Would You Say Something? - Chicago,IL

If it's only for a 4 hr get together, I would try to get them to meet you in a public place... Maybe you could do picnic at a local park, so the kids can play while the adults chill out and visit.

Other than that, Yes, I would say something... I think it would be perfectly acceptable to tell them "I am a bit nervous about having my kids around a dog that I can't trust absolutely... I know you trust him, but kids and animals are both unpredictable, and I wouldn't want one to set off the other...

If you have to, you could even make something up... (Yeah, Suzie is a little anxious around big dogs lately, since she heard about Fido biting Cousin Soandso. I think it would be better if we could keep the dogs separated from the kids while we are visiting... I would like to allow her to work through this on her own.)

I ussually don't lie but is there any way you could say one of you are allergic to dogs?
If not I';d either decline or if you are close enough let them know with recent circumstances you would like to know if the dogs will be contained. Even good dogs are ussually put into a room for parties.

I would express my concerns and make it clear that I would not bring my children into the house if the dog was there (unless it was kept in a room with the door closed the whole time). I certainly wouldn't let my kids around dogs that are unpredictable.

How long have they had the dogs? If they are brand new to the home, is it possible they will be more comfortable in their environment and better trained by spring?

I hear you~ My MIL has a dog that she got from a rescue, and she adopted it knowing that it doesn't like kids. I did not know this on our first visit, when it growled and nipped at my daughter when she got close to my MIL and then later cornered her, barking, scaring her half to death. She's a small dog, which doesn't really matter... We made it clear that we would not go to her house if the dog wasn't boarded or kept in the garage while we were there. ( She won't leave it outside even in nice weather because she barks at everything and she worries about disturbing the neighbors.)

Here's what I would say...
We'd love to see you, and I'm sure that after hearing about the unfortunate incident with cousin Sue and your dog, you understand our concern about having the kids around him. What are your plans for the dogs while we're visiting?

If they say they plan to have the dogs there or brush it off and say that the dogs are fine, I would again state that you'd love to see them but you aren't willing to risk your safety or your kids' safety by having them around the dogs, given that they have hurt someone and they aren't predictable.

Maybe you could meet someplace for dinner or something and not have to go to their house.

I would tell them that you can only come if you are certain the dogs are crated in some other part of the house. I would NOT go with 'in another room with the door closed' as people have a habit of accidentally opening doors and some dogs can figure them out as well.

I would tell them my concerns before hand and let them know that you won't be coming at all with dangerous dogs around. If they have enough people say that, they may wake up and realize they need to address the problem and not bury it under the rug. A little nip is one thing but serious injury is another ball game. GL

No, I would give them a chance to decide whether or not to crate the dogs or not. If and when the invite comes, just say "thank you, we really would love to come but I am concerned about having the children around the dogs. Would you be able to crate them or put them in an area away from the kids while we visit?" and then they can decide what they want to do. If they pooh-pooh your concern and say that the dogs are fine, the kids will love them etc. then you get to decide what you want to do.

I would let them know "we would love to come, but frankly, since Tim got bit last year we are very nervous about a possibility of little Jonny getting in the dog's way and having something happen." That is a great opportunity for your family members to respond with either "These dogs will be locked in the basement for the duration of the party" or "I'm sorry to hear. We will miss you". Either way, you have to do what's best for your kids safety.

I'd tell them that the dogs concern you and you want them put away from the children when you come to visit. If they don't want to do that, then don't go to their house and meet them in a public place if you want to see them. It they have any decency, they shouldn't protest keeping the dogs away from your kids.

If I were in your shoes, I would decline the invitation. If they ask why, then I would explain the situation and your concerns with the dogs being around your children.

I would decline the invitation. Without explanation.
IF they ask you why you've declined, just say "We're concerned for the girls in light of what happened to Mary. I'm sorry that we can't make it."

IF you feel that they will securely kennel the dogs without exception IF you ask, then just do that. I would not go unless I knew for sure that the dogs would be secured.

This dog attack sounds awful and I am not sure why it isn't a wake up call to the owners. Dogs period are unpredictable, but owners have a natural inclination to minimize the probability that their dog will do anything aggressive. You can have the mildest, sweetest dog and along comes someone who freaks the dog out or the dog doesn't like their smell - and there you have an attack or someone gets bit. I have a cocker spaniel (27 lbs) he is afraid of laundry baskets. uprigth vacuum cleaners, large boxes, you name it. He pretty much likes EVERYONE who comes to our home except one of my BIL's and my brother. Will not go near them for some odd reason. I would be honest and tell them your concerns and that if they can put the dogs away for the visit, you'd be happy to come. If they come back with something like..."Cujo only bit her because she stepped on his chew toy...or he was spooked by the sound of the tea kettle" then you realize she's in denial and you should not go. I have a friend who's life revolves around her dog and if you are afraid of dogs/ or just don't like dogs...she advises you not to come to her home because she does not like having to put her dogs away or crate them at all in "their" own home. She puts the dogs before people. I have no problem putting my dog away when guests come over. I don't want any situations, that really could have been prevented. The owners should see this as a precautionary tale.

I would certainly share with them your hesitation and concerns. If the dog has recently bitten another family member, the odds are pretty good that they will not have an issue putting the dogs away with company.

My son (4) is terrified of big dogs, no matter how sweet. Even after he's more comfortable, he's very aware of "where" the dog is. For that reason, no matter where we go, if I know there is a dog, I ask the owners if they would be OK putting the dog away until my son is more comfortable. I have yet to have someone say "no". If they invite you into their home, they need to make an effort to make you comfortable.

I've had to deal with a similar situation with my sister, and just told her "we'd love to meet you and the kids at the park, but frankly, your dog scares the sh*t out of me. I know he's fine at your house and all that, but his mouth is the size of Kiddo's head and it's a chance I just can't take".

She laughed and said that *everyone* was afraid of her dog. And that she understood.

I would politely decline "We'd love to see you, however, since you have a dog which we know will bite, I think it's better to meet up at (suggestion). So we'll have to pass on this visit but would love to see you at our place or at X."

I wouldn't ask them to crate the dogs, personally. I had previously requested that with my sis, and at some point, someone would let the dog out anyway because 'he was calm' and their perception was simply "what's the problem?" It sounds like you would have to trust their discretion where you are also seeing that there is not good discretion.

Hi Mama
I would just be honest with them in a tactful way.
Protect your kids at all times,especially from the danger you have knowledge of.
B. k

Honesty is always best. Be kind but let your concerns/fears be known. Then it will be up to them to decide what to do next.

~I am a dog lover and would have no problem and do have to, put my dog away when company comes. My dog has never bitten anyone and I want to keep it that way...he is 100lbs and a very intense dog that makes others nervous. Hopefully your husband's family will do the right thing and put the dogs away!

I wouldn't go, and I would absolutely tell them why.

this is simple. They shouldn't have an issue if they want to see you, and knowing their dog already bit someone else! Tell them that you do not want your kids exposed to the dogs, and are not comfortable bringing your children around unless they cna crate the dogs. Period. If they want to see you, they will crate their dogs. It really shouldn't be an issue. Honestly, I am a dog owner, and have been all of my life, and IF my dog bit someone, I highly doubt that I would be able to have anyone in my home to visit without putting the dog in a crate to protect the visitors, my dog, and myself (from any possible litigation) so this should be really common sense. Good luck!

I absolutely wouldn't go. The long and short term consequences are of too much concern. It sounds like they have minimal control over the dog. You don't have to give them an explanation but you might say that you can't have your children around the dogs. I am also really concerned about the fears your kids might develop after being with these dogs. A four hour get together can be spent somewhere beside their house.

Definitely explain your reasoning. You don't have to mention your opinion about the previous bite, but it's reasonable to say that you don't want your kids around the dogs. Maybe they can be put away during that time, or maybe the get-together can take place somewhere other than their home. If you just decline without explaining, they will surely be hurt or confused.

Aren't dog bites like that supposed to be reported to the police? Because a bite that serious is NOT the owner's choice on whether to euthanize the dog. Not around here, anyway.

I wouldn't accept the invitation unless the dogs were guaranteed to be crated or kenneled while you were there. I see no reason or good in lying about your concerns. These particular dogs are dangerous and have proven that fact.

When Spring comes (pretty far yet, try not to stress) I would decline to go. Your children's safety comes first.

I'm actually surprised the dog isnt on quarantine. When I was attacked, they made us report the indecent, along with the hospital.

I think you can be honest while still being kind. Tell them it's your problem -- that you sometimes get frightened around large dogs. That way, if they're ready to hear the truth, they'll get it. If not, you've avoided a confrontation.

I would be honest. They can't possibly be surprised at your hesitation to have your kids around a dog with proven aggression. This is the choice they made by keeping the dog. They should be able to deal with the consequences.

My sister-in-law and her husband have a mastiff. We are not comfortable having our children around this dog, but we have been able to honestly use the excuse that the kids are allergic to dogs. Everytime they are around dogs their eczema gets really bad. However, I would in this case let them know that you can only come if the dogs are contained/restrained in some way while you are there. Your instincts are absolutely right!

Just be honest with them. Say we'd really love to come visit, but we're not comfortable having the kids around the dogs. Hopefully they will do the polite thing and offer to put the dogs away during your visit. If they don't, just decline the invite. They should understand why.

Be honest with them and let them know you are willing only if the dogs are confined. I can't imagine them being hurt by that request. Rescue dogs are always unpredictable and dogs in the 100 lbs range should be kept at a safe distance unless very well socialized and controlled.

I keep my dogs in crates when new people are in the house and they don't weigh 25 lbs together. They are only let out if the folks visiting are "dog" people are are comfortable having them nearby.

I would be honest and you can do it very kindly - let them know you are protecting not only your own children, but them -- if anything were to happen they would feel terrible, your relationship would be strained, and they'd have to put down their dogs. You're just being very responsible and protective of everyone. I can't imagine they'd take offense to that. Let them know you'd love to see them but just don't want to take a risk - however small - that all your lives could be affected by. It's not a big deal to relocate dogs for 4 hours. And I would be sure they are actually relocated vs. locked in one room on the premises -- kids can easily open a door. Good luck!