I babysit this 17 month old. I've baby sat him since he was five months old. He's always been loud. But now he's loud about everything. He yells for his food. He yells about getting his diaper changed. He yells when he takes a toy away from another child. He yells when you take the toy away from him and give it back to the other child. He yells when its nap time. He yells sometimes when his mommy puts him in the car seat to leave. He yells at his playmates. Is there an appropriate way to handle this? I try talking to him and telling him, "No yelling." He's very smart. Sometimes a "look" just does it - but I'd rather try and help him stop. It's an angry yell - then if you tell him "no yell" it turns into a siren yell - no tears.
Thank you all for your comments. I don't think it's a hearing problem - because the words he does say are very clear. He understands what he sees and speaks its name, etc. When he was 5 mo old - he would SCREAM while you were preparing his lunch until it got to the table. Am I wrong to use Time Out with a child this young? I read somewhere where that was abuse. I am this childs primary care giver (50 hours a week) - and his parents are very quiet people. Not much T.V. in their house. I do notice him pinching the other children. Should I put him in Time Out when he screams and then again when he pinches?
If he passes a hearing test then I would work on helping him use words...rephrasing what he says and asking him to say it. So if he yells LUNCH, you say "Say, I'd like my lunch now please." If he can't get that out at 17 months, he can at least learn tone and a few words...or try signing with him. If he's frustrated because he can't communicate, teach him a sign for Help, Please and Thank You. Good luck!
PLEASE suggest that the mother get this baby's hearing checked! We had a girl in our neighborhood just like this -- we literally live THREE HOUSES away and could still hear the kid. This went on for YEARS, until she was old enough to go to school. Then the public school she attended did a hearing screening, and she failed miserably. Turns out the child had 90% hearing loss in one ear, 80% in the other. She was nearly completely deaf. Hearing aids were placed immediately and she was moved to a school for the deaf -- and she became a totally different person in months! Much happier, calmer -- probably because she could communicate and be understood as well. Hopefully, this mother will get this child screened soon.
P.
I yelling is his way of talking or using his voice. He needs to learn to use the correct voice for people to hear. Yelling doesn't work! Teach him to whisper his requests. it may tone things down a bit. Definately DO NOT REWARD HIS YELLING by giving him what he wants when he yells. He will get the idea. My 22 year old is still learning new things. We all have to learn. You are his teacher.
I was thinking the same thing...that maybe he is having a hard time hearing.
K.
Hi C.,
The behavior may well be something he observes either at home or wherever he spends most his time, or even TV if he watches a lot. Either way, the more you react to the behavior the more he'll do it.
The attention reinforces the behavior. It may be more difficult in your case because you are not the parent, but try ignoring hom completely (as long as he is safe) until he stops. Then he won't associate the behavior with attention anymore. For some kids it is almost an instant solution, for others it may take longer, specially since you are not his primary caregiver.
Have you tried teaching him to use an "inside voice" or a "quiet voice"? I taught in a day care room with 15 18-month olds for a year. When we had yellers, we told them "no yelling, we use a quiet voice inside"- gently and with a quiet voice ourselves and then had them try out their quiet voice for us. We would use a quiet voice ourselves and whisper to the kids sometimes to help them get the idea. We also played the loud/quiet game where we would sing and play instruments quiet, then loud, then quiet... to help them learn the difference.
At that age, everything is a game so you have to change the game to produce the results you want. He may just be naturally loud or hear that at home, or he may just be yelling to get results-attention from you. If you start giving him more attention for his quiet voice instead of his yelling, you may be able to change his game from the yelling game to the quiet game, and make things more peaceful for you!
I agree with some of the other postings--if this behavior is continuing even after all the explaining and positive disciplining you're doing, he should probably have his hearing evaluated.
Okay, I might not have read the whole thing correctly but....maybe he can't hear! Maybe he has some sort of hearing problem and is frustrated. Worth looking into.
Children will continue a beahvior if it gets them what they want. They will discontinue a behavior if it does not bring them what they want. Has this child learned that yelling gets him what he wants from his mother? If so it will take quite some time for him to figure out that the same tactic will not work with you. Be consistent! AF
Have you tried using a more positive approach? I learned as a mother of 2 (now 6yrs and 4yrs) that when I used the word "don't" or "no" along with the action verb...they focused on that action word. If I said "be quiet"...after telling/teaching them about quiet vs loud, they would be quiet or use their inside voices. Making it fun with a story or song is helpful (library should have something). Also, my kids like being rewarded. So, on issues that I want to work on with them, I'll reward them with something that they like. At first, I made a chart where they earned a sticker or stamp. After 5, they could get their prize (m&m's or smarties or skittles...only 5 pieces...helps with counting and/or colors, too...now, it's coins/money). I did a chart with 20 squares, after the chart was complete, we would go to the $1 Store! But it looks like you have a lot going on with the other kids. The parents would have to do something like this at home, too. Also, the 1-2-3 method works, especially in the beginning. If you give him a chance to listen, then he's more than likely to earn his reward and see that it's better to listen than to yell. I hope some of this helps! Good Luck!!
Hi C., kids are smart. Don't allow this child to yank your chain too many times.He knows what he's doing and sometimes you just have to out-wait him,a child period.Just go in and set more boundaries and know that rearing up a child is one of the hardest jobs and frankly that's what you doing. Aside from your own children.Continue to talk to him about the screaming he understands. Just imagine what he does at home. Keep me updated!
