's a win/win. You really got to make up your own mind what your more comfortable with. This cituation is not going to tramatize your daughter no matter what you decide.

If you have room in your room then you could put a small pallet in there and tell her when she comes if she comes in your room she has to sleep there. This usually breaks them of it pretty quickly and if not then she'll still be sleeping in her "own" bed.

It sounds like you like her sleeping in her own bed. It is a phase. Both my kids did it too. They slept great as babies/toddlers. Then around age 3 or 4, they went through a brief phase where they would wake up at night and come to the side of our bed. I would do what you are doing... get up and walk them (not carry) back to their bed. They got back in and went back to sleep.
I tried to avoid lying down with them.. just stand by the bed or in the doorway. If they had a bad dream (which seems to peak around this time too), then I might lie down with them for a little... but otherwise.. just keep walking her back and she will stop soon enough.
On the occasions when I was just too exhausted to walk them back, I let them crawl in with me... but I never slept well when they were there and woke up even more tired. And it seemed to prolong the issue... Just keep walking her back. As little talking as is necessary and she'll be done soon.
Good luck.

We have a bad house for little ones, our room is downstairs and they are upstairs. Because of this, our son has a gate so he can't get out of his room without us knowing about it. I don't want him to be half asleep walking down stairs in the dark. Once our daughter is converted to a toddler bed we will do the same for her. The occasional times they call out for help, I go up and comfort them and put them back to bed.

Personally, I think kids need to sleep in their own beds. It's a personal preference though.

This is a situation that will worsen very soon. I went through this with my 2nd child (so far) and, in order to break the habit, I would take/send him back to bed any time he would come to my room. I do not recommend laying down with your child in her bedroom when this happens as that may be what she wants. She needs to learn to soothe herself to sleep and not have you with her in the middle of the night. Good luck!

~S.

This is all depends on your parenting style and how much attachment parenting you feel needs to be done. If there is a true need, then she may need that security of being with you guys. If it's just that she doesn't like being alone, a favorite doll or animal might provide some of that support. My daughter has a doll she sleeps with every night, just started this at 3 years and is nearing 3 and a half and she is sleeping great! Never cuddled a blanket or doll before, but she apparently needed or desired it at this age. She slept with us for the first 2 years and then her tossing and turning made sleep pretty miserable. Then we put her in a bed of her own but in our room. When her twin brother and sister were coming soon, we moved her to her room so she would sleep better when we were up all night with the new babies. She transitioned extremely well! But I believe it's because we met those security needs early on. She does well with waiting until it's light outside and then comes in to snuggle with me and the babies. So she feels welcome, but there are set boundaries since there is no way 5 people are fitting in our queen size bed! Even the babies spend half the night in their own bed in our room. It's just what works for us. Hopefully some of what we did may help you figure out what works/doesn't work for you and your family. Sounds like your daughter is happy and well adjusted, just needs to either learn to self-soothe to go back to sleep or may need some more closeness with mom and/or dad.

My four year old does that sometimes. He used to do it every night, but we would take him back to his own bed. I think he will eventually grow out of it. I've heard other people suggest putting a blanket and pillow on the floor next to your bed. If we still had a problem, it's what I would do.
I think he just gets lonely. Wouldn't you get lonely if you had to sleep alone after spending the day around people who you love/love you?

My 3 year old does this also but she's getting to the point where she doesn't even get up if she wakes up she will yell for me to turn the hall light on again which we have it on for her to go to sleep and she has a night light but if she does come into our room my husband tought her to bring her pillow and blanket and she will just lay down next to our bed and go back to sleep.

I am so guilty of letting my 3 year old sleep with me. We tried to get her a toddler bed and she slept in it for all of a week and I figured it was because the bed wasn't really comfortable so we let her come in our room and that was almost a year and a half ago and now she does it as a routine. I enjoy sleeping with her most nights because she's the youngest and I miss having babies in the house but there are other nights where I am not in the mood. We walk her back to her room and she's in there with her sister so it's all the more reason she should stay in her room.

I think if you don't want to start a habit like we have then the best thing to do is to reward her for staying in her bed, like give her a extra snack the next day or maybe buy her a toy at the end of the week if she can stay in her bed all week long. I think the babies have to feel like them staying in their bed is a good thing. It'll be harder for my husband and I since we've allowed her to do it for a year but we will try the reward system and see if that works.