Worth Moving to Be in a "Kid Neighborhood"?

Updated on November 18, 2013
J.R. asks from Fraser, MI
25 answers

We live in a subdivision with very few kids. I sometimes feel bad for my kids. They only have each other to play with. I notice that the sub behind us is much more kid oriented. Sometimes I think we should move so my kids could be around other kids more and I'm wondering if that would be crazy? They would be in the same school. It seems hard sometimes to schedule playdates, especially for both kids at the same time. Any thoughts?

Thanks,

J.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Neighborhoods are not static.
They change all the time.
Families have babies and move up to bigger houses.
Kids graduate high school, leave for college and then families move out looking to down size.
Job transfers happen and whole families pick up and move.
In the neighborhood I grew up in it varied quite a bit between when we moved in and when I left after college.
Kids moved in and out all the time.
If the schools are good and I like my house/yard (and there are no feuds going on with crazy neighbors) then there's no reason to leave.

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

Well, I can tell you that my daughter just did this very thing. The kid's in the new neighborhood all go to the same school and it is wonderful. Playdates are not a problem because everyone just plays at each others houses. I think great friendships are forming. I see a big difference in them because of the new neighborhood.

Updated

Well, I can tell you that my daughter just did this very thing. The kid's in the new neighborhood all go to the same school and it is wonderful. Playdates are not a problem because everyone just plays at each others houses. I think great friendships are forming. I see a big difference in them because of the new neighborhood.

Updated

Well, I can tell you that my daughter just did this very thing. The kid's in the new neighborhood all go to the same school and it is wonderful. Playdates are not a problem because everyone just plays at each others houses. I think great friendships are forming. I see a big difference in them because of the new neighborhood.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't move for that reason, but we are staying put for that reason. We would love to be on an acre or more with a pool, but we can't justify losing the neighborhood to gain the country feel. Kids are 10 & 11, we are in a safe enough neighborhood that I can let them go out and roam with their friends (within boundaries and with a cell phone, I'm not loco). I actually had a nostalgic moment the other day when I told my son that when the street lights came on that meant he had to come home. I love having a bunch of kids in the neighborhood, my yard, my house, eating my food, lol. Wouldn't trade it, we're here till they graduate.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

I have lived in my neighborhood for 15 years. There are 276 family units in our development. In all of the time I have lived here, my now 17 year old daughter has had a grand total of one friend in this neighborhood. That one friend now lives in another state because her mother got transferred at her job. Not that she doesn't have friends, she just never clicked with the neighborhood kids. So, no, I would not recommend moving solely to be around more children, because your kids will make friends regardless of the makeup of your neighborhood. Now if you are looking to move and you find your dream house, well that's another post isn't it......

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If the school is good, yes, totally worth it!

We loved living on a street with a lot of families, with children our daughters age. The schools are also excellent.

We have made lifelong friends with these people.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Yes, that's crazy.

First of all, how do you know your kids and the kids in the new neighborhood would get along? People move, new neighbors move in. There's not guarantee.

Yes, it can be difficult to schedule play dates for 2 kids of different ages at the same time. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.

Rather than scheduling a play date, why not take your kids to places where they can interact and play with other kids, like the play ground or story time a the library.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Remember there's no guarantee your kids will be friends with other kids just because they're neighbors. In fact, you could end up around people you don't like at all (just read some of the posts about this topic on here!)
At first I was sad we moved to a pretty much kid free area, but it's worked out just fine. We have our daily privacy, nobody peeking over our fence or knocking on the door. And all three of my kids have ALWAYS had friends over to play. Many, many friends over the years. Sure it takes a little more effort to arrange but you get used to it. And I never concerned myself with whether they all had friends over at once. Sometimes it worked out that way, but if my son's friend was free to come over and play for a while I wasn't going to say no just because my daughter couldn't find anyone. Sometimes it was the boys, sometimes the girls and sometimes everyone at once!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Is there a park in the the neighborhood? That would be a better solution to having more friends to play with.

My neighborhood has kids, but they don't play. I keep my daughter busy with various sports. Yesterday she went swimming (indoors) and then went ice skating with a friend. If we didn't have that, we would be at a park. You could also take him for a bike ride in that area with you little one and he could stop and make friends with those children. Our two subdivisions have an entrance from one to another. Hopefully that is the case.

If you move, the other families could just as easy move. More families could move into your area and other families could move out. Moves are too expensive.

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

Totally would do it if I could afford it. We are surrounded by many renters so kids come and go. I hate it.

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R.X.

answers from Houston on

When those neighborhood kids become teens, you will want to move back to your quiet neighborhood....

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If it won't disrupt your life and be financially unaffordable, then yes, it's worth moving into a "kid neighborhood." It's one of the things I regret we weren't able to give our kids, for various reasons. It's fun for them and it makes your life easier.

But after about the age of 12 it doesn't make that much of a difference. So if your kids are older, don't move unless you have other reasons to do so.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Be careful what you wish for. Personally, I'd rather sign my kid up to sports activities instead of have them play daily with the neighborhood kids. I live in a kid zone. It has its pros and cons. We are a hockey family, thankfully. When we are home, our house is the hangout house, so we get kids quite a bit. Sometimes, I feel like a free babysitter. You'll find that some parents will take advantage of you also. Be prepared to not only watch their kids, but feed their kids, take them to school and deal with the drama. It's great being the hangout house because you can keep an eye on them. You never really know how other parents parent either.

We had an incident at my house just this week where I lost my temper at my son in front of his friends. Well, the one friend's mother calls me and tells me that her son will no longer hang out with us. Mind you, I yelled at MY son...not her son, so be prepared for some awkwardness if things aren't rosy all the time.

I rather invest in extracurricular activities like sports, dance, or a church group.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would not move. I would find people for them to play with, and encourage them to make friends in school or activities. You cannot guarantee that friends will be in the neighborhood (people move, kids don't get along) and a move is not a minor thing to do. We lived here 5 or 6 years before a rental property was sold and the new family happened to have a girl about my DD's age. I consider us very lucky. Even without the neighbor girl, the kids always had friends. Just not next door.

You can also do things like drive to the other neighborhood if they have a playground and set the kids loose. See who they play with.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I would say no. If you like your home and are in an area that is 10 minutes to the kid mecca, I wouldn't move. Just as soon as you get settled in good the dynamics of that neighborhood will shift. The kids will change sports, groups, grow up move out and you will be in the same boat. Nothing lasts forever.

When we moved into our home 20 years or so back my kids older were the only ones on our block. We had a few younger kids move in but they were babies or early school age. The block has never become a kid zone. It has been peaceful and I do know my neighbors with little people.

Enjoy what you have. As others have mentioned there comes a time when the other kids' families will move or downsize.

I, too, always wanted my home to be the hangout but it didn't happen for various reasons.

the other S.

PS Now they are grown and I enjoy what I have.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't move. My daughter plays with kids in the neighborhood, but the parents have lots of rules - no playing in their house so they're always at my house. Many times I'm fine with that; sometimes I want to lock the doors and keep them all out. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but as they get older they'll make an effort to invite kids over they like. There's a lot of neighbor drama with my kid and the others - some will want to play together but one girl is always outside and joins in whether she's wanted or not. My advice is to stay where you are.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i suppose it's easy for me to say since we lucked into one of those awesome 'kid neighborhoods' when the boys were small, but no, i wouldn't move for that reason alone. you have no clue whether or not your kids will like the ones in the new neighborhood, or even if YOU will like them enough to want your kids to hang out with them.
when we moved out to this little farm we were tickled to see a boy next door about my older son's age. he came over and introduced himself and invited my son to play, but they never clicked.
it's terrific when your kids can walk out the door and have ready-made community, but there are so many components to finding the right home for the entire family. for us that meant LEAVING the friendly neighborhood even though it meant we had to be more pro-active about our kids' social lives.
can your kids just walk or bike to the nearby neighborhood if they have friends there?
khairete
S.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I would do it in a heartbeat. Some of my family members did this, and it was great for their kids.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Ask your husband or a real estate agent just how much it's going to cost you to do this. When you find out, and you should, then you might consider it to be worth more of an effort to go over to the other sub nearby and get to know some people.

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J.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

we love our kid friendly cul-de-sac. my kids are almost 14 yrs, 9 1/2 yrs and 7 1/2 yrs. we moved here when my oldest was 4 1/2 yrs old.
there are 2 other families with children the same age as ours.

before you move..i would drive around and actually look for kids playing outside. dont just look for the swingsets. i have spoken to many people and they said they moved into thinking there were a ton of kids because there was so many swingsets ...then the kids in that neighborhood never or rarely play outside.
I think my kids playing with the neigh kids is the best ..other then there own siblings they have played with the neigh kids the longest. i love when my kids are playing outside.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

we chose our home based on the kids in the neighborhood.

the end.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

Playdates are too chaotic so we don't do them.
But we'd meet up at other places. Just not our houses!
So really the neighborhood itself isn't #1 for meeting kids. As long as some are around the town...

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J.S.

answers from Richland on

Why not walk there? There are three sections to our subdivision, 140 homes, our kids play all over the subdivision. I can't imagine that is any different than playing in the subdivision behind you.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't, but I actually like that my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of kids. There is one family that we are close with. They live a few doors down on the adjacent street. Their kids go to school with my kids and are the same ages and my older two. We have very similar parenting styles and respect each other's boundaries (I don't let my kids run down to her house after school, as I know she wants her kids to start their homework immediately). There is one other girl my daughter's age, and they play occasionally. I would HATE it if I had tons of kids hanging around, traipsing through my house, popping over at dinner time and asking my kids to come out and play at times when I'd rather they be in.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

If you wouldn't feel like you'd be leaving anything behind in your current neighborhood, then it sounds like moving is a great idea. My neighborhood doesn't have a ton of kids and I often wish we could move one neighborhood over, too. But, I like my house more than any of the models in the other neighborhood, so we're staying put. We can walk to the other one in 5-10 minutes, so it's not like we're far, but we are a separate HOA so we have different community pools, etc.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Unless you can find the perfect house and your house sells right when you need it I wouldn't do it. The hassle of moving, selling, looking to buy, it's just way too much stress just to have more kids for the little ones.

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