Our triplets are now 5 1/2 months old but supposedly act like babies that are 2 1/2 months old due to having been born so early. It has been so long since I have been around babies that I am not sure how a 2 1/2 month old is supposed to act or what they are supposed to be doing. I was told by the nurse practitioner at the NICU's follow-up clinic last month that our little ones are not mature enough neurologically to be able to handle learning to calm themselves yet, and I believe it. They are also now to the point where when one gets upset, he or she can easily upset the other two. It seems like they are always fussy except when they are actually sleeping at night. They still do not sleep clear through the night yet. When they get fussy, I've tried about everything I can think of from giving them a pacifier (which they still are not coordinated enough to keep in their mouths or get mad and purposely spit them out), making sure their diapers are clean and dry, making sure they are not hungry, making sure they are not too hot or cold, seeing if they want to be social with their siblings, and anything else I can think of at the time. They still get overstimulated pretty easily, which makes them even fussier. Much of our days and evenings are spent in their room trying to figure out why they are fussing and what we can do to fix it. Has anyone else experienced this? I would love to read some of the books suggested, but I can't get any books read when I am going between three cribs calming babies down and still trying to get some hold time in for each of them. I don't know if they are even ready to work on getting them to sleep through the night yet or not. They can generally go between 5 and 6 hours one time through the night between feedings, but then they are back on track for every four hours. I can sometimes actually hear their little tummies growling when they cry because they are hungry. We already put cereal in every bottle to help with refulx issues and are on medication for reflux. There are times where they smile and will talk when I am right there talking to them, so the grumpiness is not 100% of the time. I have noticed all three of them drooling, but I can find no evidence of swollen gums and Ambesol doesn't seem to make them any less grumpy.
Tonight was especially rough. All three were crying so very hard and so upset that one of the girls set off her apnea monitor with a high heart rate. I would take turns holding and comforting each one and would get them to quiet down until I laid them back down in bed. While I was holding one I was going back and forth between the other two cribs trying to comfort them too. It seems as if they are getting worse with the fussiness instead of better. My heart is just completely broken now for all three of them. They don't seem to be sleeping as sound or napping as well throughout the day either according to my husband who has been home with them while I work.
Any suggestions or help would be much appreciated as it is getting harder and harder to be productive at work every day being so exhausted. Maybe I am just being impatient and they will outgrow this. Thanks.
Sorry it has taken me so long to post a response to all of you. First of all, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to respond with suggestions and encouragement. It is nice to know we are not alone in having fussy babies and to know it is a stage and temporary. I truly appreciate all of the kind words, suggestions, and encouragement from all of you. Thank you also to those of you who gave me the shortened versions of books. Those are things I will be trying. If you want to see pictures or follow our progress, I post a couple of times a week at www.caringbridge.org/visit/carlacastle.
We have already been down the road of changing and trying formulas ranging from soy to the expensive Nutramigen, Sensitive, and others. The neonatologist at the NICU steered us away from the versions where the protein was already broken down because our little ones were passing it through too quickly and not absorbing any of the proteins. We ended up back on the Neosure with cereal added. Between that and the Prevacid, the reflux is a lot more tolerable than it has been. Our trio doesn’t seem to be as uncomfortable as they were. They do still spit up, have wet burps, and sometimes throw up quite a bit of their bottle from the reflux, but they don’t seem to feel as bad as they did. We were propping them up in bouncy seats to sleep, but they grew to dislike their bouncy seats after a while. The only thing I can think of is relating them to the horrible reflux feelings. We now sleep them in their boppy pillows to keep them propped up. They seem to be ok in those for now. Our little ones have not yet grown to enjoy the swings. Hopefully they will like those someday soon. Car rides also do not sooth them like the old wives tale says it should.
I do know that part of their problem is gas. The Mylecon gas drops do not help at all. If anything, they seem to upset our little ones tummies when I try to use them. We are not yet on baby food, so I don’t know if that will make a difference or not.
Our little ones sleep a lot on their sides. We have to rotate their sleeping positions often because their little heads are still forming. We have had to concentrate on getting rid of flat spots already. None of the three like their tummies. The tummy time we give them is a struggle. That is amazing to me too because their favorite position was their tummy in the NICU.
We have not co-bedded them since they were born. They were in their own isolettes for so long that they got used to sleeping on their own and do much better that way. We have also heard that there are higher chances of SIDS for multiples who are co-bedded. I can see why after giving them time to lay together in the same crib to play. They do move and get into each other’s way pretty easily and are unable to move themselves back. They do all three sleep in the same room, but they each have their own crib. We do give them awake/play time together so they can get to know each other better.
I have not had the opportunity to put any of our little ones in a sling or snuggly to carry them close because we have too many wires coming off them for the oxygen and monitors. I’m afraid I would get something wrapped around a limb or body part and cause more harm than good. Hopefully we are nearing the end of these limitations though.
Our little trio was not fond of music at first. They used to get even more upset when I tried to play music for them, so I stopped for a while. I am guessing that leads back to the over stimulation issues. They have grown to like music now. I have one CD that I can play that is lullabies by piano that makes them relax pretty quickly.
I have thought of chiropractic as an option and know many of them in our area. I have been a little hesitant knowing that our little Abigail is prone to seizures that we don’t yet know what has triggered them. She had them while in the NICU and has been seizure free since being home, but she is also on medication for them.
We continue to have a lot of changes going on. Our little ones are currently on 1/8 liter of oxygen. The doctor has given us the go ahead to start weaning them off. We take them off the oxygen for one hour at a time three times a day and have to keep an eye on them. We also check their oxygen saturation levels at the end of the hour. So far they have all ranged between 97 and 100 after an hour without oxygen. I am anxious to see what step our pediatrician will take next. They are definitely ready to get rid of the nasal canulas and tape as they are constantly pulling them off their faces. They are probably without oxygen for more than we realize since they are so eager to pull their canulas off.
We are also participating in the Early Access program offered by our public school system that will follow us and watch for potential development issues. Our program goes from birth to 21 years of age. We took the month of March off due to the high volume of illness out there. We wanted to give our little ones a fighting chance to stay healthy and get rid of the oxygen sooner than later, so we have been very particular about who comes over to our house. That has also put limitations on the help we could have. To the two of us, it was more important to keep our little ones healthy through the sick season and take care of them ourselves than to bring others in just to give us a break and risk our trio getting sick. Other triplets born at the same time ours were have had to go back into the hospital because of getting sick. They were born at a later gestation period and released from the NICU without the oxygen and monitors that we have. Knock on wood; our efforts have paid off so far. The most our little ones have gotten is a stuffy nose and some drainage from those stuffy noses. Once the sick season is over and our little ones are much stronger health wise, it will be easier to allow others to come in and help us. Grandparents have been very helpful so far when they are healthy, but we even ask them to stay away when they are sick (which both sets currently are). I have not yet connected with my new church family as I changed churches while pregnant (the church I was going to ended up closing for lack of attendees) and didn’t have much of an opportunity to go before delivering.
I am a member of our local Mothers of Multiples Club and have met several other triplet moms through friends of friends. All have been great at giving me advice and being supportive. It is amazing though that each set of triplets have very unique circumstances. No set of multiples has been alike yet.
We seem to be doing a little better most days or most hours of most days. The fussiness doesn’t seem to be quite as bad as it was. Our little ones went through some transition with me going back to work full time in mid-February and their daddy going back to work full time in mid-March. So far we have been able to juggle our schedules so that one of the two of us is home with them and not needing to hire childcare. We are in the process of interviewing some individuals to provide childcare for us when our schedules do not warrant at least one of us being home. We do still have almost every evening home as a family too as my husband works most of his hours on the weekends, and my job is a Monday through Friday 8 to 4:30 job.
I will definitely be looking into more music and white noise options to help us out. Our pediatrician is a very good one who has lots of experience with multiples and preemies. We are lucky to have him as our doctor.
I know this is long, but I wanted to address as many of the comments and suggestions as possible since I did receive so many. Thank you again for taking the time to try to help us out. I will be using a lot of your suggestions and will keep in mind all your kind words and encouragement.
I don't have any experience with multiples and I don't know if there are any safety issues with this idea, but have you considered letting the babies all sleep together? I had heard that some people of twins let them be in the same crib and they get much better rest and seem more content.
Maybe they would be happier if they were all in the same crib together. That is what they were used to before they were born. You could try putting something that smells like you in bed with them, to help comfort them.
Hope this helps,
J.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. This too will pass so stay positive :o)
Have you tried putting them all in a crib together? Apparently they love being together like they were in the womb. I saw them do it on tv with quintuplets that were in the NICU. Their heart rates went down and they gained more weight.
Hope this helps,
J.
Mom to 4 and soon one more through another adoption.
Hi C. - I am also the mother of triples. My two boys and one girl are now 4 1/2 years old. I can't tell you it gets easier I can just tell you it is a different hard and different easier. Our one son experienced severe acid reflux and all three never all slept through the night until they were 3 years old. We tried a lot of changing formulas to changing where they slept. For the first 5 months they all 3 slept together in a play pen and then in a crib. However, Drew continued to wake everyone up so we split him up and he slept in the living room while the other two slept in cribs in a different room. It helped a lot. We also did the one thing people tell you not to do which is to put them in a bouncy chair or swing at night. We did because we needed to sleep too. Nursing and trying to sleep was hard and something had to give. We loved the bouncy chairs that played music. We put Drew in there and he would calm down and then slowly fall asleep. We tried everything. What ever we did it worked because he is now our best sleeper. They all three loved music and noise and lights. Why - after being in the NICU for only 11 and 14 days they liked noise and lights. Try it if you have not already done so. Also, call your local high school/church and ask for a few volunteers. My babies loved seeing other people. They got tired of me and my way of doing things. They liked the variety of people and they were actually better on the days we had visitors. Good Luck and just know that the difficulties now will become different soon and you will wonder what happened to those days.
Wow, sounds like you are really working hard. Keep up the good work! (I have twins born in Jan, so can relate a little bit!)
I would highly recommend the book or DVD (about 45 mins) called the happiest baby on the block. It shows you how to do 5 things to trigger the baby's "calming reflex" to calm a fussing baby. Here's the cliff notes version:
1. Swaddle them snuggly - including arms.
2. Position them on their side or stomach when holding them - sort of like you'd hold a baby to nurse, only facing out instead of toward your body.
3. Put them in a swing (swaddled). Or, while swaddled and holding them on their side, jiggle them a little bit (think of what the movement would have been like in utero)
4. Make a loud shushing-ing noise right up close to their ears - or turn on the vaccuum or a white noise machine.
5. Give them something to suck on (we have the same problem with the pacis falling out - so I give them my pinky a lot).
More info here:http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/
Good luck!
It must be completely overwhelming to have three babies at one time! I would like to start by awarding you the Heroic Mom of the Year! You and your husband will be busy indeed for many years to come - and every single hour of every single one of those years.
One fussy child is a lot of work - three must be hell. Here is the trick: There is a little-known remedy you can find a Whole Foods, health food stores or Food co-ops called "Rescue Remedy". It is a great remedy for fussy babies. Put four drops in their bottles (I am guessing you are not breast feeding them?) with some water.
1. Babies DO need water. A little bit of water every day will give them something pure to drink that simply quenches their thirst.
2. If they won't drink water - which will tell you they don't like it yet - put the drops in their milk.
Rescue Remedy does not have a flavor and is completely non-toxic and safe. Since I've had babies, I've never been without it. Later on it's great for when they hurt themselves and cannot stop crying or for those children who cry easily or are inconsolable.
Get yourself some help during the day, C., so you can have a break. I do not envy you your role as a mother of triplets. It is three times the work - unbelievable!
Hi C.,
I know this is medically a "no-no", but my daughter had bad reflux even with medication and she would have done the same thing, but we decided to let her sleep on her tummy....I've had other friends who there babies couldn't get comfortable on there backs either and once on their tummies they slept like angels. We didn't tell our doctor for fear of getting chewed out, but more people try it then you know. You could try it starting at nap time first, or just for a few nights and if it doesn't help nothing gained, nothing lost.
Every baby likes different styles of pacifiers. That said you might want to try a couple different kinds.
Finally, my mom helped a neighbor out with her triplets and they let them sleep in the same crib for a while to help the babies stay calmer. Just a thought!
Don't be afraid to ask moms, grandmas, friends and neighbors to help out- you need to rest up too sometimes.
One more thing on the reflux, cereal didn't help my girl. We just let her eat as much as she could and kept a SLEEP(nap), wake to EAT, and then PLAY routine to promote proper eating and sleeping habits. Obviously, when she woke at night it was eat and back to bed! ;0) Good luck, dear! I hope things turn a corner soon! M.
Congratulations on your triplets. I had two fussy babies, but not at the same time, so I really feel for you. 2 1/2 months, their adjusted age, IS a prime time for fussiness so hopefully it will improve soon. I second those who recommended white noise. My younger son spent his first six months sleeping with a tape of white noise playing. If you don't want to provide the white noise there are CDs available. Good luck!
HI. I do not know if this will help you or not. I found a website sponsored by the March of Dimes. It is www.shareyourstory.org. You can share your story or start blog. They are a lot of of moms that could give you advice on what they did for their premature children.
S.
Hi C. first off you are a very caring mom with a big heart my twins were born premature also. You are doing all you can my girls are almost 5 and still have delays I remember those sleepless nights and what you are going threw now is normal they are so close with each others needs when one of my girls would cry like that the other would get just as upset they share a special bond. One thing that I did that helped is I would sing to them to try to calm them down and a friend bought me a fisher price toy that made shapes on the ceiling that seemed to calm them down sometimes. as far as the teething goes my girls got there teeth early but they did not come up for a month or two but the age your darlings are at is the time they got fussy with it. Just remember you are doing all you can and you and your husband will eventually get sleep the first year is the hardest but it will get better i promise. And with the delays do not worry they have excellent programs threw the state that will help you get them to the level they need to be for there age. If you ever want to email me to vent or have questions I am there for you. Take care.
My friend has twins that are very fussy and what gets her through day to day is reminding herself that this is temporary. I can not imagine how exhausted you are but it sounds like you are doing a great job. Have you considered taking them to a chiropractor or craniosacral therapist? Many chiro's see infants and they are so very gentle. Some make house calls with special situations like your's. You would be amazed at how much it can help. I was going to suggest gas drops if it seems like gas. Have you tried the swaddling and then placing them close together? I am just writing whatever comes to mind here. Do you have any family or friends that can come over and rock them? It sounds like you are exhausted and my heart goes out to you. Remember, this is all temporary and they will be crawling around before you know it. Good Luck!
Yours is a special situation because your babies were premature, but my experience has been with full term babies that they eat every 3 hours during the day. Maybe they're fussy because they're hungry? Most babies won't sleep through the night until they double their birth weight. Yours were probably small, so they'll more than likely need to more than double their birth weight before they'll sleep through the night. Your doctor would have good advise on this if he/she knows about preemies. My favorite book for planning feeding and sleeping routines is Babywise. It would be a good resource for you.
Do you have help from family or church family? Three infants is more than a handful. They are a blessing, but you need an extra pair of hands sometimes, not to mention a break!
Hello. Do you have baby swings? The steady rocking can be soothing. How about swaddling them? Wrap them snuggly in a baby blanket. Their used to having their siblings right next to them, maybe lying them close together in the crib. Hopefully they will outgrow this. Have you discussed this with their pediatrician? M
Cara, first and foremost, congratulations on your triplets!!! And having them at home!!!! I too am the proud mother of triplets, born at 29 weeks. Two identical boys and a girl. They are now 20 months old. I remember the days when mine were so young and it was so hectic. It sounds like you are doing everything you can (and everything that I did too). It is very, very, very hard now but it passes so quick and gets so much easier. My husband and I took "shifts" sleeping. I tried to take the 9 p.m. to midnight and he took the midnight to 5:00 a.m. shift, then he'd go to work. I stayed home with them. Boy the sleep deprevation is awful. What got us through was letting others help us out. Everyone LOVES babies. If somone offers to come over and help watch so you can get a nap, take them up on it. Your babies can sense when you get over-stressed. Mommy needs a break. Being in the NICU is one thing, being at home is quite another. Do you have family and friends close? How about a church family? The hardest part for us was to "allow" others to help us. Because we'd always been so self sufficient. But you have to do it for your babies. My little girl had the acid reflex so bad, we tried everything, elevating the crib, changing formulas, sleeping in the car seats in their beds so they were elevated. She finally started doing better when we switched formulas. If you think something is wrong you must really push it was the peditrician. Mother's just know. I actually ended up seeing somone else (Dr. Gary Gray) and he recommended a different formula that basically had all the proteins broken down. Then, she was able to digest it and felt so much better and was so much happier. Both our boys came home on oxygen too and apnea monitors. So I know just what you are going through. Then there are the doctor's appointments, hauling all that stuff. Having to dress them up so well cause it's winter. But let me tell you, it is ALL WORTH IT! Soon they'll be scooting, the crawling, pulling themselves up and entertaining themselves. And it will help too with summer coming. You can get them outside in the fresh air. I started a blog when the babies were first born if you'd like to look at it. You may find some things on there that I am just forgetting. Click on year 2006. Best of luck to you. Leave me a comment on the blog if you'd like to talk via phone. www.thirtylittlefingersandtoes.blogspot.com
Hi C.,
Let me start by saying, what an unbelieveable job you have of raising triplets. One new child alone is a huge challenge----I can't imagine what you and your family are experiencing. And I hope you are getting some hands on support along the way and time to yourself somewhere.
I have one daughter and am pregnant with our second. As I read your comments, a couple things came to mind. Our daughter was pretty fussy past the 3 months mark that is usually the most difficult. And we were greatly helped by suggestions from Dr. Harvey Karp's book/DVD---The Happiest Baby on the Block. Ignore the cheesy title----it was really helpful in preparing us and giving us real tools that made a difference. Since you mentioned not have time for reading, I'll sum up the big points----basically he recommends mimicing womb-like sensations for them and calls the first 3 months, the 4th trimester. In a sense, most babies (especially those in multiple births or premature) would benefit from "staying in" longer.
So here's the main mimic ideas-----tight swaddling with arms down (this was the greatest help to our daughter for increasing her nighttime sleeping and general calming), relatively loud white noise through machines (hair dryers, white noise makers, TV's on static) or just making a mildly loud shhhhhhh sound close to their ears, jiggling or swinging, putting them on their side or stomach and sucking (you mentioned they weren't physically able yet, but perhaps down the road) on pacifiers, nipples, fingers, etc. And often times a combination of the 5 ideas all at the same time, until you hit the combo that works best for your child.
I know your situation is drastically different than mine, but these techniques may still be very helpful. I have both the book and DVD, which is a quick to watch and gives you all you need to know from the book. I would be happy to let you borrow them both if you like. If you are interested, just email me: ____@____.com and I will mail them your way.
I also looked online at Dr. Karp's website and found that there are local individuals trained in teaching his techniques in the area. I copied the list below for you.
Minneapolis
Terry Bergstrom
Childrens Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
###-###-####
____@____.com
www.childrensmn.org
Kimberly Myhre
Childrens Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
###-###-####
____@____.com
www.childrensmn.org
Andrea Meyer
Baby Steps
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55427
###-###-####
____@____.com
Wayzata
Zoe Vaughter
Healing Bodywork Group
Wayzata, Minnesota 55391
###-###-####
____@____.com
I hope you are able to find some suggestions through your responses that help. Best of luck.
C.
First of all, congratulations on your tremendous blessing! While I don't have advice on triplets, as I haven't been around infants for 18 yrs., I did want to let you know that there are parent of triplets support groups. You can contact the National Org. of Mothers of Twins Clubs (www.nomotc.org)and they can put you in touch with other moms in your area who have had triplets and who really have an understanding of what is going on with them. Good luck to you!
My daughter was a preemie too. She was fine til she hit about 2mos.old and all of a sudden wasn't happy at night, cranky, a little bear. I actually had to get my neighbor to help. She swadled her like a newborn and proped up her crib and wabam my daughter was happy. My daughter also had reflux so propping the crib helped.
I don't have experience with Triplets, but the first thing that comes to mind to help with relaxation....soundtherapy.
soft music, a bear that has a heartbeat and reminds them of the womb, or a fisher price aquarium to hang on the side of the crib,...sounds are definately worth a try.
Good luck
Hi C.,
I don't have any experience with 3 at once, but I want to send you a big hug ((((C.))))!!!
Are they big enough for swings yet? My youngest son used to love to swing and swing. He was born only one month early, but was fussy most of the time unless in the swing or car.
Best of luck to you. Someone will be along who can help you better.
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I feel for you, C....
I had twins born at 28 weeks gestation and then later another son born at 23 weeks gestation. I know the monitor and oxygen are extremely challenging; my youngest was on it until he was over 2 years old.
Premature babies (especially ones born as early as ours) have so many extra little physical and mental problems to deal with; it can be frustrating!
I am wondering if you've spoken to their pediatrician about this problem and seeing if there could be something else going on besides reflux. Are they pooping regularly?
Perhaps just time is what it will take...
If you would like to talk, my email is ____@____.com luck to you and congratulations on your three healthy angels!
Hi C.-
I have twin boys that were born at 33 weeks and on apnea monitors. I found that putting them in the same crib laying next to eachother helped alot. Even though the were premature they were sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old which wasn't the corrected age. I then had them sleeping in the same crib until almost 6/7 months old. I know that it may not be the same situation. But remember they were together in your stomach for 26 weeks and they may need that comfort of feeling eachother there in the same crib. I wish you nothing but the best it will definately get easier. Mine twins are 18 months old already and it's seems like just yesterday that they fit in the palm of our hand and in the NICU.
J.
I am a grandma who can hear your plea. I think you and your husband need help with those babies. Is there a family member, a friend, a neighbor who can come over to help on a regular basis? Fussy babies can wear one down. Please try to get help!
Grandma Joanie
My baby (who's now 17 months!) was very fussy. When i see other babies I realize that not ALL babies are as fussy as Mya was. I breastfed exclusively, and now that I look back, I think that she MUST have been having some digestion issues and allergies to food I was eating (through my milk), espically because as she was introduced to solids she had some very strange (but semi-serious) food "intolerances" - she could not have any grains (rice, oat, wheat) or she would throw up for hours. So my suggestion is: look into what your babies are eating, and try a different formula and see if they are any better, if not, try another different formula. She/they may have an allergy to cows milk or something, and almost all formulas have some in them. Ask your pediatrician to HELP you figure this out! Sometimes it seems they just stick them on reflux meds automatically and then say "well she's just a fussy baby" but if this is the case, I would get another ped. who does a little more investigative work to see if there is indeed an issue.
We tried everything to calm her, walking, bouncing (sit on an exercise ball and bounce) rocking, and one thing that we finally found was the vacuum cleaner! she loved the white noise! we had it on so much we burned out the motor! and then we found a CD that had "the hoover hustler" on it and we would just put that on repeat and she calmed down immediately. The CD is called "Grandma's fussbuster" - here is a link -
http://cdbaby.com/cd/fussbuster
give it a try, i hope it works!
I also wanted to say that I can only imagine how hard it is to have THREE fussy babies! I know I was constantly wondering 'what am i doing wrong?!' and was SO worried that she was hurting in some way. I hope you have a large support system, and I hope you understand that it's NOT you.
My baby is now a VERY happy healthy toddler. She has just recently outgrown her food intolerances! I want to give you encouragement that IT DOES GET BETTER. Now that I look back at those LONG LONG nights of crying (both me and her haha) I am glad I just kept on giving her the one thing that I could, LOTS OF LOVE AND COMFORT.
GOOD LUCK to you, I hope things get better soon. Remember that it is ok to ask for help from your support system, your doctors, even other moms. In fact, with triplets I think it is expected! My heart goes out to you (i know how hard it is to be away from your baby when they are unhappy, AND work while SO tired!) contact me if there is anything i can do to help.
Ali
Hi C.- I am so sorry to hear all the crankyness going on at your house!!! Now, I am no expert since I only have one baby at a time, but I can try to give you tips that worked for me. Co-sleeping seemed to be the only cure for the running from room to room-can all babys be in the same bed? During the day have you tried wearing your babys- there are great websites for baby wearing and there are some for multiples. Also, the book, HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK was alife saver!!! He explains that babys need longer in the womb to happy on the outside and gives tips on how to make a womb like environment outside of the body. Things will get better and you will survive this-just bits of our heart will be torn out and put back together so be ready!
Every state has to provide early intervention services for children under three. I'd be surprised if your little ones wouldn't qualify given their prematurity and the fact that multiples are at risk for delays. In our state your triplets would have automatically qualified for service and you would have been enrolled while still in the NICU! Then you could get the help you need with your babes. It is supposed to be home based service and is usually free to the families. If they are having trouble keeping a pacifier in their mouth and are drooling a lot that can point to weakness in their mouth. Gooind outgle "early intervention and the name of your state to find out who to contact.
Have you tried seperating the babies a bit....infant seats or safe places for a nap ...so that they are less likely to upset each other.
I know with premies that I have cared for that we used to rub their cheeks to help them learn to suck those pacifiers ..it seems it was a natural reflex when we did so for them to pucker up and suck reflexively.
Babies will also feed on your stress level....and I know that can be overwhelming when they are all fussing at one time. And baby fussing can be a natural part of any childs developement as they grow. I suggest discussing the amount of fussing that would be acceptable for your young ones with your pediatrician. She'll probably have some great ideas for you to try.
My heart goes out to you. I'm the mom of 3 year old twins and a 5 year old son, and I can't even imagine how much harder triplets would have been. I think you are doing everything you possibly can. I think with the lack of sleep, though, you might get really burned out. You and your husband are doing an amazing job just getting through the days and nights. The biggest suggestion I can offer is try to get regularly scheduled help - even just for you and your husband to catch up on sleep or get out for a quick bite. You can even stay in with a sitter if you worry about leaving the kids. We weren't good about doing that, and it would have made life better. I wish we would have looked for support from church, friends, babysitters, etc. We tried to do it all on our own.
When you get a chance, you might try to join a group of other moms of multiples, because even as your kids get older, they will really 'get' the unique challenges you will face. (Even silly things like you can't fit all 3 car carrier seats in the grocery cart if you want to pick up some groceries.) They've had great advice for me - for example, pitchers of formula in the frig at night, little refrigerator right in the bedroom, warm up formula in the crockpot, etc.
Lastly, some people were saying put them in bed together. That's dangerous. Once they start to move around, they could suffocate each other.
1st you sound like you both are doing an amazing job. Having one at a time was hard enough on me.
2nd, have you tried changing the formula you use? Are they on baby food? Gas drops work wonders. I know that Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE) offers classes for multiples and they could also help you get set up with other programs.
Good Luck and just know you will get through this. Every stage has a silver lining (the ending).
Hi
My name is M. I have a daughter that was born at 28 weeks 4 days. She was also brought home on oxygen and apnea monitor. I was worried about her development also. Through the school district there is a program for preemies from early childhood development called the birth to 3 program. She has someone come to the house once a week to work with her to make sure she is developing on track and they give you suggestions on ways to help them. I live in Minnesota I dont know if you have this avalible for you where you live but I would check it out. It is a very helpful program and it gives you a peace of mind that they are developing on track. My daughter is 11 months old now and is developmentally on track. When we were in the NICU they gave my daughter a pacifier that worked good for her they have preemie sizes and newborn sizes you can only get them online at gumdrop.com but they work real good If you get one there I would go for the newborn size. I wish you luck I know you must be very busy with all three of your babies it is hard to take care of one preemie I cant imagine three. As far as the sleeping through the night my daughter still gets up in the middle of the night to eat. So I dont know what will help you there I do know that she slept better on her stomach and since she had the sleep apnea monitor and was on oxygen I was not worried about her sleeping on her stomach I know they say she should sleep on her back but it was the only way she slept good. My daughter has been off of the oxygen and monitors since she was 6 months old.
M.
Sounds like normal babies for their age and adjusted age, only you get it times three. It probably wouldn't feel like so much, but you have 3 of them doing it thus its totally magnified. I hope you can get a break soon.
Hi C.,
I feel some of your pain. My daughter (Bergen) was also on O2 for the first 6 weeks because of meconium aspiration. The O2 supply company only brought us one tank initially but when I asked for an additional tank for upstairs for while she was sleeping they were very agreeable to help us out. How many liters/hour are they are on? We also had a 25 ft. length of tubing that we would transfer from one tank to another. You might think about bringing them out of their room and stimulating them to their 'home' surroundings. Bergen was also quite upset that she had to have the nasal canula attached to her face with those damn little stickers and one night she actually pulled so hard on the canula that she ripped it off her face and she had never been happier! I know how hard it can be to carry not only your child but also the cordage that comes with them. Some things that you might be able to cut out as far as noise in the home goes....turn down the ringer on your phone, in your living area, to off but leave another phone in your house 'on' so that you can hear when someone is calling. Put a sign by the doorbell to not ring and only knock. Send out a mass email to 'your people' to ask for help. You'll be amazed by how much people want to help they just don't know what to do. By that I mean, people on a schedule to come over and hold, feed, and/or change a baby. I had to do this while Bergen was in the NICU. Make a dinner schedule by the month and grocery shop for the major things all at once leaving only the fresh, perishable things to be picked up at a later time and have it laid out so that a friend/volunteer can put it together for you when they are at your house. I can also bet that the babies are tired of lying on their backs and would like to be propped up and put in different positions...a bouncy chair, a boppy pillow, propped on their side and looking into a mirror or a book that has been propped open. Good Luck and I'll be looking to see what you decide to do.
-C.
My boy/girl twins are 7 years old now. When they were born, I nursed them for 5 months, but when I stopped they got fussy and constipated. My pediatrician switched us to soy formula and it worked wonders. When they turned a year, I thought they would need soy milk, but they didn't. I think it's gentler on their tummies than regular formula. She also suggested teething tablets for their swollen gums and it worked wonders. They are homeopathic and not addictive. I have them regularly when they were teething and they were never fussy. They're available at WalMart & Target in the vitamin isle. My twins also loved to have music or Baby Enstein playing (mostly for the music). It seems to calm them too. My daughter was also fussy for her sleep and she only slept on her tummy. My pediatrician said make sure nothing else is in her crib and let her sleep on her tummy if that's what works. She said it might help her push out the gas. It's nerve wracking as a mother to let your child sleep on her tummy but she said as long as there is nothing in her crib and it's a hard mattress, she should be fine.
Also, I joined a local Mothers of Multiples club and it was very helpful and supportive. It's hard for a parent of single children to understand what it's like to raise multiples.
WOW - you're incredible. I didn't get a chance to read all the posts, but I'm wondering if chiropractic care might help your little ones? I took my baby at 6 weeks and it was like I had a whole new little girl. The doc is SO gentle (no "cracking" involved at all - more like a little massage). I was a little scared of it, but my trusted friend suggested it and I'm SO GLAD she did. We had the best appt and it worked wonders.
Good luck to you! Hope this helps!
My heart is breaking for all of you! We have twin girls (now 10 months old) and we had it rough early on, too. Some things we tried that really helped: they slept in their bouncy seats for a couple of months. Also, we switched to a new formula, Nutramigen made by Enfamil. Our doctor called it "liquid gold"--I'm not sure if the name comes from how well it works, or from how expensive it was :). It was painful to pay that much for formula, but it worked wonders! Besides, we only had to use it for a few months. The proteins are all broken down for them, so it's easier to process. Also, if you have room, I recommend separating the kids at least for a little while. We utilized a Pack N Play once the girls were a little older so that they could get some good, quality sleep without being interrupted by her sister.
I want to make one quick additional note: I see some people suggested putting all three in the same crib. Just to let you know, the nurses at the NICU we were at recommended never putting the kids together. Evidently there have been some recent studies showing that multiples are able to suffocate their siblings while in the same crib. It's especially dangerous when they're tiny and aren't strong enough to move on their own.
I wish you luck and lots of sleep. Hopefully they'll outgrow this stage soon. I certainly never thought I'd be getting sleep, but it has gotten much better! Please email me if you'd like to discuss anything!
Dear C. - I am a mother of four and mine are beginning to head off to college. I just happened to read your e-mail and wanted to reassure you that these crazy days will pass - but the most important thing is not trying to change what can't be changed but to do what needs to be done to keep you and your husband healthy and happy. You can't change that your babies aren't sleeping. You can change your worry and emotions around it. Hold them. Feel your own body soften and melt into reassurance to yourself and to them that all is well in the world. That the baby you are holding is just tiny and experiencing what she or he needs to be experiencing right now in this moment of their life and that you are too. Their crying is part of their journey at this moment. All is well. Meditate calmness, quiet. They will learn from you. Cherish this rough ride as much as the calm moments - they are all a part of your life canvas. Your life is art and at this moment it's very expressive and exhausting.
Get help from others. You need time alone. Your husband needs time alone. And you both need time with each other. Identify one thing you commit to doing each week just for you. Replenish your energy so you can be more present for your children.
Know that there are many mothers in this world who've been right where you are and that their wisdom and support is out there. Your babies will sleep and soon they will be running around and playing chase and other fun games with you. Enjoy every stage. Peace. Namaste.
Hang in there, C.. You are experiencing very normal issues, but X3. You are doing nothing wrong, but you sound very exhausted! First of all, you will get through this. I cannot speak to having 3 at once, or even having a premie. The only thing I can relate to is the reflux, which nearly zapped me with one full term infant. I hope you are trying all the tricks to combat reflux. But certainly keep in mind that the stomach contents of your infants are probably becoming more acidic, so if they are experiencing reflux, it is more unpleasant for them than it had been before. I have had 2/4 with this problem, and I remember how sad I was to see the perpetual frown on their faces. Maybe talk with your doctor about what else you can be doing to address this problem. And by the way, 5-6 hours of sleep at their age is GREAT. I would not expect more yet.
My twins are 7 years old now, but I don't think 2 1/2 month old babies do much yet. Mostly just eat and sleep. Preemies can get over stimulated very easily. You might try some white noise in their room, such as a fan. A cd of soothing music may also help. My twins loved their swings, but I'm not sure if that will work with apnea monitors. A vibrating bouncy seat may help. They may also be cranky due to the reflux. Keeping them sitting up in a bouncy seat or car seat after feedings may help with this. We also let them sleep in their carseats placed in their cribs. That way, we didn't have to elevate the head of the crib. You will get through this, the exhaustion does get better. There were times, I would just sit and cry with my twins when they were babies, and I was just overwhelmed. Watch out for post partum depression. It can start up to a year after giving birth, especially to a mom of multiples. Your doctor can prescribe medicine if it gets in the way. It worked for me. Good luck!!!!!
The book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" saved me! My son screamed from the moment he was born due to acid reflux (GERD) and has been on medication since birth. I found that in addition to calming the acid reflux that SWADLING made a huge difference. Between swadling and loud "shushing" we found a very happy child inside a very crabby exterior :)
Hang in there!
Hi, My 3rd and 4th child are twins. With multiples, you never get a break. The work is constant. You must be exhausted.
One of my twins had reflux. He was refluxing stomach acid into his lungs. He was very cranky from the discomfort. Tell tale sound for him was very loud breathing and projectile reflux. Interestingly, his oxygen levels were normal and pediatricians couldn't hear any wheezing. A pediatric pulmonologist diagnosed it.
Could they have gas? Could it be the kind of formula they are on? Are they able to eat more solids before bedtime? Does swaddling work?
Have you tried swings? You can get the kind that can go side-to-side, which is supposed to be more calming and works better for babies with colic. Sometimes the swing was the only thing that could calm my boys down.
I don't have any experience with preemies or triplets, but those are some of the thoughts that popped into my head as I was reading your post.
