Young Marriage

I met my husband when I was 19. We got married when we were 21. We have now been married for 9 years. He is my best friend and I love him SO much! I really can't imagine life with out him.

My parents got married when my mom was 16 and my dad was 19 and 36 years later they are still together and very much in love. : )

I havent been married for decades, but I have been with my husband since we were 16, married at 22, we are 28 and I still love him like crazy. I knew pretty early that I wanted to be with him forever. Every relationship has its ups and downs. But I think if you have a general agreement together on life and morals it will work out. My husband has a beautiful heart and I know it would be hard to find that in someone else, no matter how bad he pisses me off sometimes. :)

My husband and I got engaged when we were 23 and married at 24. We just had our 26th wedding anniversary in September. I hope your son has the same kind of marriage. : )

I was 20 when I got married. We are celebrating 8 years this year. I wouldn't change it for anything! Age is just a number. Maturity means more.

I have a lot of things in my married life that "research" has shown would break up a marriage. I married at 19. We have been married 21 yrs. Yes we have had fights, a few issues with trust mainly from people not believing in us giving him bad feelings. But we worked through them. One by me taking away his keys and clothes when he tried to pack. I didn;t get married for nothing. Also, I have gone through infertility and had a triplet birth. We have weathered the storms of unemployment and job stress. It depends on how much you really want to be together and are willing to work on it. I have a niece married at 25, divorced 2 yrs later. A friend married at 32, divorced 6 yrs later. Age does not have as much to do with it as willing to work things out regardless. And of course, sometimes, people change and things just cannot be worked out. And some people just should not be married to each other but don't see that until later.

My parents married when my mom was 22. They have been married more than 50 yrs.

I got married at 22 (he was 30). Since then, we've: bought a house, had a daughter, sold a house and bought a new house, had a son, my husband lost his job, and my husband has been diagnosed with cancer. We'll celebrate our 9th anniversary in November, and I can say that, through the highest highs and the lowest lows, I've never doubted either of our commitments to our marriage.

Age ain't nuthin' but a number : )

My husband and I started dating at age 15 as freshmen in high school, and have been together ever since. We are 28 now. So far, we've had normal ups & downs but our marriage is pretty strong.

My Inlaws married at 16 and 18. They had 4 children by 21. They are now 55 and 52 and still married. Not sure if there is regrets tho. But they both agree "till death do you part"

Hubby and I have been together since we were 17 and married at 21. We have beentogether 11 years. No regrets here.

I was 23 & my husband was 21. In may it will be 11 years. It can work and often does.:-)

I was 22 when I got married. We will be celebrating our 25th anniversary this summer. My parents were 21 and have been married over 52 years. Same with the in-laws. I made the best decision and I would marry my husband again! Just because your first time didn't work out doesn't mean it will for your son.

I see you have a lot of answers I just wanted to say a quick note. I hope he is happy and if he is and truely in love they will grow and grow up together as my husband and I have. We were married at 18 and just celebrated our 20 year annv. Yes tough times are ahead and it is possible. He is my best friend as it should be. I wish you and them well. Its okay mom the worst outcome could still turn into some sort of possitive.

I have been with my husband since I was 20 and he was 19 (although he is only 6 months younger). We got married when I was 25 and he was still 24 , it will be our 9th wedding anniversary in May but we have been together just over 13 years. Settling down young doesn't always mean it is going to fail , but I do understand you wanting your son to live a little first , but sometimes as a parent we just have to stand back and let our kids make choices.

My parents also married young (they were both 20) and they are still married now and my dad will be 60 later this year.

My in-laws got married at 20 and 22... They met in a bar where my MIL pinched my FIL's butt, and told him "nice @$$". They got married a week later... this year is their 27 year anniversary. :)

Back when our great-grandparents were kids, if you made it to 22 without being married you were an old maid! lol. Where I'm from, it is a fairly small mormon community. The average age for marriage there was 23 years old...

I am currently engaged, and I'm 23. (he's 25) we've been together for the last 3 years though, and have a DD together (we had been engaged for a while when my BC failed, and now we have our beautiful little whoopsababy! lol) ... I honestly don't see us getting a divorce. (obviously, or I wouldn't be marrying him. lol)

I have seen plenty of 'older' marriages fail... age is a factor, but it's not the only one. :)

I am 44 years old. I was dating my husband at 15. 29 years together and I still love him!! Be careful of interfering too much - I know you love your son and want to give him good advice - but remember you will have a new daughter in law that will be hearing what you say to your son - because he will tell her.

I got married at 23 my DH was 24...our 15th wedding anniversary is next week. We have been very happy and had no major marital issues.

We were both still in college, had no income other than part time jobs and student loans...my dad had to co-sign on our first apartment (we made every payment ourselves, but we had no credit).

My mom gave me a great book given to her by the minister that married she and my dad...yes, she had kept it over 25 years. It spoke on the major issues...sex/money/family/religion (especially if you plan to have kids and are of different faiths)...we also read Men are from Mars, Women from Venus...to help us understand each other better...oh, and a book by James Dobsen on marriage what to expect and what NOT to expect.

I look back at our wedding photos and ask "who let those kids get married??" But I sure am glad they did because we are so very happy.

Hubby and I were 23 and 24 when we married 10 years ago. We have no regrets and have a great marriage. We met in high school and went to college in different states. We lived together for 1 year between college and our wedding.

We both finished graduate school, lived overseas (military), and traveled a lot in the first 5 years. We then started our family (3 boys in 5 years).

For us, the pros were NO debt and NO baggage from other relationships/marriages. We also had a chance to grow up together--we really have a lot in common. I really had no doubt it would work. He is now deployed, again, and we are stronger than ever!!

My husband and i were married at 19. We had one daughter and one on the way. We are now going on 15 years of marriage. We have 4 daughters, 15,14,9 and 6.

I am not going to sugar coat it. The beginning years were HELL!!! We actually hated each other at times. We had a two month seperation when we were 21. We needed time to grow and learn.

Fast forward to age 34, i love my marriage and my little family! Each year gets better. We are enjoying each other more than we could have ever imagined.

I know that my story is very rare. Most dont make it. They may need some guidance in the beginning. (wish we had that, rather than the hell that we went through) I pray that they can be they rarity that my husband and i are. I hope they can grow more and more each and every year!

I got married at 21 to my 22 groom. On May 31 we'll celebrate our 14th anniversary, our beautiful 3 year-old-daughter, and son on-the-way. I don't know that we've beat the odds per se but we are still very happily married!

Our "secret"--we were engaged for almost 2 years before we married and we waited 7 years after the wedding to start thinking about having kids. That gave us time to be us and build a solid foundation for our marriage and friendship.

My parents were married when my mom was 19 and my dad was 22. They have been married for 30 years. I was married myself at 23. We've been married 5 years and we have a wonderful marriage.

I don't think age matters, as much as maturity. I know people who got married in their 30's, 40's, and beyond...whose marriages didn't work, because they were immature and not committed. My husband and I had a realistic view of marriage and knew it was work, but good work. We didn't believe in the Disney fairytale version of life and expected to compromise. We have had very few problems, and are willing to work very hard through any problems, should they arise. I think it all depends on realistic mentality, maturity, commitment, and compromise. If he even has a little of all those things, he will be just fine!!

My brother will celebrate his 29th anniversary in August and my parents just celebrated 58 years of marriage. I got married two weeks after I turned 22. My husband was 28. This summer, we will celebrate our 24th anniversary :). Where does the time go?!? We have our ups and downs, but honestly,I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else. We look out for one another, support each other and say I love you several times a day. We waited almost eleven years before our first child was born, and had our second child three years later.
Encourage your son to have those discussions with his fiance that Cheryl O. mentioned. I'm sure you can think of others too. Some churches offer pre-marital counseling as well.
Don't push him away, even if you are not completely on board with his plan. Get to know and like your future DIL, and you will receive many benefits.

I got engaged at 23 and married at 24 - so far so good. We will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year. I'm not saying it hasn't been work at times but divorce has never been on the table.

I am beginning to think that if you marry young you are more likely to stay to-
gether. When you marry in your 30's you are very set in your ways, and
figure you can make it on your own. No one is willing to compromise,
which is what marriage is about. I got married at 24 and have been happily
married for 36 years. Marriage is work. It is always not always easy but
this is when you work at it. So I do not frown upon young people marrying.
Good luck.

I'm still new in my marriage (7 years - so not decades), but we were both 22, right out of college when we got married and are still very happily married. Definitely no regrets. My parents are still married, but they always had a miserable marriage and I expected that of marriage. Part of me was always waiting for it to get awful and for the honeymoon phase to end. Seven years and 4 kids later, our marriage still feels like the honeymoon stage. I know that there's still a lot of time for that to change, but my experience thus far has been very positive.

I know people say marriage is hard work, but I honestly find my marriage the easiest, most natural thing in the world. Motherhood - now that's hard work. ;-)

Also - if you don't have religious/moral reservations about it, I hihly recommend living together first. So many marriages break up that first year, because two people realize that although they dated well, they just can't live well together under the same roof. I will say that the year we were engaged and living together was extremely rough - working out all the compromises, money, getting used to each other's habits on a 24 hr/day basis, etc.

When we got married I was 21 and my husband 22. Not decades, but almost 7 years now and still going strong. We have our fur kids and our first baby is now 12 weeks old.

My grandparents will celebrate their 67 years together this year, which puts them getting married in their early 20s.

I was 19 and he was 25. Weve been married for 36 1/2 years. The night we met I knew Id marry him. Still really like him too! (o:

Hi - I got married at 24, after knowing my husband for 5 years. We just celebrated our 24th anniversary last week :)

I was 19 and hubby was 20 when we married. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary, and we have six beautiful children together.

We are still very much in love, and still very happily married.

Of course, every marriage has it's ups and downs, and every couple goes through good and bad times. We've always remembered to weigh our bad against our good and try and be thankful for all we do have.

I have no regrets, and hubby says he doesn't, either.

I got married at 24. I met my husband 4 years before that. We are about to celebrate our 16 year wedding ann this July, our 19 year ann of "officially" dating (our first kiss) on May 1st.
I am as happy and in love now as I was then, I have 3 beautiful children that are my world and I know I'll be with my husband until we die.

I forgot to add, my husband is 2 years younger than me so he was 22 when we got married.

My best friend from high school got married when she was 20, and her husband was 28. It's been 17 years and 3 kids later (including twins) and they are doing just fine.

Some other good friends of ours ended up getting married when they were 18 and she found herself accidentally pregnant - it been 23 years now and they are still happily married.

Cousin's oldest son got married 5 years ago when he was 24 and she was 20 - they have 2 kids now and are doing very well.

On the other hand, another friend got married at 18 when she became pregnant, but it did not last - they divorced a few years later. My cousin got married at 20 and he was 34 - they had 2 kids and then last year ended up divorcing after 19 years after he had an affair, and then was having issues with drinking and smoking pot, and she decided enough was enough. My husband was married before and when they got married she was 19 and he was 22. Their marriage lasted 9 years.

I think the biggest thing about the success stories is that all of the young people involved were very mature for their ages and also have come from strong families with very few divorces, so they had a lot of family support and "good examples" to look to. The ones that did not work out were relatively immature when they got married and really did not have a clue what they were getting into (with the exception of my cousin, whose husband just ended up turning into a jackass). It seems like they got married for the wrong reasons and maybe to some degree could not get past being selfish in regards to looking out for their own needs as opposed to what was needed in terms of sacrifice sometimes to keep the marriage strong.

You can always talk to your son and in a non-judgmental way, tell him what you think, but let him know this is only based on your experience. What kind of person is he and what kind of person is the girl? Do they seem to have what it takes to make it last or do you have your doubts?

What you SHOULD do is talk to your son and hopeful future DIL about things that should be discussed and understood before they wed such as:
Kids, how many, stay home, work, how to raise etc ...
Money, who is "in charge," how will it be deligated, hers/his/ours ...
Religion, same/diff, what will the kids follow how will this be done
Household who runs it, what is to be expected on a daily basis etc ... you know as well as any other what needs to be agreed upon and discussed before hand ... and that may even be a good post what is important to YOU that is discussed before "I do's" are said.

My parents have been happily married for 39 years. They married at 19 years old (and no, she wasn't pregnant :). Everyone told them they were too young, they should finish college first, etc, but they were young and in love, and it turned out to be a great marriage!

I got married at 25, but that seems a lot older, somehow, than 22. But we've been married 9.5 years. So far so good!

Is it too early to offer congratulations? ;)

a

My husband and I met when we were 18, married at 21, and will have our 10th anniversary this year. We've certainly gone through our share of ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I'm very thankful I get to go through it all with him. No mid life crisis here, no cheating, nothing. My husband is my best friend and the only person I can 100% rely on to have my back. If I could change anything at all, I would have gotten my degree before having my first child at 23. We probably could have avoided all the financial problems we've had. But then again, I'd only do that if I were guaranteed to get the exact same child.

Also, my grandparents met when my grandpa was 21, my grandma 18. She got preggers (oops!), they got married, and just had their 60th anniversary.

My mom and dad got married at 19 and 20. They had 5 (FIVE) children! On the 24th of April they celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary.
L.

My husband and I were together for 3 1/2 years (engaged 2 1/2 yrs of that) before we got married at ages 20 & 21. In June we'll have been married for 39 years. We have friends that have been married as long as we have or just a little less.

Not me personally, but one of my husband's best friends from high school married his sweetheart before either of them was 21. Maybe less. They are still together and very much in love and have raised 2 wonderful young men together.

Another couple that dated when he was in high school (she was 1 year older than my husband's classmate) married when she graduated college, but still younger than 22. They are also still happily married with 2 great kids.

I know it's a totally different generation, but my parents were married at 21 and had already started their family. 3 kids and almost 50 years later and they are still together, retired, and happy.

My husband and I went out on one date at about age 19/20, and then didn't date anymore until we were "thrown" back together at age 26. I sometimes think about all the wasted time in between, but I wasn't ready at that point in my life. I was still "rebelling", lol. He probably was ready, as he was much more "mature" than I was at that stage in my life, lol.

I don't think that you can judge just based on age. There is a lot more to it than just a number.

I know you are looking for people being married for decades, but I got married 2 days after I turned 22, and am still very happily married! We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in July and have 2 very sweet little people living with us now as well :)

My inlaws were married at 19, still together after almost 33 years. My parents were about 20 and also married for 25 years... Both sets of grandparents were in their teens when they got married and have been for around 60 years now. I was 22 when married and have been for 8 years now and am still happy as ever. Is 22 really that young? Maturity and readiness comes at all different 'ages' depending on the person and their willingness to be compassionate and committed.

Hi Page-
I guess it all depends on the couple. My husband and I are 5 years apart (he older than I), but we met when I was 18 going on 19.... This fall will be 13 years together, and while there were many things that we had to learn the hard way as a couple, because we were went into it with the attitude that divorce wasn't an option, it forced us to learn about one another and created a stronger base. Now, there is no one we would rather be with! But it was extremely difficult for a while. We literally started with nothing and aren't much further along, but our attitudes and our habits are forming into something that I believe is an unbreakable marriage. It probably also helped that we didn't have children right away, either.
Again, every couple is different, and some people really shouldn't be together because they are destructive together and abusive towards one another. However, IF, and I say this with hope and caution, that IF both parties are willing to do whatever it takes, that God can make something amazing out of our bad partner choices. I can't say that at the front end my hubby and I were the right choices, but we were in love. And now, through LOADS of life and spiritual awakenings, we are very happily married. But--I didn't always know if we would be. The biggest thing for me is not to focus on what if's- what if I married mr. right, what if I married a, b, or c...what if I had said no to the over abundance of spending, where would be now? These are not things you can change, so instead, they have to be things that you modify in your current behavior.
My opinion of a mid life crisis, and forgive me if this is offensive, is that a person gets stir crazy because they have been sitting in one attitude for far too long and need a change of pace. It's not that they don't want to be married or regret their partner--it's that they want new, exciting, sparks, romance, ENERGY! They need something to change because in some way, things are feeling static. My father, bless his heart, bought a gun. My mother, after her first grand child was born, spent ten times as much on a gun safe. We all knew what the weapons signified, because after all, he is an aging military man in immaculate physical shape. So my mother, having to adapt, made changes--starting "walking" with him, going to his drill weekends, and "showing" more interest in the romantic time they could be spending together. I see that smile creep into her eyes and she knows it wasn't totally necessary, but her willingness to make a change showed my pops that not only did she care, but she was right there with him for a new chapter in their lives.
Overall, it always depends on the couple, and whether or not they CAN make it work. Sometimes you can't, like your first marriage. Sometimes both parties just aren't ready. But sometimes you can, and now, decades later, it's time to stir it up and serve both sides up a new and exciting dish! I say, leave what you can't change behind you and decide very quickly how you want the future to be....and then do everything in your power to make it so.
Good luck with your son...share your experiences with him, and the grandparents experiences with him. what works for you now could be the saving grace for him later, helping his attitude morph into something long term.

When my husband and I met, I was 17, he was 18, in our freshman year of college. We "dated" through college (did a lot of studying together) and married during graduation weekend, when I was 21 and he was 22. We will have been married 38 years in June, and have been thoroughly enjoying reconnecting as our kids have moved out. I would do it again.
We have a number of friends who got married around the same time who are still together and happy, including a few who met in high school, as well as some whose marriages have failed.
It's not just the age. It's the level of maturity, the willingness to grow together, the commitment to staying married, the ability to forgive and to overlook faults (I tell our kids to marry someone whose faults they can tolerate) . One final thing that I think is really important is understanding love as a decision, not just an emotion. There are times when I'm not "in love" with my husband, but I made a commitment to him before God to love him through thick and thin, and that carries me through. He's my bedrock.

Decades? Not yet! LOL I married my highschool sweetheart at 22 - that was 7 years ago. I love him more now after going through so much with him, watching him become a father to three beautiful little girls, seeing how hard he works to support and take care of us. We were each other's first *everything* and I know that I could look for the rest of my life and NEVER find anyone as well suited for me as my husband is. We grew up together, we built our life together. He is my best friend. There was no "mine" and "his" - we were too young for that...everything has just always been "ours".

My parents married when my mom was 18 and my dad was 20; they're celebrating their 36th anniversary this summer. My in-laws married at 19 and 21; they're celebrating their 38th anniversary next month.

I think when you meet the right person, you know - whether you're 16 or 60 it just feels right, like home :o)

I got married at 24 to a 25yo who already had purchased a home and was done with college. We are going on 10 years this week and have an amazing relationship. I think as long as your son is mature, has a life plan with goals and has a proven track record for being honest in relationships, I think he'll be a successful husband and father. You have to remember that your son isn't you:)

I was 21 and my husband was 23 when we got married, and so far, so good (we've been married for 8 years, and I don't regret it one bit). Personally, I don't think age by itself is a factor with getting married; after all, there are tons of people who get married in their thirties and also get divorced, so just because a couple is young doesn't necessarily mean they will be doomed to marriage failure. I do think that maturity level is a factor, though. Both my husband and I were pretty mature for our ages. We were never "partiers" who liked to go clubbing every weekend (like a lot of my friends were at that age). We were ready to commit to each other and have a family; it hasn't really been easy, but I don't really think it gets to a point where it is easy. As long as you are ready to commit to each other and know that marriage and life are full of hardships, then why wait? It is a personal decision for everyone.

So I would say it depends on your son and your son's future wife. What is she like? Does she seem like a mature and responsible young woman? Does he realize that the honeymoon doesn't last forever? Is he ready to have a family? Do they really know what they are getting into? Sit your son down and have a serious talk with him about why he wants to get married now and if he's sure he doesn't want to go out and have more experiences in life first. If he seems determined and he is mature for his age, then maybe it is meant to be. Good luck; I hope it all works out for the best.

I am 28yr I had our daughter at 17yr and got married 2 mo. later we had been dateing since we were 15yr. When we got married my husband was making $7 an hr. I am not sure how we did it but now 11 years and 3 kids later we have our hard times but we are NEVER afraid of getting help and meeting with our pastors to get advice. Divorice rate now days is 53% . It is VERY hard getting married young and we do look back and wonder if we should have waited to atleast had kids so young so we could grow closer together and maybe travel, things like that.

I married at 24 and we've been married for 6 years, so not that long yet. I have no regrets though and certainly don't have any plans on getting divorced. My mom was 17 when she married my dad and they were divorced 9 years later- BUT, they were married for the wrong reasons and anyone would've been able to predict that it wouldn't last. My neighbors were married when they were both 21 and they have been married for 25+ years. I think as long as you marry for the right reason (love), then your age doesn't matter a ton.

I was married at almost 24 and it was pretty typical at the time (we've been married almost 21 years) though it was trending older (friends married 2 years later). We're still going strong though I think I knew myself more at 27/28. Twenty-two is young, but I do think more is the maturity level of those involved. My husband and I were both quite mature for our ages in my opinion. I've a 26 year old brother currently and he acts like he is 13. lol

I have many examples of successful young marriages in my family. My parents, grandparents, sister and her hubby, sister-in-law and her hubby. They are all wonderful marriages where the woman was between 19-21 and the man was 22-23. I got married when I was 19 and my husband was 22. It is the best thing we ever did. I think it just depends on the people, their values and how committed they are.

I have been with my husband since I was 15 and married at 21. We are in a happy and healthy marriage and I never regret marrying him (6 years ago).

My sister also married her high school sweetheart ad they've been married over 20 years.

It's the people, not the age that matter.

What people have to be mature enough to understand is this: marriage isn't always flowery lovey dovey stuff. It is hard work and sometimes you may not like or even feel like you love each other very much...but you always treat each other with respect because the place where you were when you chose that person was a place of love, and you honor that. Sometimes it's being together just because you made a commitment to do so. You'll eventually find your way back to being in love but all too often people feel like when the feelings gone, hope is gone and they can't see through to the other side.

Marrying young has very little to do with it...it's maturity. I know a lot of 30 somethings who aren't mature enough to recognize that a commitment isn't "just until you don't feel like honoring it.

My mom and dad got married when she was 19 and he was 21, 35 years later still together! Same with the inlaws :) My grandmother got married at 17 and grandad was 19 after she passed he wasn't the same. Never dated again, never wanted to. According to him no one would ever be grandma, that was his wife and the love of his life. He passed eight years later, and never expressed regret about his choice.

I married my husband when I was 20, he was 26. We are celebrating 10 years in June, with 2.5 year old twins and baby #3 coming in June. I know it hasn't been decades, but we are happier now that ever, have been through everything you can possibly imagine in the way of hardships, and have one of the strongest marriages I know. I don't think age is as much of a factor as is the personality and maturity of the people getting married.

I got married at 17... we'll be celebrating or 6th anniversary this year...

My mom got married at 21 and got a divorce after 18 years.

My grandparents on my moms side got married when she was 18 and her was 19... on the other side he was 20 and she was 17. They are all still happily married.

What I can say is that out of everyone that got married young, my parents marriage was doomed to fail from the start. It is a tender subject for me, but my parents got married because she was pregnant (with me) and they got married too fast and for all the wrong reasons. Their marriage really was "over" before 5 years were up- and the other 13 years my mom "stayed" for me... but it wasn't REALLY a marriage as much as it was "co-habitation".

Plenty of people marry in thier 30's and 40's and their marriages fail anyways...

I think that if you get married, and you are completely in love, for all the right reasons, without any "outside pressure" or ulterior motives, then you will have a high rate of success in your marriage. My grandparents all have fantastic marriages and although they haven't been "perfect" they got married for love- and love is what kept them together!

At 22 I would still have married my fabulous husband, had I not at 17... but I would have kicked myself for waiting so long! I feel the same now, and every year I feel that I love him much more than the last. I just look back to my family when things get tough, and know that as long as you love eachother, trust eachother and have a little faith... a couple can weather almost anything!

My question is, when exactly will your son suddenly be "old enough" to take the ultimate leap of faith in another person? And how do you know?

Good Luck!
-M.

My sister got married at 16 and her and her hubby are still married 23 years later! My hubby and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary (married at 25 & 27).
Good luck and best wishes!!

My parents got married at 18 (unplanned pregnancy - me!) and are still together after 41 years. Sure there were some rough patches, but all in all they are happy and so am I.

I have been married 7 years and am 28 (hubby is 11 months older than me... so same age as you son when we got married) and a few squabbles but nothing horrendous.

My parents marred at 21 (dad) and 22 (mom) as well and I was born when my mom was 28... still together so do the math...

My MIL and FIL got married when both of them were 21 and they are still together... so I guess I don't really think of 20+ as young in the terms of marriage...

My husband and I got married when I had just turned 21, and he was 24. Of course, I did start dating him when I was 15, so it's not like we didn't know each other. We only ever dated each other, no one else. We knew what we wanted and stuck with it. Perhaps we were born old. ;-)

We're coming up on 8 years, and we're as happy as ever. Our marriage has suffered a lot of stress due to outside forces, but we believe that has brought us closer to God and closer to each other. There's something to be said for marrying before you're set in your ways. ;-) It has been rewarding to essentially grow into ourselves together, each helping the other along the way.

We got married just a couple of months after turning 20! It'll be 12 years and 6 kids later this June! Still going strong!
~C.

I got married at 21. This May will be our 9 year anniversary, but I do think we beat the odds.

I know I'm chiming in late, but I got married at 23 (had a somewhat planned pregnancy with baby born when i was 24). My hubby is 6 years older then I, was first marriage for both of us, although he had been engaged before. We just both knew and have been happily married ever since - almost 13 years married and 16 years together.

Also.. a friend of mine got married at 16, boyfriend was 17 and they had a baby 6 months after the wedding. They are STILL together 10 years later and have had a second baby.

But in both cases I'm not sure what you would consider limited experience... maybe we just knew what we wanted and found others who were willing to be a part of that.

I got married at 23 and will celebrate my 23 aniversary in June. These 23 year have included two international moves (and 4 other more local moves), 2 miscarriages, 2 kids, lots of jobs, 2 parents passing, 4 pets passing, happy, sad, up, down, and all around, but we are still very happy and committed (or need to be committed!).
I think we benefited from a temporary setting aside of the whole, romantic, in love, let's get married thing, and sat down to what I called 'summit talks'. We tried to think of everything that could cause stress on a relationship and talked them out. Sort of what Cheryl O. suggested, but we did it alone. No parents to put their 'spin' on anyone's answers or reactions. We thought if we needed a referee before we were married, we shouldn't get married! Although a more neutral 3rd party, like a pastor, may be a good idea. Anyway, we were able to sort out areas that we didn't first agree on with reasonable compromises and have committed to those throughout the years. I don't think it is necessary, or even desirable to live together first, just be honest and ask hard questions. Be realistic that the crazy in love stage doesn't last forever, and it takes committment to grow to a deep, rooted love that lasts.
btw - we have several other friends in similar situations to ours. Married in their late teens, and early 20's and still going strong!

I was 23 when I got married, and am still married 20 years later. My husband was 28 when we married. I can't say that I had limited experience, I worked fulltime since before I turned 18 and lived on my own since 19. I really suggest that young adults live on their own before getting married.

We got married when we were 21. 15 years later we are still happily married. No regrets...at all. I get to spend every day with my best friend.

It is a little young. Our parents both had reservations about our choice. They voiced them very carefully, because they knew we couldn't be stopped. They just wanted us to carefully consider what we were getting into. Their advice wasn't pushy (for the most part) and it gave us food for thought. A young marriage isn't always destined for failure, but it can be more challenging. Here's hoping they have a long engagement !

I know you've already received a LOT of responses. I must admit that I haven't read any of them.

My husband and I got married when we were 22. Ten years later, we are still very much in love with three beautiful children. I knew him less than two years when we were married. I know my parents thought it was a mistake, but they supported us anyway. (Emotionally. Not financially. We've always been on our own, and we're doing fine.)

We went through a great marriage counseling process. For us, it didn't really "open our eyes" to issues, but it solidified what we had already been thinking. Even our counselor said, "I know that we need to go through this, but I'm not sure that you need it. You are a good match, and I'm excited to see what you will do in life together." Or something along those lines.

We were engaged for only 8 months. Statistically, if a couple is together for more than 5 years (dating and engaged) before they get married, they have a much higher rate of divorce than those who get married quickly.

I pray all works out well for your son and that you like his fiancee!

My husband and I didn't get married for a long time (7 yrs!) but we did get become a couple in college when we were both 20. We have been faithful and together now for 20 years and married for 13 years. We both turn 40 this year and our relationship is great!!!

I started to read the first few answers, then I decided to reply before reading any more. In the 50's, 60's and even 70's it was common place, even expected, for people to get married in their early twenties. It was also very rare to hear of divorce and separations. Also, what happened behind closed doors, stayed behind closed doors. Of course, this may not be true for many cases, however, when others say my parents or grandparents were married 40/50 years this is true, but who really knows about the regrets or midife crisis.

I know 2 couples in their early twenties that were married within the last 3 years. One couple is divorced, the other couple is very unhappy and fight a lot.

So, the odds don't look good. However, if both your son and future daughter in law, have both known each other for awhile, have common interest and goals, are both mature, responsible, educated, and self-supporting, they have a very good chance of their marraige lasting many years.

My best friends mom turned 18 in october and the following january got married, they're still together and just had their 25th anniversary this year :) Her fiance was in the Navy and told her to just tell him where to be the next time he was home, and so she did. he came home Friday, had the wedding Saturday, and he went back on the sub that monday.
Remember, back when girls were getting married off at 16. and back then, theyre were also less divorces (or they were less spoke of)

I think you will find that you will come up with both types of situations. One where there are long term marriages and others that weren't successful. My son is twenty six just married a girl and she just turned twenty two. I don't think it is particularly young, however she is rather immature and has never been on her own in her life. Nor to our knowledge did she finish high school. Nowadays it is very important for all to have school as things are so competitive in an already tight job market. Nevertheless he loves her and I must be there for them no matter what. It is not up to any of us to say and if we object (as her father did and now they moved across the country and don't seem to speak to him), we push them ( Romeo and Juliet) closer together. I can about guarantee you that if the father would have said yes to my son's request for his daughter's hand in marriage that they would not be married. He is the eldest and must win everything. In this case a bride who just turned twenty two. Which didn't particularly alarm me it is her 'new puppy' who just entered the world personality (she has also discovered other young men and is a flirt which I fear would hurt him more than her age) But there are probably many who have been happily married at very young ages who have made good choices and were able to weather the bumpy road of life together. I do hope that for your son. But alas we must only pray that it works and keep our noses out of it.

My parents were crazy and got engaged on their second date after knowing each other for only 2 weeks! She was 19 and he was 21. They are still very happily married 35 years later. There were ups and downs (commitment is a HUGE factor in their marital success) but they are so incredibly happy and in love. I think their already good marriage got even better when the kids all left the nest, so maybe encourage them to wait to have children.

I swore I would never be *stupid* and get married young even though it worked out so well for my parents, but I was 18 when I met my husband and 19 when I married him (at least we dated longer than 2 weeks -- almost a year). He is 6 years older. He was my first boyfriend and first kiss and we waited until marriage for sex. I thought I was way too young so I did break up with him for a brief period. But he was a great guy, so I didn't want to let him go even though it wasn't perfect timing and not in my plans. We are about to celebrate our 9th anniversary this month. The last couple years it has been a struggle to keep the romance alive, but I think it is normal in marriage for the flame to die out and you have to always work on it. That's a marriage issue in general, and not because I married young. But I saw the tremendous example of commitment in my parents, and there is no way either of us are going to quit when we're both good people who just need to nurture our feelings for each other. My husband and I have tried to date more regularly and do things together that we enjoy like when we fell in love and things are improving. My mom always taught me that love is an action word -- it's something you do on a continual basis, and not something you fall into. It takes work, and so I was never fed the Cinderella story of an easy "happily ever after" with no effort required, which helped me be more grounded.

But I understand your concern. I felt the same concern when I got married and was worried that I was too young to make such a big decision, but I really did marry a wonderful person so I don't regret it. Unfortunately, statistically speaking, there is validation to your concern. My husband's mom was 19 and pregnant when his parents got married and they divorced when he was 4. The character of the two people involved makes a big difference (my FIL is a wonderful father but not a faithful husband).

I got married the first time at 19 - old enough to be legal, young enough to be stupid. I don't recommend marrying young and I don't recommend marrying anyone that you haven't lived with for at least a year.

We were married at age 20, have 2 beautiful boys and will celebrate 10 years this year. No regrets!

My parents were 20 when they got married and they are still married with no problems at the age of 41. So 21 years together.

I was married at the age of 20, husband was 23. Even though I was very faithfully on birth control and had been for years, I became pregnant within the first month of marriage. I was tired the WHOLE entire time and I was also finishing college which included pre-student and student teaching all day for free every day. When my daughter was born we had to put her in daycare while I student taught, so we were paying for daycare on one income. It has been stressful, but it will be three years in June and even though I don't feel as if we are as close as we used to be and we haven't had the perfect happy marriage, we are now getting back to that. Of course, a lot of that I believe is because of having a child so early. I was pregnant the first nine months of marriage and just having a new baby was exhausting enough. I also found out I have some thyroid issues we are working out, so that could have a lot to do with feeling detached and everything. I guess every situation is different. I for sure don't plan on divorcing him and I have no reason to think I ever will. It's been rough, but we made it through the first three years :)

married at 21..prego a month later...I have only been married seven years...it is tough sometimes, never anything we cant work through though.

I had only been dating him for a little under two years when we got married too.

I could have written precisely the same thing as Kristy G. with the exception of the counseling part. My husband & I met & started dating July of 1997 when we were both 20 years old, we moved in together that November, I was pregnant in November 1998, we got married January 1999 when we were both 22 years old. I'm not going to even try to say it's been all rainbows & butterflies ever since, but we've pushed through everything that's been thrown at us so far. According to every statistic I've read we should absolutely NOT be together:

We are a bi-racial couple,
We were raised in extremely different family lifestyles,
We had children less than a year after marriage,
He is in the military,
He is also a civilian police officer,
We were under 27 years old before getting married,
We lived together before getting married,
Blah,
Blah,
Blah!

The list could go on forever, but all that really matters is that the 2 people involved are friends who enjoy each other's company & truly committed not only to each other, but to the institution of marriage. As long as you've got that, you're all set.

Dh and I got married at 23 (8 months after meeting, to boot). I already had a child and all that responsibility, but he graduated college just 5 months before the wedding The first two years were the most difficult I've ever had, and we're "only" on year 11, but we have 5 kids now, and we're very happy!

My parents were 23 (Mom) and 24 (Dad) when they got married and they just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

Hi Page,

I got married at barely 23 and am happily married for about 5 years. So, I can't say decades, but we have been through a TON of stress in our marriage and we have stuck together through thick and thin. It think it really depends on how mature the couple is and how prepared they are for life and relationships. What makes you hesitant about your son getting married? Do you feel the person he is marrying is wrong for him? Do you think that he isn't ready? I would always encourage my friends to wait to marry someone until they have been together at the minimum a year. You really only get to see someone's true colors after the first 3 months and it can take a while to see every aspect that you need to in order to really KNOW if you are in love and that you are right for each other. I am not sure how long your son has been dating, but if it hasn't been for a long time, maybe encourage him to hold off for another year or so and make sure he is making the right decision. Good Luck!

M

I don't know what faith you are. I always go to the bible and the Bible says it's better to marry than to burn meaning if you can't control your sexual desires than it's better to marry. I think it's great that your son is wanting to get married at that age because most young people don't want to get married till their in their 30s or 40s and have slept around by then. Times have changed but the good book hasn't. Personally, I think he's the perfect age to marry. I wish I married at 21 and saved myself a lot of regrets. Marrying young would be like someone in their late teens. I hope his woman is good to him and if so count your blessings!