My ex's other kid has the flu and he is supposed to have my son this weekend. I told him that I'd rather my son not go there b/c I can't have my son getting sick. Mine has already missed a lot of school b/c of surgery and dr appts. Not to mention I have a job and am in school. When my son is sick I have to drop everything to care for him. My ex is insistent that he will keep the kids apart. But... what about the doorknobs and all the other things that probably have live flu germs on them?
I told him I'd rather not and told him he could come here on Saturday (he takes him every other Sat night and returns him on Sun) and that they could go to chuckie cheese or a movie or something like that. I even said I'd pay. I know what kind of dad he is and he's not the one who is cleaning puke and taking care of the kid...that's the mom who doesn't work.
Anyway... I think he thinks I'm being a grouch, but I don't want my kid to be sick. Like I said, then I'm the one who has to lose income and study time to take care of him. Would you send your kid to their dad's house if there was the flu going around and it could be avoided?
Maybe offer to switch him weekends. If you just switch he will not be losing any time with his son.
Most likely he will pick it up the flu, but I'd see if the father will at least switch and have him two weekends in a row. Flu is airborne so even his dad, could be a carrier even if daddy isn't sick he's around it and could carry the virus. If he doesn't go for switching weeks, then say, if he gets sick then daddy will take care of him and you don't' have to miss work and school.
I'd offer him another night once the other kid is healthy. Why would he want to bring his son around his other child with the flu? That thing spreads like wildfire!
I'd not take him.
Not to mention that you could catch it from your son and have to take of more time. Nope I wouldn't risk it. See if you can switch weekends...
I agree with you!! If your ex insists that you keep the schedule the same, the only thing I can think of is you tell him "If our son gets sick I will call you, so that you can come stay with him while I go to work/school." If he is so sure that he can keep the kids apart (and not let your son touch a single doorknob - ha!) then he should feel comfortable with that arrangement.
I think you are being reasonable. There is no reason to subject your son to the flu just so Dad can have his one night. I don't think I would even let Dad come visit, because Dad has been exposed also. I would ask that Dad switch weekends or another weeknight once the other child is better.
No. No, no, no, no, no! The flu is so contagious. It sucks that dad might have to miss a weekend, but suggest a trade, so he gets it back the next weekend, or a weekday visit or something. No to sending your child over to a house infected with the flu.
Nope, I agree with you and I would just try and switch weekends with him.
I'd try to switch weekends.
I have never heard of someone who would deliberately put their child in harms way-or maybe I have-it's called negligence-what is his thinking? Have him come over, hand him a bottle of hand sanitizer, and he can take your son out for the evening-and bring him back at bedtime. You're a grouch? I think not! He's a ....nevermind.
No not at all. I'm sorry he doesn't understand that. It's awful. Just trade him a weekend if you can. Or send your son with a big bottle of Purell.
I think you made an alternate offer that still gives the child time with his parent without exposing him to a sick child. It's a tough call sometimes, but if your kid has already missed a lot of school, I think it's reasonable to ask for a different outing or to offer alternate time when the other child is will.
I wouldn't - I'd try to make up the weekend later on when everybody's healthy. But this all gets into legal questions, and you know more about that than I do.
Stick to your guns. The other child is sick and your child doesn't need to be getting it.
As a peace offering, suggest he take your son next Saturday night once the other child's illness is cleared up. Ask kindly that he sanitize the shared areas in the house (even if you have to give him a can of Lysol).
If he has a court order you cannot stop him from taking his child.
He has been exposed to the flu. He has the germs on him and may not get sick but can spread it to others. I would tell him does he want his child to get the flu?
If he feels that things are under control then he can take the child and not do what you want.
I would not like him taking him either but that's the way it is when there is a court order.
Don't send your son. Whether it's the actual flu or just a stomach virus, why would your son's father even want to risk having one child pass it to another? Especially with your son's health issues? I suppose it's great that he doesn't want to miss out on any time with his child but you could tell him that once the germs pass through the house and surfaces are sterilized, you'll make certain that the time that he misses out on this weekend is made up. Reassure him that you're not trying to take time away from him.
I wouldn't take him there either.
I agree totally.. I hate sthe somach flu. not only is it super contagious for kids.. but when my kids get it.. both mom and dad get ti..
I will let my kids hang out with kids with colds.. coughs runny noses.. but not puking and diahrreah.-- not to mention the time my son was admitted to the hospital with dehydration after vomiting for 40 hours straight.
do not expose yourkids to the stomach flu.
Nope. I wouldn't send my kids ANYWHERE where there was an active sickness. Nope. They are contagious as is everything they've touched for usually at least 48 hrs.
To be honest I think it was rather nice you offered the movie. I wouldn't offer anything besides a when it's been gone from your house for 24 hours we can talk! If it's the schools policy.... as it is here, it would be his too.
stick to your guns-kid with the flu and no help sucks-daddy is a carrier even if he isnt sick hes been exposed-so id postpone the whole wkend.just for the safety n health of your child.he should be able to understand that.good luck
We wouldn't want to send our kids to somewhere with the flu but say one of your kids or you has the flu at your house, do you send you son there to keep him from being exposed? I know it isn't what you want to hear but this really isn't your choice, if he has visitation rights, you can't legally keep him home. This is one of many things when a child has two households that you can't control. I hope that your son's father will think about letting him stay with you (or trade you for the next weekend) but if he doesn't want to, not much you can do to stop it. Teach your son how to wash his hands well and send the hand sanatizer with him.
Men just think we over-react. We don't see things the other way. You mention the mom who doesn't work...hopefully she is a good and understanding person and has already cleaned all the door knobs, flush knobs, and light switches.
It sounds like he is not going to let this one go. Try to relax and hope that it is true that the other child is no longer contagious.
Maybe you could express something like, "Why don't we stitch weekends so you will be able to go out together and have fun." Hopefully it will work if you make it all about them.
I think it is resonable to ask. If my child is sick or the other child is sick we cancell the playdate. The only thing different in your situtation is what the legal terms are.
As someone else mentioned the dad could already be caring the virus since he is in the same house as the sick child, so even with see dad could expose your child to the virus. On top of that this time of year it is hard to get around without getting sick, the movies & go out to eat has a very good chance of exposing your child to any sickness.
If the other child is sick and the dad has been caring for the sick child or has had contact with the sick child, then your child has a chance of getting the flu anyway.
I caught the flu even though I had NO direct contact with the sick child. I can not tell you if it was the door knobs or the table, or the toilet or something else. But I caught it and was miserable for 36 hours.
The only good thing was I lost 4 more pounds.
Good luck to you and yours.
