I am in agreement with your husband.
Not only will you encounter speeders, you will also encounter extra road noise.
The first house we built was on a golf course in a very nice area. As the neighborhood grew, our street became a cut thru street and I hated it. Police would often sit in my driveway to radar and ticket people.
Even after speed humps were installed, you stll got the noise of people rolling over them at the higher speed.
When we started looking to biuld our current home, one of the MAIN factors was to be on a private area road that was no cut through and not close to a main road.
We ended up about 2 miles away, built a bigger and better house on a large wooded lot backing up to an 85 acre park that will not be built on, lots of wildlife, lots of privacy ( no looking out the kitchen window into the next house... I can go out back stark naked and no one would see me)
The extra money we spent was FAR worth the aggrevation of the traffic on the cut through road. We are SO much happier with our current location. That said, we had a beautiful home on the golf course but it just was not worth it.
No, hubby is not being too picky. EVEN if you go through with this house, think about the outcome if you need to move.... RESALE
We also despise alleyways, water towers, cell towers, power lines, etc. and they are a deal breaker.