Would You Accept $1000 Gift from Your Neighbor???

Hi, K.:
People give money when someone they love dies. If she needs help in paying funeral expenses, apply it to that. If she doesn't need money to help pay funeral costs, then save it for later.

If she has a favorite charity, she can donate the money in her husband's name.

She doesn't have to do anything now because she is still in shock from her loss. She can wait and think things through.
Just a thought.
D.

My condolences to the family for the loss.

I think she should accept it. He wants to help and has the means (he wouldn't give what he doesnt have to give) and it would only cause more stress if she tried to give it back. I like the throw a party idea too?

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If you return his money you should return the money from the others as well. He wasn't "paying for services" he was just giving out of sympathy or empathy and kindness.

If a homeless person gave me $100, I would question it more than if Bill Gates gave me $100,000. Your neighbor could very well be one of the ones written about in the book, "The Millionaire Next Door." $1000 to a multimillionaire would be well with in the means of someone not looking for anything other than to be a help. Don't try and read his mind. A kind heart is often misinterpreted.

Don't look the gift hourse in the mouth.

Good luck to you and yours.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I would help your mother write a thank you note "from the family" and then put the money toward funeral costs or other leftover expenses. He sounds like a very kind and generous man.

Doesn't sound like a gift, It sounds like prepayment on a relationship. I wouldn't accept it.

Sorry about your Dad. I wouldn't accept the money but I wouldn't look down on someone if they chose to keep it.

Does she "need" the money for funeral costs, etc? If not, I would urge her to return it and say she thank you and she doesn't want to offend him but it's just too generous and that she can't accept it.

I know you've already posted when your mom did. I just wanted to share my opinion. I wouldn't have accepted it. Main reason being the fact that you stated that he may have a crush on her. It makes me a bit leery on what his intentions may be and if down the road he may expect more from her as a friend or whatever. These days, it would make me nervous of his intentions. I hope it doesn't lead him to believe something that isn't true.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I would give it back to him and say thank you but you can't accept such a gift. Tell him that it's just too much, but that if she needs help with something around the house, she'll keep him in mind. That shows him that the gift was too much, but she's not beyond asking him for help if she needs it.

It sounds as though he may have a crush on her and letting her know that he would like to be more than just friends...which if that's the case is just creepy considering her husband *just* passed.

I would not accept it. I would return it and say thank you, but can't accept.

I don't know your situation or your mother's relationship to this person, but if it was obvious that he had a crush on her, I would be very suspicious. Is he going to want "something" in return?

Don't cash the check just yet, put it away... if you give it back he might get upset. You could make a pie and then go over and thank him for the generous gift and tell him that you cannot accept it.

If your mother on the other hand trusts this person and you think he would not be a threat, it should not be a problem.

He might be seeing your mother as "free" now and perhaps want to court her?

Be careful. God bless and good luck.

I think that was very special. My brother and my husband are both strong men and have very tender hearts (even manly men can be in touch with emotions!) and something like that, especially in a time of loss and grief for someone, would not be unusual.
Your mom handled the situation PERFECTLY by being gracious and accepting a gift, but then saying "this will be spent for my husband" and making the thank you note more about him and the friendship. I couldn't have said anything more!
Except, holy cow---I am not even going to think about what would happen if I lost my husband...except to say that I can't imagine having any party any time soon without him. That just wouldn't happen (to anyone I've ever been close with!)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's an awfully hard thing to bury a loved one, but it is also extremely expensive, and many people know this and want to help out if they can. Your mom's neighbor's gift was beyond generous. If your mom is uncomfortable accepting it though, it might cause a strain in their friendship, especially if she feels there is an ulterior motive (romantic). I suggest that she tell him she really appreciates his generosity, but cannot accept such a large amount of money from him. His intentions may be entirely pure, but if she's uncomfortable then she should not accept it. Maybe he could donate the money in honor of your dad to your dad's favorite organization, or to his church.

I would accept it, and use it to host a block party of some sort.

I am so sorry for your loss. My FIL passed away 2months ago & their neighborhood gave my MIL $1000 in cash to help cover expenses until the insurance was sorted out & it was given with love and true friendship. This sounds entirely diffferent & I would probably not accept the money. Maybe she could ask him about mowing the lawn or another way to help.