Would This Bother You??? I Wish I Could SCREAM Right Now!!!

Sorry but I would pay more than that if it was for the well being of my kid.

I guess I will never understand people who want to pay the least amount possible for childcare if their kids are so precious to them.

Just fyi there is no such thing as tax free. She should report the income and you are supposed to be filing a schedule H and paying the nanny tax. If either of you aren't doing that it's not tax free it's tax fraud.

Have you ever calculated what you make after taxes, etc. and then subtracted what you are paying for childcare? Are you still coming out ahead that much? If you have a commute, are you adding what you are paying in gas? Just wondering if you thought of it :)

For four children? 16/hr is not unusual for in home care, at least in my city. I'd have to pay just less than that for the well rounded care for my two young children.

Which is exactly why I stay home with my kids (also, I like it).

I would lose money, by going to work.

While I do believe 16 per hour is too much since you don't make enough to pay it, it's not unreasonable for a nanny. It sounds to me that you can not afford a nanny. Your formula is all wrong. It's wrong to compare a nanny with an in-home provider.

I am an in home provider and clear very little when it's all said and done. I don't need to clear as much as if I was to go to someone else's home. In my home I have the benefit of being in my element. I feed myself and provide food and utilities for myself and my daycare children and I have tax breaks for doing it here.
Tax FREE is illegal for you and for her. I hope you get turned in if you do that. Against the law is against the law. I pay my taxes, you should too. It's your job to collect her employment taxes and you must also match 1/2 of her social security/employment taxes. That is, if you want to do it in YOUR home. You need to collect her taxes and remit them to the various governments. Anything less is wrong. You are only allowed to pay someone 599 for the entire YEAR if you want them to claim it themselves and work in YOUR home. Otherwise, have her do it in her home and she can take more kids, if she's able to depending on her laws about licensing.

In someone else's home I would not be able to combine the payments of several families. I would have to get to and from. I wouldn't have any personal creature comforts of being in my own home. I would have little control over the food cooked and ate. I wouldn't be home to let the gas man in or a repair man. I wouldn't be able to care for my pets.

I can accept low pay at my home. I would NEVER accept this low pay at YOUR home. That's just crazy.

Several moms on here are curious as to what you pay normally...

I was a nanny to one child for 20 hrs a week at $12 an hour... when they had a second child, I was paid $15 an hour. $16 is not the most ridiculous amount to ask for, but perhaps a start to negotiate on... for instance: if you are wanting to pay her $12 instead, maybe you can compromise on $14?

OR, you can just find someone else... The pregnant babysitter MAY be able to stay on for another week until you find the replacement...

ONE of the reasons why I don't work (among hundreds of other reasons): The cost of childcare!

I don't think that is an unreasonable amount. I won't even tell you what we pay for day care because I don't want you to yell at me when you wake up with a headache after passing out and hitting your head. I pay it because I trust them, period. Nothing is worth more to me. And as another poster pointed out, it is not cost effective for most moms to work unless they make over $30,000 or so per year.

It is really crappy that she waited to tell you, but all free will contracting people have the right to change their mind. I am not sure we could or should speculate as to why she waited.

Rather than getting mad, sit and decide whether it is worth it and then do what momofmany suggest. This may be the opportunity you have been looking for to stay home with your kids! Also, you are already upset with this woman. Do you really want to keep a business relationship with her? Move on, find someone else, or reevaluate with husband to see if you can stay home.

I honestly don't think you will have trouble finding someone reliable in your price range. But if you do - maybe you or hubby can change roles and become work at home parents!!

Good luck!!

I think that maybe she was trying to decide what to do, and in the end just decided that she needed to earn more per hour than what you were offering. Personally, I don't think $16/hour is that outrageous of a salary. My sons charge $15/hour to rake pine needles. This person is taking care of your children, which is way more important than raking pine needles. Now, I understand that it is high compared to what you are earning while they are watching your children. Most women don't really make enough to justify childcare when they take everything into consideration (gas, clothing, convenience foods, taxes, etc.). I'm not sure if you are a single mom or if you are married, but you might consider if you are better off staying home with the children instead of working. Of course, if you are a single mom, you don't really have a choice. Also, add in the pros of staying with your own children rather than someone else doing it. :)

My god, I'd LOVE to know what these women do for a living who can afford to pay $16 an hour for daycare!!! SERIOUSLY????? Of course ALL of children are priceless, but thats why we'd like to be able to AFFORD food, clothing and shelter for them!!!!
FYI to those who think thats reasonable, thats more then a LICENSED daycare charges, where all meals are provided. And around here, if your infant drinks a standard formula, thats also provided. So lets do some math here ladies!!!
YES providing childcare is hard, just as hard as some or many jobs. But you'd think its unspoken that you will not receive the same amount of pay as the person paying you, or why the hell would they be going to work? If you want to make $16 an hour, you better be freakin Mary Poppins and work for one well of family!!
I hope you find a replacement, and tell that girl to get lost :)

How much were you going to pay her and how many hours is she to be there to provide childcare? $16/hr sounds high without knowing how long it'll be for.
Also, it's unreasonable for you to factor in the cost of your utilities as you're providing those things for your family not the nanny.
**Them being in college has nothing to do with it. Actually on 2nd thought that makes their service worth even more considering you're getting a person educated in that field. You're saying you can't pay her more than you make per hr, but she's not working 40+ hours as I assume you do.
PLUS the younger the child the more expensive the childcare.

Tell us how much you expected to pay her and for hour many hours so we can answer appropriately.***

I think you're both nuts for not discussing how much the job paid when you offered it to her. Wage negotiation is a standard part of a job offer.

And unless you have a contract with her, she is free to resign the position at any time, even if she hasn't started yet, just as you are free to terminate her employment or rescind your offer at any time.

I think it depends a bit on where you live. I went back to work for about 6 months after my 1st child was born. I had a nanny and paid her $15 an hour. When my niece was here as well, it was $18. That is typical here. $16 for 2 children seems reasonable to me.
I am also a little shocked at the tax free comment. If you have someone coming to watch your kids all day and you are paying them, there is a fair amount of work you need to do to in terms of it being legal. You need to have a tax ID number through the IRS. There is paperwork involved. You seriously need to look into that.

I think she went home and starting asking around and someone told her your offer was lower than what they got somewhere. She was remiss to accept the job and then quibble the rate. Did she sign an contract yet? I would take this as forewarning that she's flakey and that's not who you want to take care of your kids. I'm sorry you're now in a bind. Everyone - employer and the employed - has a price point. Better to find out now.

FWIW, we pay our niece (who has some college education, but not a degree in Early Childhood yet) $10/hr for infrequent babysitting.

?

$8 is way to low! We pay our college sitter $10-12 an hour

To me, that is way too much to pay. And shame on her for waiting till the last minute to let you know. I would tell her that I'm sorry but I have to stick with the original agreement and work your tail to see if you can find someone even if it's temporary until you find a permanent replacement. OR would this babysitter be willing to do it until you find someone to permanently replace her. You would have to pay her what she is asking but with the knowledge that it is strictly temporary and that she will be let go as soon as you find a replacement. Don't know if either of those ideas would work or not but that's what I can come up with. So inconsiderate of her to do this to you!

$8/hour is perfectly fine, even respite providers and PCAs (personal care attendants) don't get paid $16/hour. My son is on a waiver program (disabled) and the most I can pay a PCA is $14/hour but they go through much more training.

For a college girl that doesn't have a degree yet, $16 seems a bit much. If it were me, I'd call her bluff. Tell her you agreed on the price you named, and if she can't do it, it's totally fine, no problem, you will find someone else. My guess is that she will still do it, because college kids need cash. But, in the mean time, still find someone else as a back up.

I think what she did was very unprofessional, personally. If it were me, I'd chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone else. If she's already that dramatic, uncommunicative and unreliable right out of the gate, you don't want her. $16 an hour is pretty standard for a nanny (because she's likely considering it as a nanny job--my "nanny rate" always depended on the size of family and what was expected, but they were getting a pro, not a babysitter), but she's not someone I'd be happy to pay $16 an hour to. Find someone else to spend your hard earned money on, and who will agree to a more economical wage. People are out there!

Tell her that you're already paying her what you can afford based on your own salary and if that's not enough for her, tough cookies. Maybe you should tell her that even if you could afford that type of agreement you would then feel obligated to report it on your taxes and she would then be required to report it on hers. If you pay more than $5,000 a year you really would have to report it. So let's say that you have her for 20 hours a week 50 weeks out of the year, that's $16K per year. Let's even make it conservative. Let's say she gets 15 hours a week for 45 weeks a year, and that's still $10K per year just for her.

She's not even a licensed daycare provider who's working full time watching your child so she's not even qualified to make that much per hour. So yes, she's nuts for asking for so much, but it's also possible that she doesn't really expect that high of an amount and is hoping to try to compromise you down to a more "reasonable" amount. I would bet that she's actually hoping for $12/hr.

I know she's left you in a bind but maybe you can work out a temporary schedule with the other girl that you have left and refrain from telling her that it's about payment issues.

EDIT: I'm not actually suggesting reporting the taxes. But you can explain it to her as if you're going to.

Yes this would. She shouldn't have accepted the job if the terms were not agreeable. The time to negotiate was when you presented the contract. I don't know if she did it on purpose or not but I would say this isn't a fit! Why doesn't the other person do it all the time? I'm confused as to why you have two.

I think that is absolutely ridiculous. she obviously knows how ridiculous and not to mention rude she is being since she couldnt even talk to you in person or over the phone about it. I have 2 college degrees and i work as a dental assistant and thats more than i make! wow the nerve of that girl. If you guys have already discussed and decieded on a salary, then i think it is just ridiculous to demand more, after the fact and right before she is supposed to start. I'd say tell her no thank you then and good luck finding ANY job right now that will pay you that much, let alone as a babysitter. Yes i love my kid too and in a perfect world would pay any price to make sure my baby is safe, happy, getting proper care, etc but in todays world with the economy, its just unrealistic to be paying $16 an hour for a babysitter. stand your ground. personally i would say 8/hour is a little on the low side for 2 kids maybe 9-10 would be better but no more than that! Hope you can find someone else soon!

Hmmm, probably another mom called her at the last minute and offered her $15 an hour. And who can blame her, wouldn't we ALL go for the highest salary?

I'm sorry you're in a bind. Hope it works out for you!

:)

I worked at a daycare in Seattle and I only made $11/hour for watching 7 toddlers by myself in one classroom. So I would say that she is definitely overshooting her salary. Maybe closer to $9-10 per hour would be appropriate since you live in California? Definitely not $16/hour, that is way too much. Good luck; I hope you are able to work something out.

Around here, $15-20 an hour is completely normal for a nanny. I used to be a nanny, and would never take a job that payed less than $13 an hour. All that said, now that I am a mom I can't afford to get a nanny :( I took a job that pays as much as I would make outside the home and can work at home with my daughter now!

wow,find someone else for sure!

Someone mentioned 4 children....that's about 30 per kid per day and I think that would be about right...where I live anyway.
Get someone else.
She may or may not have done it deliberately...you may never know that. maybe she got a better offer or something.

yes it is maddening. What a twit! Though I would think $10/hr would be minimum for two kids, maybe she's just playing the barganing game and starting high.

I can understand your point. At this time I simply would be looking for other alternatives...My top priority given this sticky situation is the well being and safety of my children.

I totally laughed when I saw this. I used to pay our daycare lady 20 a day. That was her asking price and I agreed. I've never had anyone come to the house and baby sit though, so I don't know what they charge for that.

We live in an upscale area and pay our sitter $40/day, which is the going rate around here. She is a college-educated mom of four grown kids, specializes in early childhood, and we take him to her house (with food packed).

These ladies seem to have (in addition to lack of life experience) some entitlement issues, not to mention communication deficiencies for people who hope to be professional caretakers. Pass.

I had a college girl come to watch my little one when she was less than a year/just a year and for roughly 10 hours a week I paid her $80? I think?

I think $16 is a lot. i have another college age girl that fills in when my daycare lady is out or I am in a bind and i never pay her more than $10/hr and that is for 2 kids - though if she only has one at the time I still pay her $10/hr.

I think this shows her character and while it sucks - at least you know she is NOT reliable and you're better off looking for someone new.

I suppose I would say it depends on how many kids you have and how old they are. Also what is the going rate for care in your home for kids of those ages in your area. My sister cares for 3 girls in their home, ages 8, 6 and 2 and she makes $15/hour, so it doesn't seem totally crazy to me.
I'm curious about one thing. Were you taking your kids to a home daycare before where there were other kids or were you taking them to someone who took care of them only, just in her home? I ask because I think it makes a difference. In a daycare, the provider can charge less per kid per day because there are many kids all paying that rate. A sitter who comes to your home and cares only for your children will likely expect more and I would expect to pay much more for a babysitter than I would for a daycare.
I used to pay $26/day for my son to go to daycare, but I would never expect someone to come watch him all day for that price.
That being said, she did agree to whatever you were paying when she took the job. Maybe she did this on purpose to squeeze more money out of you, but maybe she just realized that she had set her price too low and is trying to find something that feels more fair. At any rate, you are either going to have to work something out with her, perhaps a compromise between what you were offering and what she is now asking, or find someone else.
Good luck!

Most centers have a daily rate that is charged not a per hour. In my next of the woods it is anywhere from 25-50 per child/per day of course that is all day. Maybe you could work it out that way?
Also re-explain that it is tax free and that if she needs more money then you will need to report it on your taxes for the additional tax break. Break that down for her and it might show her you were being more fair than she thought. Most young people don't realize how much is taken out for taxes or need visual charts because they haven't had a lot of experience in the "real" world of taxes and jobs yet.
Best Wishes!

Hi there, I think $16 is a little high, but $8 is WAY too low. I live in your area, and make $13/hr for 2 kids in their home (an infant and a 4 yr old). I wouldn't do it for any less than that, because of the extra inconvenience of being in someone else's home (rather than when the kids come to you as an in-home provider) plus it's a 35 minute drive to get to their house and obviously that uses gas which is so expensive these days. Have you thought of looking for an in-home provider rather than a nanny that comes to you? It would be a lot less expensive that way. Good luck, and I'm sorry you're in a bind.

Wow, don't I feel like a cheap-o after reading this post!

For the summer, I was considering "hiring" a "mother's helper" one day a week, when I work from home from like 9 to 4 and thought that I could entice someone for about $40.00 a day. Seems like I might be low-balling that based on what is here... This sitter would most likely be a non-certified older middle-school to high-school aged and she would be able to eat with the kiddos and go swimming in our pool. Now I am wondering if this would be enough?!?

As a college kid, getting to play all day with a few kids for $8/hr under the table sounds good to me! I do not think my job at the college library paid much more than that and it was way less interesting and I had taxes taken out and what-not. Maybe I am off base here...

See if your pregnant sitter can hang on a bit longer? The girl is being unreasonable with the request and the timing and I'd be worried about her character around my kids.

Good luck.
~C.

I would not want someone watching my kids who changes her mind at the last minute placing you in a difficult position. That's pretty telling behavior to me. She hasn't even started working for you and she's pretty inconsiderate. That's not a quality I'd want in someone looking after my children.

If you are in a bind, pay her what she is asking while you find someone else. I would NOT pay her that. Or tell her that raises can be negotiated but right now it has to be what she took the job at. I would not pay her what she is asking because that is insane. I think she waited until the last minute to tryt and make you pay her more. I nannied for 2 boys for 3 years and I got $200 a week, so $20 per day per kid. That was MORE than fair for the parents, and doable for me as it allowed me to go to school and bring my daughter once I had her.

I haven't read the other's, but I know what I pay a day for our care giver and $16 seems to be a bit much for a college student. I would pay her until you can find someone else or ask her again about the $16 per hour and remind her that she originally agreed to a lower amount.

The difference between daycare and a babysitter is that your kids are getting one on one attention all day with the babysitter. They are able to stay in their home & be comfortable, and to be with each other. How old are your kids? I'm assuming they are young because they are not in school yet. If they are under 5, they still require a lot of help/care/attention/redirection, etc. Not to mention, you have 2 kids, which is twice as much work. While I can understand your frustration, that is a lot of work for what equates to less than minimum wage. Would you do your job for 8 bucks an hour? Probably not. My guess is that the babysitter did her research & got wise to what she should actually be earning. Since the girl is in school for child development, that makes her more valuable & better equipped to handle your children, as well. You can find someone in your price range, but keep in mind that you might also be getting what you pay for.

As for everyone talking about taxes, if these girls make less than a certain amount (I think its somewhere around the $3000 range per year) they don't have to claim it on their taxes. I don't know if they are only doing this for the summer or what, but it may not be necessary for you to do those taxes.

When I was in college and worked part time I made less than $3000 a year so I opted for my employer (the college) to not take taxes out- they do this alot because students make so little. I never had to file, and I got to keep my whole pay check. So make sure you know what you're doing before you go around making more hassle for yourself than need be. Look at your state tax information and try to find that information on the federal tax limit.

That's ridiculous. Yes, there is the possibility that she waited so that you would be in a bind. There is also the possibility that she really doesn't want to do this and is going up in her fees to jusitfy it to herself. Either way, I wouldn't trust her to watch my children.

How many kids do you have? If it's 1-2 it's probably a little high (I pay my current babysitter $8-10 an hour for my one son). If it's more then that though, I hate to say that it's probably close to reasonable. I make 16.50 an hour doing my "away from home" job which is why I pay daycare and not for a nanny, which is essentially what you have. It's somewhat unfair to assume that you can pay people who come to your home and only watch your kids less then you would pay for a daycare rate. I'm assuming that the woman who used to watch them was an in-home daycare. Daycares can charge less because if you have 10 kids paying 3 dollars an hour, that is 30 dollars an hour! Coming to your home, they are only making money off of your kids and you, plus they have to pay for gas to get there, and they have bills to pay as well. I thought you were going to say 30-35 an hour. Then I might've been on your side . . . .

ADDED:

Okay so I read the SWH. I could kind of be on your side more. If she agreed to it before hand, then it's a little annoying for her to demand more at the last minute. She should've had an idea before she went in. Chances are someone talked to her and told her that she could make a lot more based on your area or something and she decided to change her mind. Negotiation is supposed to happen before you fully accept a job. It'll be a lesson for her to learn later on in life. Also, if it's only for two, for my area it would be high. I got paid 10 dollars/hour for two little ones and if it was last minute, I got paid 12/hour. I don't know how much you originally offered though.

Wait how does the weekly pay thing work? It sounds like you're actually paying for an extra day of babysitting each week, which seems a little off to me. Or you're shorting them a day? Or is it that you know in a two week period they should get paid XX amount and so you divide it in half and pay them that way.

Honestly, I think you should just put the kids in daycare. It's cheaper then having these girls come to your home. 8 dollars is a little low for college students when watching two young kids. Like I said I pay my high schooler 8 for 1 kid and I got paid 10-12 for two kids when I was in college. Plus, I didn't live in CA where things are much more expensive. And all the people stating that she should make less then the licensed daycare providers seem to have no grasp of how daycare rates actually work. I encourage them to look at the first part of my response to see if they can understand it.

She is freaking dilusional. I would challenge her to find any licensed, state approved day care center that charges near that.
I don't care what kind of bind you are in. I would have laughed in her face.

None of us can say why she waited till the last minute to change her mind and IMO, jumping to the conclusion that she did it on purpose is pretty negative thinking on your part....why not give her the benefit of the doubt?

I can not answer how fair or unfair I think her request is w/out knowing how much you offered to pay her and what her hours would be and how many children she would be watching as well as their ages...I think this all needs to be accounted for in determining a a fair price.

Is she watching all four of your kids all day? If so, I honestly do not think that is a bad price. You pay less at a daycare because there are more kids...but you pay more for in home care. I agree it's a lot of money, but not sure you may find many people to do it for much less (not sure how much you had offered her). Plus she's driving to your house (not sure how far) so she may be calculating gas prices. I see you live in CA so I know the cost of living is higher out there but I think the going rate is around $5-10/hour for 2 kids here. Talk to her and see about paying her a daily or weekly rate insteae of hourly. I pay a good friend $75/day when he watches my two kids (which equals out to around $9.37/hour) but I take them to his house.

Was it the most tactful and proper way to tell you? No but unfortunatley in our social age, a lot of people say and do things over text, FB, etc that used to only occur in face to face (or at least telephone) conversations. People are losing the art of communication beause they do not have to face people face to face!

Good luck finding a babysitter!

I missed how many children you have....

That said, my 16 yr old babysits on a regular basis for 3 families for date nights and she averages $12-$15 per hour. Once family has 3 children 7 and under, one has 1 child 4 yrs old, and one has 6 yr old twins.

I realize you are not looking at "date night" sitter and you need someone who will make a committment to you.

I would be upset that she waited until you are in a bind to tell you no thank you. That seems a bit passive aggressive to me and certainly not professional.

Fortunately, I have only used child care for date nights, etc. and I do not know any going rates for weekly sitters. Many people charge $5/child/hour.

Hopefully you can work it out quickly and not be in a bind.

Im not sure how much to charge but I wouldn't pay a babysitter more than what I make an hour! He'll, I used to charge 100/wk and that included meals regardless of age. I shoulda asked for more!! And yes I think she did it so you would be in a bind and have no other choice. Sneaky sneaky

I don't think $16 an hour is way off of what she should be paid for 2 kids. Maybe you can compromise at $14? I do know that $8 is WAY too low. I used to teach preschool and nanny and there is no way I would take only $8 an hour. If not, I hope you can find someone else in time.

Tell her no thank you and good riddance. She is taking advantage of you. She could find a job in child care that fir with her school scedule and she'd make much less and have many, many more children in her classes. School kids can be up to 20, babies are 4 to one teacher. She'd have it easy at your house.

just tell her that is not an option for you and that she can either work for the previously stated pay or you will find someone else immediately.
have you tried care.com? there are TONS of sitters on that site and most of them ask for less than 10 an hour.

I think it's extremely unreasonable. $16 a day for a 9 hour day (if you work full time and commute) is $144 a day. She was $300 a week for 2 days and $450 for 3. Can you other sitter pick up the slack? You are in a bind, so you can pay her, but definitely look around so you can let her go quickly.

Unfortunately the methodology that you used to come up with how much you want to pay is not going to work. You will always pay less if you take your kids to an in-home day care or day care center than you would for a nanny. Regardless if you are calling them sitters or nannies. I have had a nanny for my one child since she was 3 months old. I pay $500 a week plus all of the gas and money for activities. I have had two different gals both college kids or just graduated etc. The price for child care especially if you want the convenience of a nanny has definately gone up. I interviewed some gals who wanted $20 an hour for one child. I will say that you will save money on not having to take days off for sick kids - nannies come no matter what. If you were taking them to a daycare they would not be allowed to go if they were sick but most of them still charge you for the days they are not there. I don't think the girl meant any disrespect on waiting to tell you she probably just did the math and realized that she would not be making enough. If you are only paying them each for 3 days at $8/hr that's $192 a week - that is not much for anyone to live off of. I don't know if these girls live at home or what but they definately wouldn't be able to afford rent, car payment insurance most of things people have to pay for. I took home $300 a week after taxes when I was in college and that was 10 years ago - and I barely got by after paying all of my bills and for school.