Yes, Another Potty Training Question! - Enola,PA

Updated on April 01, 2010
N.H. asks from Point Roberts, WA
12 answers

I've been trying to potty training my 35 month old twin boys forever. I had them on a potty routine for a while (going after meals, upon awakening, etc) and was hoping they'd start telling me when they needed to go eventually. Well, they didn't and things started to get worse because they started refusing to sit on the potty. I decided to take a step back and put them back in pullups. I told them when they started going in the potty and keeping their pullups dry I'd take them to the store and we'd buy special big boy underwear. One of the twins started doing well so we got the big boy underwear. He was doing so well for the first 4 days and then all of a sudden started having tons of accidents. Uggh, I'm at my wits end! I don't know if I should change what I'm doing or just keep on with the big boy underwear. He says he wants to still wear them and tells me he'll keep them dry but turns around and pees in them. It's almost like their novelty has worn off and he's too busy playing to bother. Any mamas out there experience this? What did you do? Maybe he's just too young to making staying dry a priority over playing?

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M.G.

answers from Pittsburgh on

As a mother of 4 and Nana to 3; let them go!!!!! They will go potty when they are ready! To continue this you are the one that is trained. I would put them back in pull-ups; continue with sitting on the potty when they wake up before naps . Make it part of their daily routine like brushing teeth etc. If they go REALLY make a big deal about it. I would do the "potty dance" It went like pee-pee on the potty or poopie on the potty.It took one of my daughters 15 months to train her daughter. That was over a year of stress. Remember; they won't be in pull-ups when they go to school!

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E.M.

answers from Denver on

Ok, so I have a girl but I'm going to chime in anyway. Our daughter was fully potty trained at 2 1/4 and then fully regressed when her sister was born when she was 2.5. Back to square one. We bought a princess dress and put it in her closet. She could look at it but could not play with it or wear it until she was fully potty trained (again!). I think the concept of a reward that they can not see or touch is too abstract for a child that young. But let me tell you, seeing that dress and being reminded of it every time I wanted her to get on the pot really helped. If you do this, make sure you get something they REALLY want. Sticker charts were not a good enough "currency" for my daughter though I guess they work with some kids.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son is now 3.5 years old... before this.... he simply was not ready. HE had to be ready himself, to own it... it was his body. He even told me once "Its MY body!!!!"

One day out of the blue... he pretty much potty "trained" himself.
He just went to his potty chair and told us and pee'd. And he's pooped a couple of times too. No, he is not yet all "expert" about it yet... but the thing is HE wants to do it... now. Not because we force him or bribe him or give verbal nagging.

He is happy. He does it. Sure, he is not a rocket scientist about it everyday... and some days he just does not want to. Fine. NO biggie, to me. BUT, it is a BIG leap in motivation now... its his own motivation... not mine. And he's proud.

All the best,
Susan

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

It's absolutely normal that kids have accidents again....my son had them after staying dry for 1 month...

All of a sudden he was peeing everywhere....he always came and told me he'd done it.....

I didn't get mad, just made him help me clean it up, had him take his wet pants off and put new ones on.....

It took all together 2-3 weeks with some dry days and some wet days, but we survived....

Now he's 99 % accident free........

It's a great thing that your son wants to keep wearing his big boy underwear....that shows he's willing and you should support that....

I know it's hard, but it will be over some day....

About being too busy playing....that is sooooooo common.....

Just try to remind them to go potty in between.....not like "Do you need to go potty ??"... "NO!"...."Oh, ok.".....but more like "Lets go potty real quick."...."I don't have to!"....."Oh, common, lets try and afterward I will play cars with you, what about that? Let's go!"....

Try to stick with it....just going back to diapers because you are discouraged isn't the best thing to do....

If you keep on trying you teach them that you shouldn't give up just because it's not working out at the moment !!!

Good luck !!!!!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I think we are just a few months ahead on a very similar timeline--it has gotten a lot better in the last few months. My son is 38 months and we have the same issue with arguing about going to the potty (mostly I just insist). I had him in pull ups for a really long time--like 18 months before we tried underwear (about 6 weeks before he turned 4). If he goes to the potty every 2 hours or more often he is fine. He still doesn't tell me in enough time to get to the potty reliably to pee (but at least no poop accidents in months). I finally made some rules--if he fights about using the potty he gets a pull up for the day (he hates the cool alert ones), more than 3 accidents in a day he gets a pull up (a regular one, it isn't a punishment, just recognizing it is an off day like when he is sick or overtired). If he fools around and there is pee on the floor he wipes it up with a clorox or lysol type cleaning wipe. He still fights at times and tries to make it a power struggle but there has been a huge improvement in staying dry over the last about 3-4 months. We first put him in underwear right after Christmas. There were a lot of accidents the first week or 2 and he went back to pull ups for a week when he got a bad cold and ear infection. Now he is dry in the day and wears a Goodnight (more absorbent pull up) at night. Mostly he can stay dry and accidents are only if we are out too long (he doesn't like to use bathrooms many places when we are out). It does get better!

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He's too young. The average age for boys is 39 months-- and that's average, which means that half the kids are later. He'll do it when he's ready. I personally that I would put him (them? I'm confused about who's not trained) back in diapers for a couple of months. The last thing you want to do is make this a power struggle.

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Staying dry over playing is a tough choice for a little kid, but I will say that whole heartedly, the only thing that worked for us was bribery. I know, many people will say I'm a horrible mother. That said, I negotiated Wii games for potty training with my 3 year old. He got to play one game for going pee and a game liked more if he went poo in the potty. If he had no accidents all day, he got to play his most favorite game after dinner. And each time he uses the bathroom or didn't, we discussed the repercussions of that decision. Again, I'll probably win the Bad Mom Of The Year award, but I say find your kids' currencies. I had a kid that would have been content to wear diapers till he was 40. Our first step though was that each day I asked him if he wanted to go naked that day. He typically said no, but one day he excitedly said yes and I knew he was ready. He spent two days naked, so he could see what was happening while he went to the bathroom and was better able to recognize the signs. We talked about how when his pee pees dance (that's the best I could come up with on how to explain it), we have to run and put them in the potty for a pee pee party. I even made him apologize some times to his poopies if he had an accident, because, as I explained it to him, poopies love to be in the potty and they're sad that he wouldn't let them be in the potty. My hope was that he'd have empathy for the poops and use the potty faster. Ha! Two days naked followed by a few days just in underpants (his choice each morning) and he was doing well enough for us to go out in public.

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B.D.

answers from Lancaster on

my son had many more accidnets than my daughters - and he still does have some (he is four) I really didn't worry about it - it takes awhile to learn, their attention span is short. I did ALOT of laundry and even now remind him that it is time to go to the bathroom if he's been outside playing for awhile or before we leave to go somewhere. Watch how you phrase things - don't ask if they want to, instead say "we are going to go potty before we leave". Good Luck - oh, and I would do away with the pull ups - I never used them - i think they are too confusing - I took the all or nothing approach.

J.O.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have 3 kids long past that wonderful stage...'-) I learned, at least for my kids, that they potty trained very easily...when THEY were ready. I tried a couple of times and had a similar experience to yours, so I backed off and tried a few months later...in both cases with my 2 boys, once they were ready, it happened very quickly with little drama or stress on either end! My daughter was even easier!
It's quite possible they are just not quite ready...have faith...it will happen sooner than you think! Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

We let my son go without any thing on the bottom, it seemed that even when he had underware on we would forget that it wasn't a pull and have an accident. When he would go out side to play with the older niehgbor kids I would put just loose fitting shorts or pants on him. Once he was not having accidents for like a month I then started putting him back in underware. We are still in pull ups at night time though and i think we are going to take the same approach.

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D.D.

answers from Denver on

I'm just chiming in because I also want to know what to do! My boy just turned three and no pottying in site!

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Don't get discouraged. My son was almost 4 1/2 when he finally got it. For me, after age 4, I was on a time-table. I had to have him potty trained by the time it came for registering for kindergarten which was less than a year away. So, I had to go the drastic route. When my oldest daughter started school in September, I made him go bottomless during the day. That did the trick for him.

Anyway, as you can see from all the posts you haven gotten, kids get potty trained at all different ages. The first thing you need to do is relax. Your sons are not at the age where not being potty trained is an issue. I think that it was a mistake to put your sons back into pull-ups. No matter what they claim, pull-ups are no better than diapers. They pull the moisture away from the skin so the child can't feel it. If you sons are truly ready for potty training, move them to underwear and never go back, no matter how many accidents they have. Eventually, they will get the idea. Just buy an ample supply and wash them everyday. If they don't show improvement in a reasonable amount of time, several months, then you can always try going bottomless like I did with my son.

Good Luck!

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