Would This Annoy You?

Well, it didn't annoy me (when it happened to me), it mad me sad.

:(

I was also the caretaker of all the family relationships, including my in-laws and their kids. Especially regarding holidays, birthdays, etc.

So when I left, I DID continue to make an effort to maintain those relationships, at the very least so my kids would know their cousins, sigh. But it didn't go well. My calls were rarely answered. It made them all uncomfortable.

In fact, the entire Carey family has become very disjointed since I am no longer allowed to bring them all together.

It's something beyond my control, J.. Now my kids are teenagers, they HAVE developed a minor electronic relationship with their cousins, exclusive of any adults, which I think is AWESOME. But we haven't been close like we were since I left.

:(

Did they FB message him or email his personal email? Maybe they don't have your email address? But then why not reply to your message?
Yes--annoying.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Here we go folks!
Fasten your seat belt, it's going to be a bumpy holiday ride!

Hmm. Yep. Sorry to say it, slightly ashamed to say it, but yes...It would annoy me.
I would try to be part of the family (BUT NOT CHANGE), but if it doesn't work out after a couple years, then either it's my husband's job to deal with his family (as evidenced by the email to him instead of replying to you), or it just gets dropped. You don't have to focus on the negative (this group), but just be happy and focus on the positive (your own family and any extended family that want to act like family).
I'm not a tit for tat kind of person, but another thing that would really aggravate me would be that your daughter doesn't get gifts, but they really did send an email to your husband with what their children want? WOW. If you sent me that email, and I didn't want to reciprocate with gifts (meaning for ANY reason including financial inability), I would just reply with "Wow, that's so sweet and generous of you, but no gift needed! Let's just get together and play this season". I would not tell you suggestions on what to buy my kids if I wasn't going to get yours something. That's just...WEIRD.

Once your husband has forwarded you the emails, respond back from YOUR email... hopefully they'll get the picture and contact you directly in the future.

Things like this have happened to me before, but they weren't trying to shun me, they just felt more comfortable answering to my husband, no big deal.

Yes, that would annoy me. But not enough to do anything about it.

I only read a couple responses but I am taking a different approach here. The easiest thing to do is say this is my traditions and now they are our traditions. Well easy on the person, most of the time the new family gives a big middle finger which is what it sounds like they did.

At least to me part of a marriage is taking two different traditions and making them into one new one for your family unit. This would mean continuing to give gifts to your side of the family, not giving gifts to his side of the family and teaching your children whichever way you decide.

So to answer the question no it wouldn't annoy me because I would have expected that response and blame no one but myself.

Just my take mind you.

Read your so what happened, you have a nutty family too. Roll with it or it will drive you nuts.

I agree that you should respond to them with your e mail and maybe add something about how you would like to get the e mails since your husband may forget what they said, that may help get your point across. If that deosn't seem to work you may need to just call them and let them know how you feel. all you cna do is try!

Why can't your DH just tell them that they need to contact you about it? He shouldn't be playing their game.

If I felt like being a real BI!@$, I would play their game. I'd wait about a week or so before Christmas and email them saying you never heard back, so you guess the gift giving isn't going to happen this year. Meanwhile I would have bought the gifts they told your husband anyway. Make them see how it feels. When you're finally contacted, (and you know you will be), I'd be all sugary sweet and say that your husband can't be counted on for relaying messages, so all correspondence about Christmas should go through you.

On the other hand, if I felt like being nice, I'd call her and say you got the message through your husband, but only after you mentioned Christmas and to please email you directly and ask her to grab a pen and paper to write down your email.

If she doesn't "get it" after this. The tradition would be off. I don't have time for people who can't communicate directly.

Tis the season!!!!!

Well I'd let my husband do the shopping of gifts for them then!

OMG, my husband's sister won't call/email me directly, even when I personally contact her & give her my info for responding back to me. She always has her mother (my MIL) respond back! I don't get it, she doesn't seem to have an issue with me, but you know...if she can't be bothered to communicate directly with me, (I know, I know) I passive-aggressively can't always be bothered to contact her. I waffle between feeling "WHATEVER" about it to being totally POd, right or wrong.

Anyhoo, these people must know by now that you're buying for their children, right? And they do understand that it's YOU doing the shopping, not your hubby? It's completely ignorant of them to contact him! ESPECIALLY since YOU initiated the conversation! While you probably want to get the kids something they'd really like or particularly need, you may just consider winging it & save yourself the aggravation. Let them be annoyed (if they'd even be bothered by it) that you didn't initiate the contact about what the perfect gift might be. Perhaps there's a family member who does communicate appropriately that you can check in with for ideas. If not, buy them something loud & annoying ;)

I used to get "some" people Christmas presents, and when I got something from them, it was always something very wrong. Something even a stranger would know I wouldn't wear. One year I asked my hubby to select what he would like to get them, and washed my hands of them. ;-)