Would I Just Be a Bad Person?

I would say no. It's not ok to be selfish this time, or any other time, when you're talking about a child with a terminal illness.
You're pregnant, not sick. You're uncomfortable, he's in real pain. You're tired, he's on medication that is literally poisoning his body in hopes of killing the cancer cells, while the healthy cells die too.
You have other days to relax and veg on the couch. Go to the early Easter, go to the benefit, leave a little early if you need to, but don't skip it to revel in some alone time and napping.

the last month of preg is horrible tiring and miserable... If you do not feel up to it. skip.. it for the day and rest.. when will you get to rest after the baby is born.. NEVER>>

It's Easter, not just another weekend get together or family meal. I'd go and sit on the couch with my feet up when the egg hunt was over. There's nothing except labor and delivery that would keep me away from watching the kids hunt eggs and have so much fun.

I'd find a way to do it.

Taking time for yourself is not selfish.
However, you should go to this Easter. We have friends whose son is fighting Leukemia for the 5th f'in time. It's so messed up.
You say "unfortunate" and "honestly there's a party once a month" and I say, this mama is fighting a fight you NEVER want to fight.
You go, uncomfortably big and pregnant, you sit on a chair or couch, and you show your love and support for a family that has been living a nightmare.

Take 2 cars go for dinner. Then leave. And leave the kids with hubby. Then go out your feet up.

No it is not selfish. The fact that his problem is a disease and yours is a pregnancy does not make your discomfort any less.
If I have a sprained ankle and you have a skull fracture, the fact that your injury is worse than mine does not make my ankle hurt less, and does not obligate me to bake cookies for you.

I completely understand that at this stage of pregnancy, you just want the baby out because of the uncomfortable nature of being pregnant.

Personally, I could not live with myself if I skipped out on a terminally ill relative so I could put my feet up. If I did that, I would feel horrible guilt the whole time I was "enjoying" myself.

I agree with others on taking 2 cars, make your appearance ( I bet they completely understand you heading home vs to the benefit) and you have shown support by being there for part of the time.

To completely skip this event could possibly have negative effects on your future relationship with your husband's family and could be seen as a slap in the face to those who are bending over backwards to get this sick child all the help he needs.

I can't imagine having a child that sick and facing possibly losing my child. Stress for your family is off the charts and any little action could set someone off in the wrong way.

I hope you have a great delivery and I pray for your little nephew.

Be thankful for your healthy children and go! Be thankful you live near your family and go! Be thankful he's still fighting this awful disease and go!

Yes, you sound selfish. But, I have a sick child (complex heart defects), so I have a completely different perspective.

No it's not ok to be selfish and stay home with your feet up.
Sorry--that's not what a loving family member does.
In these types of decisions, I ask myself what I'd the situation was reversed.
What if your kid was fighting for his/her life and your sister-in-law wanted to stay home with her feet up? That's how you will be perceived by everyone else.
Don't miss this Easter and do what you can regarding the benefit.

I think that you really need to make an appearance...I cannot imagine how horrible this situation is for the rest of the family. However, like others have said, I would take a separate car and simply not stay the entire day. Make sure to interact with your nephew and your SIL for a few minutes so they know that you made an effort. This is just one of those things that you really need to suck it up for in the name of family. I would not stay long though...I get that you are just exhausted.

I totally hear u but can u take two cars and go home early? Can u find some other alone time in the next 2 weeks?

sweetie, of course not. if they were relying on you to put something together you might have to marshall your strength and soldier on, but you NEED to rest and take yourself right now.
surely your husband's family will understand that, right?
send your family and enjoy your day.
i'm so sorry about your poor little nephew. many prayers for him.
khairete
S.

Yes it is ok to stay home. It is not selfish it is taking care of your baby and you. So sorry about the leukemia, but your going to the party will not change those circumstances. You are going to have a baby soon! congrats!

Those last weeks of pregnancy are so draining, I remember well. I hear you.

But it sounds as if you are conflicted.. so part of you feels you could still go, right? Could you go for a short while?

I find when I can't attend something that will go on the whole day because of my health, then I just pop by (stay an hour) to give my regards.

I am sure that you could say "I just wanted to come wish everyone well this Easter, but unfortunately I'm just not able to stay for the dinner/auction .. " kind of thing.

If you really are not up for that, I'm sure they would understand. It's really how you handle it. It's not selfish - you're putting yourself first, but I am guessing you will feel badly if you don't attend at all.

Good luck and well wishes for the next two weeks :) Happy times!

First of all, taking care of yourself isn't selfish! You need your strength. The family will manage without you and it's okay! Your husband and kids would go, and that's great! It's plenty. It's enough.

If YOU would feel badly, and if there is a part of this series of events that would be more enjoyable for you, then go to that only. Either take 2 cars, as others have suggested (and ONLY if you don't feel too tired to drive yourself), or just have your husband and kids go for a short part with you, and then all of you leave. Only you can decide which way would be better for you.

This sounds like a large and supportive family, and I can't believe that people who do so much for this child would fault you for taking care of your almost-here child. I don't think you have to make a whole lot of excuses for whatever decision you make.

I do think it is selfish to not go, he is a child and he needs all the support he can get. That said, it is up to you if you go or not and I am sure people will understand (even if they feel it was a little selfish of you).

The last month of pregnancy was exhausting for me.
For the last month and then the first 8 weeks of getting use to dealing with a newborn I couldn't handle social occasions.
Stay home this time around then see how you feel the next few months.
Send a gift with your husband.

I couldn't live with myself if treatment didn't go well and I didn't go. I'm sure they will understand if you need to sit around there and have your feet up and be waited on.

I was happy to read his cousins and uncle will go even you do not.

I think you should try to go, but since you are due in 2 weeks, you do have a reason to stay home and rest.

Can you just call your sister in law and let her know that you aren't feeling well and will be staying home? If they know up front that you won't be there then I can't see it being a problem when your hubby and kids show up without you. The last month of being pregnant stinks for the most part so putting your feet up and taking it easy it perfectly acceptable.

Call in sick. No one will hold it against you in the big picture. You do care, you're just not well enough to go to this particular event. Your family will be there to represent. No one has to know You COULD drag yourself there with bionic force despite loads of fatigue. Don't be Superwoman. Your body is telling you to lay low. Listen. I overdid it during two pregnancies, (not my fault though, no one was there to help me while husband traveled) and I paid big consequences both times in bed rest and one early, traumatic birth.

Such divided answers! I'm with Suz T. I think if you do not feel well enough to go then you should stay home. While I understand that pregnancy cannot be compared with leukemia, it is still very important for you to take care of yourself. I say stay home, send your family with your best regards, and relax.

I'm curious what your husband thinks. I imagine his opinion would be valuable and fair. Talk with him about it.

Finally, I think it's doubtful that this boy would really miss you specifically and be upset that you are not there. Unless you are the favorite auntie/relative, then you should be able to miss it without him even noticing. Hoping you feel well and are able to make this tough choice!

Can you go to the egg hunt but send your family to the evening events without you?

It really depends on how much you think it would mean to the family if you were there. If you are not very close with them, then it might not matter. But if you know your being there would mean a lot to them and be helpful, then I guess you have to go.

There are people I like a lot whom I might not necessarily need or want around in times of great stress. If I were overwhelmed, I wouldn't personally want a bunch of people I would feel I needed to cater to or talk to. But they might be the kind of people who like lots of people around for support.

How close are they, distance wise, to you? Is there family from your area also going? If YOU would feel bad if you didn't go, go with hubby and make an appearance, let the host/hostess know that you're having a hard time but wanted to visit for as long as you could, then catch a ride home, either with hubby or other family that could also leave early.

I think they would understand but I would consider going for a short time with hubs and the kids, or driving separately, if you can drive on your own and they aren't far away. I'm sure they will understand if you are not up to it though if you are super nice with your decline. Good luck.