Would You Give a Recommendation for a Friend's Home Daycare If..

I've been providing care for almost 25 years. I've never had a time where my blood could have been co-mingled with theirs. How in the world would that even happen? You are being way too paranoid here. Moms with HIV are even having babies without passing it to the babies. As long as she isn't having a full blown AIDS thing going on where she's sick and unable to work, then I don't see the problem.

Okay- take a deep breath and STOP!!

HIV can ONLY be transmitted via bodily fluids....is she going to be doing funky things to the kids? I don't think so.

Her HIV status is NO ONE'S business unless she chooses to make her it business. I would be considered if she had opened and or bleeding wounds - I would expect them to be very seriously bandaged.

However, I will state that I would PREFER TO KNOW if I had a care giver that was HIV+ - not because I don't want them around my child - but so I can keep an eye on for the onset of AIDS....no, I'm not a doctor, but if my child grows to love this person - I want to be able to prepare him or her for the eventuality that they may not be able to care for him or her any more.

If you think that she is great with children and a responsible caregiver, then don't feel bad giving her a recommendation.
Many states require that licensed provider take bio-hazard classes in the licensing process and have pretty strict hygiene rules for handling bodily fluids.
Unless you are having sex, HIV is almost impossible to transmit person to person, so I don't think there is anything to worry about.

If a daycare provider even THOUGHT to engage in any activity (sex, *bleeding* into open sores, IV needle use, transplants, tattoos given with unsterilized needle, transfusions, giving birth to your child, breastfeeding your child, drawing blood after poking herself) that could result in HIV transmission, they should be out of a job. In other words, yes, of COURSE I would write a recommendation for my (qualified, skilled and good natured) friend...who also has HIV. Every facility and teacher should be taking proper and adequate precautions against the transmission of bloodborne pathogens. Perhaps you would feel less concerned after doing research and/or talking to a health care profession about how HIV is spread.

Of course you should recommend her. Good heavens, we've known for many years how to prevent the spread of HIV, and there are absolutely no instances of it being transmitted even within families who are in constant daily contact with each other so long as simple precautions are taken. Hospitals don't refuse to treat people with HIV. Dentists don't refuse. Doctors don't refuse. Visiting nurses don't refuse. Children are probably safer from other diseases in a setting with someone with HIV - there is more handwashing and a greater use of gloves anyway.

The state cannot discriminate against her in granting her a license. Her HIV status has no bearing on her abilities or on the safety of the children involved.

Oh Lord......
This is discrimination, pure and simple.
Educate yourself about HIV.
What is she supposed to do to earn a living? Are there ANY jobs you would "be OK" with her having? Is she OK to flip a burger?

If she's exemplary in every way I doubt the HIV would stop me from doing a reccommendation for a friend. I'm surrounded by people with infectious diseases and conditions, we all are. In her case, what she has is quite manageable and I'm sure she takes all the precautions one would take when working with the public. The ones we need to be afraid of are the ones that dont even know they are sick. I'm not very leary of blood borne illnesses, they are pretty hard to contract.

I think that you should only give recc for people who you believe sincerely that YOU would use - I mean isn't that what a referral is for?

It sounds to me like you are unwilling to talk about this with your "friend" and instead are giving her a referral out of guilt.

Friends talk with each other. Friends are honest with each other. Remember the Golden Rule - Treat others as you want to be treated. Is that how YOU would want to be treated?

I would be fine with it. i can understand how it might worry you (given your self-confessed OCD hypochondriac status :) ), but in reality, the kids in her care are totally safe. So safe, that, legally, her HIV status does not have to be disclosed to anyone choosing her daycare. You did a kind thing for a friend.

I would assume that there are childcare workers in every state who are HIV positive and you don't know it. It's not your business if she is HIV positive or not. All a parent needs to know is that their child is well cared for and safe at day care.
There are safety precautions that are taken - gloves during changing, cleaning of changing tables, disinfecting of high chairs, etc - to protect the children as well as the provider. Sometimes the children are the carriers...
I'd not worry about a thing.
LBC

I owuld contact your pediatrician or the regulating agency in her state/county anonymously. Ask what the scientific thinking is on this to reassure yourself. I honestly don't know. I would actually be more worried about her being ill frequently than about her spreading the virus. I think she is brave to expose herself to all those little germs that kids have...

Go with your gut. If you would not want your child being watched by someone with HIV, why would you recommend one? I do not think that I would recommend her, if something were to happen and she was not honest with other parents, wouldn't you feel awful? Now, the chances are slight that something HIV related would happen....but I am sure we can all agree strange things happen. Go with your gut. Find advice on if its even legal for her to run a day care. Find out what your liability would be. Then go from there. But in my opinion, if all of this is necessary....I would probably just choose not to recommend her. Its really a sad thing, but protecting others and their children is what's most important.

If I were the mom looking for the daycare, I would, plain and simple, want to know the truth.

IF I found out that the daycare provider did not disclose this important health factor which has serious health implications, I would be more than pissed, but would probably take legal action. Both you and your friend must be honest in this situation with potential parents.

There has been enough mass education regarding the truth about the spread of HIV. There has to be blood to blood contact. It could happen in a day care I suppose....a simple unnoticed paper cut on the hands of the infected daycare provider and a diaper change on an infected, open sore bottom perhaps? The scenarios are possible. But like Nina points out, she should and needs to have precautions in place.

We have a new neighbor with two Ethiopian adopted children. One has HIV. My kids play with her. We've had them over for dinner.

My question to you, were you honest about her health on the application? Or did you just not mention it?

My guess, and 2 cents, is that if she is able to get a license with HIV, then she should be fine watching kids. I would think that that fact would have to be stated on her application and with the proper precautions there shouldn't be a problem.

But she must be forthcoming with everyone and I wouldn't be surprised if that didn't impact her ablility to attract clients. But that's another subject.

You like her, you know she would be great with kids, that's all that's important right now. I really think that the HIV is a licensing issue and between your friend and the officials issuing the license. So relax...you did the right thing. D.

yes, you are overreacting. you can't help how you feel i suppose but that doesn't make it right. your friend is quite aware of her status. she is quite aware of what could happen. she is quite capable of being careful and taking all the necessary precautions - do you think she intends on infecting these kids with HIV? don't you think the thought of that would devastate her? of COURSE she's going to be careful. anyway, i wouldn't want ANY childcare provider getting careless with blood or bodily fluids - i don't care WHAT they've been diagnosed with, or haven't. no way should i ever have to worry about that in a daycare. besides- what should she do, live in a bubble? she's around kids if she goes into a walmart store too. just saying. lay off her.

When going thru the licensing process, there is a form that your DR has to fill out... I can not remember what exactly is on it... But I do know that it asks if there are any major medical issues that could keep this person from doing their job... It would be up to the drs discression on if they thing HIV is major or not...

I would think that she would have EXTRA precautions in place if she knows shes positive...
As a parent, I would want to know... As a daycare provider she could be filling in a MAJOR gap and care for other children already infected that have a hard time getting placed because of it...

No, I would not hesitate to do a recommendation- if she's great with kids and is conscious of herself there is nothing to be concerned about. Honestly, I am far more concerned about my son coming home with the flu, cold, strep, etc than HIV from daycare.

I would fill out the recommendation, but only before discussing it with her. I would only do it if she made it VERY CLEAR to all of her potential customers that she had HIV. It may hurt her feelings, but as a mother myself, i would want to know if the person watching my child was HIV positive. Although i don't think that it would influence my decision on whether or not to allow her to watch my child. If she is as good with kids as you say she is, then that will trump any illness that she has as long as she takes the extra care and safety to keep all of the children in her care safe.

Your friend has a homeday care, is she the only provider? What precautions does she have in place in case she gets cut --- like with a knife making lunch? It happens, with or without HIV. Does she have a back up plan, and assistant? Physical barrier between the playarea for the kids and the kitchen -- where she can see them but they cannot get to her if she cut herself? This is just one possible event.

If she has appropriate support and a backup plan, also some gloves around, I'd be ok with it. You have already sent in the recommendation, so what are you really going to do now -- withdraw it?

You might want to talk to your friend about backup plans, and arrangements if she wants help for that -- worst senerio planning can be helpful and often takes more than one person to think of lots of possibilities.

This is tough. I understand your concern. Education about HIV might help. Also, regarding the law they are going to vary by each state but you should be able to find them online.

Good Luck!

Her daycare abilities & HIV status have nothing to do with each other! HIV & AIDS are different as well! Many people have many diseases such as Hepatitis & it's none of our business! HIPPA
We never know until someone tells us! Base your recommendation on her skills!

Part of my brain would react out of fear, but I think it's ok to recommend her. Aids is incredibly hard to transmit - there are tons of families out there who live with and care for someone with AIDS - it's not transferred through casual contact. I agree with what Beth said. And it's really nice that you did the referral even though you're OCD and hypochondriac :)

I think you have done your part -- simply stating the truth regarding her ability working with children. The real questions here is -- Will she disclose to the children's parents the fact that she does have an illness?

I would the same as you. Your friend is not being honest. Although many problems are private. If she is a caregiver working with children she needs to be either not working with kids or tel the parents and let decide.

I know a few people that are HIV possitive and have no worries being around them or letting them play with my children. Of course working along side of someone with HIV has allowed me to understand the disease better and has taken the fear out of it. Most people with the disease are very responsible and know what they can and can not do to keep everyone around them safe. You can't get HIV through kissing or hugging and unless the caretaker is going to bleed all over a child with an open wound there really is no danger. Personally, I would not have a problem with placing my child in a daycare with someone who has HIV as long as I trusted their care.

That being said, you have been asked to write a recommendation. If you are not willing to put YOUR child in that daycare, how can you possibly write a truthful recommendation? I say you politely pass.

I think SHE has to disclose to her clients and it is their decision to put their child in her care or not. you should Be honest about your reccommendation. If you would not put your child in her care because of her HIV you should clearly state that. You can express that it is solely due to her HIV and not her abilities. Then the evaluators can get honest feedback and make an informed decision.

This person must and needs to have full disclosure with all her parents and if she is applying for a state license. Recommending her is one thing, but who was seeing these recommendations. FULL DISCLOSURE!!!

Hi mommyof 2, I am a daycare provider, and NO I would not recommend anyone who has a contagious illness to receive a daycare license. They do a background check for crimes and warrants, but not medical. The fact that she has aids and is willing to work with children to me is questionable on her charactor, I in form my daycare parents when I or someone in my family even has a bad cold. I believe if licensing knows of her conditions they probably will not licesen her. I would take it back, like you said you would not want someone with aids caring for your children. I have to have TB test done every so many years, so aids I think not. Beth said in the paper work there is a form for the doctor to fill out, unless things have changed in the past 14 years that isn't true, There was not a form for my doctor in my packet. Mom's those of you say it is discrimination, or no health risk, are you kidding me, children get skinned knees and ellbo's open skin, education or not, why would anyone even consider putting a child at risk, in daycare we are always busy, it can only take one time for this woman to be so busy that she forgets to put a glove on, or forgets to wash her hands, one mom said what kind of job do we expect her to get, it's not our place to expect anything, but as parents and providers it's our job to ALWAYS PUT THE SAFETY OF CHILDREN FIRST no matter what the situation is. One mom says she worries more about her child coming down with the FLU OMG the flu is cureable. I have conducted many interviews over the past 14 years, and I have had people ask me about my health, and if I have ever had the flu short, which I haven't so I tell them no, and I'm 54 and never had the flu, but that's besides the point, I can not imangine her in an interview saying I'm good at what i do, oh by the way i have aids, and someone enrolling their child with her especially when they look at 4 or 4 facilities before they make a decision. Wow I'm really shocked here. J.

My answer is no. I won't write recommendation letter at the beginning because I won't put my kids in the this situation. I don't want other mom doing it because of my letter (not totally, at least some contribution)

You don't get rid of HIV. I don't know the answer to your question, I would seek a medical professional's advice.

Blessings...

I am not familiar with the laws concerning daycare centers in your state but I would assume that if she is licensed that she had to pass a health examination and that must mean that the state has no problem with her being HIV positive. I would certainly think that she would need to tell the prospective parents that she is HIV positive...and I am sorry but I would hesitate to put my child into a day care situation where I knew that there was a life threatening contagious disease . Did you mention the fact that she is HIV positive in the recommendation? I am glad that I was not the one put in this situation...it is a difficult decision to make.