Worst Birthday Party Ever! What's Yours?

You're moving, so it's best to let this all go... as for parties... Just this one child's where the kid's parents and relatives all stayed upstairs in their house (a somewhat messy house at that) and the guests were all down in the yard... it was just weird.. then when it came time to blow out the bday candles, an uncle of the child pushed the 8 yr old's head into the cake (as a joke) but it wasn't funny to me or the kid who ran off and cried. I was embarrassed for the kid.. not to mention, the family went on to serve the cake with the head imprint in it.. needless to say, I passed :)

Ugh. You don't get that usually with boys. 😜

I do remember O. Kindergarden party that my son attended where the birthday boy booted his lunch right in the McDonalds party room. Twice. Gross!

You could have called the girl's mom and told her to come pick up her daughter.
Don't punish your daughter because of this girl. Birthdays should always be celebrated, it's the only day each year you get to celebrate wonderful you.

Okay, I get that you are upset, I would be too. As a Girl Scout leader for many years I've dealt with my fair share of girl (and mom) drama.
So take a hot bath, have a large glass of wine and try to relax.
Changing schools doesn't mean you'll never have to deal with kids like this again. Jerks (and immature, possibly troubled kids) are a part of life, everywhere.
So I hope you aren't REALLY done with birthday parties, for your daughter's sake at least.
Her social life is going to become more and more important to her, especially as she transitions into a teenager.
Parenting isn't for the weak, you need a thicker skin mama! Don't let the bastards get you down! (I forget who said that but it seems relevant here lol!)

One of the last reasons I would move my child or family would be because of someone else's child. It sure does give the other people a lot of power over you.

A poor education is the only reason I would consider moving.

You are the adult, and the parent.

I am going to bet, your daughter is very astute and realizes that this "friend" has run her course. I recall certain times as a child where it became very apparent to me, I was just not growing in my maturity at the same rate as others. Some kids are just mean. Some have not been taught manners, some really are so insecure, they have to put down others.

My mom spoke with me all of the time by asking me about relationships and how to behave, feelings etc. I used to do this with our daughter also.

"How did it make you feel when...said... to.,., ?"
"What do you think would have been a better way to...?"

"What should we do about this?"

"What do YOU want to do about this?"

"What do you see is the problem here?"

Kids need to realize we notice and we hear what is going on, but that we also know they know better.

Each of these situations is a chance to learn how to handle it on their own. ALso to let them understand some people are just not nice but it is not our responsibility to have to put up with their behaviors.

11 yrs old? 5th or 6th grade this next year?
The friends situation will totally change.

Again in 8th grade and 9th.. Then at the end of 11th and definitely once they graduate from High School.. It is what it is. We out row childish things/people.

Sorry it was such a rough time for you.

I have also been there. I told the girl "I was really disappointed in her behavior, because I knew her mother was so nice and her mothers feelings were going to be very hurt, when I was going to have to tell hr how her daughter had behaved. "

It's a shame that one little weasel ruined it for you. Hopefully not completely for your daughter too.

If that stuff starts up while I'm the adult in charge I just say something like "One more rude remark and you'll need to have your parents come pick you up" or "we don't tolerate people speaking badly about our friends and whispering in groups, please be kind so-ad-so".

I have two girls and while there has been a few "drama" issues over the years it has always been from a distance. If a close friend were to show that type of character to my girls, they'd not want to be friends anymore. I think we should all expect more from our girls in general. It seems that "boys will be boys" applies to females as well, just in a different way. I'm tried of hearing people excuse it as a right of passage.

Sorry the party was ruined for you. Next time shut that behavior down for the sake of your daughter and your own sanity.

ETA: AL, I don't know if you'll see this or not, but your post about worst birthday party ever "takes the cake" so to speak... WOW~!

Original:
I agree with Rev Ruby. I would have done that in a New York minute and I would have dressed that gal down in front of all the rest of the girls. It's like when girls pass "notes" in class and the teacher grabs the notes and reads them out loud for all the class to hear. It's okay to TELL when a girl is being a bully. And to DEMAND that she apologize to all the girls for her foolishness. For crying out loud, it was a birthday party for YOUR child and you paid for it. You had every right to control her - not just try to do damage control.

Next year, do a slumber party at your house for 5 or less girls, and hire a college student who does nails, makeup and simple updo's for a "spa night". They can watch pre-approved movies and the college student can stay up with them to make sure everyone is having a good time. Pay her for that too. Be sure you know what kind of gal she is and that she is appropriate at keeping the girls in line, but entertaining so that the girls have someone interesting enough to keep them from picking on each other.

And don't invite the meannie...

No one is ever too old for birthday parties. Yes, I agree separate the girls, but don't let on to your daughter of your motive.

Last year I had a backyard party for my five year old. She invited a few people I didn't. One was an 8 year old neighbor who has a mean streak (she was not invited to their parties a few doors down), and the other was a teen who babysat her in the past but is quite the drama queen.
It turned out to be our first 100+ degree day of the summer. I had friends from out of town that had spent the night so I was trying to set up/playing hostess (don't know why I thought they would help?). It was a wipeout party, but I didn't get it all set up because I was melting! I had to take a
second shower just b4 the guests arrived.
Drama queen was one of the first guests and showed up complaining
about her pain from a recent tubing accident. The boy came next with his
sister-mom dropped them so she could go back to work! No problem!
The boy was squirting everyone and spraying them with the hose. My other
half unplugged the hose from the slip and slide and put it in the bouncy
house my friends were nice enough to loan us! I ended up threatening the
boy and my 9 year old with a time out. My mom went in the house to do dishes for me and the kitchen flooded (had to replace the garbage disposal)!!! UGH
My kids don't get parties every year (with friends). So from now on the party kid picks an option with a paid hostess!

i'm a little taken aback to hear about little girls (and boys) given so much power they're allowed to wreck someone else's party. is it no longer acceptable to give a rotten kid an ultimatum like 'knock it off right now or i'll call your mom to come here and pick you up'?
but i'm really aghast to hear that people MOVE over it.
i must be missing something.
khairete
S.

I wouldn't say the party itself was the worst ever, but......

We planned on my husband picking up one child on his way home from work (large family and on his way home so he had offered). He ended up having to pick up another child because his mom couldnt'/wouldn't bring him (we know him from church - he comes with his grandma, not his mom). Two brothers that we invited got sick and couldn't make it. Another close friend got sick and had a fever so HE couldn't come. Another little boy couldn't come because his mom was sick with bronchitis. I ended up picking HIM up since the list of guests seemed to be dwindling. We had only invited a few since we have a small house. At the end of the party I drove ALL but one kid home. The kid whose mom wouldn't bring him didn't know his address and lives on a busy road so I passed by it twice while he said "It's right there!" Then after the party we found out that a guest had stolen one of my son's Bey Blades (turned out to be the kid that didn't know his address).

A fun time was had by my son, but I was exhausted!!!

I understand. I'm kinda of done with parties myself. I find the parents of the classmates are usually hard to talk to, there's at least one bratty kid who complains that the party is not up to her standards. I work so hard planning and then am frustrated towards the end.

My son's 6th birthday was at a park with a train. I rented the shelter that was available. It was very far away from the playground and the train. My husband was feeling sick and after he picked up the pizza, he left the party early, leaving it up to my me and my mother-in-law. Not many kids showed up and most were late. I went to a lot of trouble making a homemade train cake. The kids thought it was neat, but the parents didn't seem impressed. When it was time to cut the cake, I suddenly realized that I forgot the plastic utensils. I was so humiliated when I and everybody else realized we had nothing to eat the cake with except our hands. I saved the day when I begged another party if I could pay them for some plastic forks. The kind lady gave me the forks for free. She couldn't have been nicer about it. Then we ran out of lemonade, so I was embarrassed about that.

The next year, we kept it simple and just had a family party at a local miniature golf place. No kids, just us and we had a ball.

I hate living in the country, I abhor it. But we moved out of town so our kiddo could get away from a kid like this. It's hard. I'm glad they're not going to be together next year.

Start getting your girl set up to meet some kids she'll be going to school with.

My daughter's 5th birthday was at Burger King. They had nothing ready. No cake no food. NOTHING!!

Her party had been there the previous year and it was great so I was very surprised. She was disappointed and the cake was frozen. BUT on the up side, I got everything for free! =)

Never had a party there again for her or her little brother.

It hasn't happened yet, but I am not looking forward to the next birthday party. I have noticed the girls are beginning to make clicks and then talking about each other. With that, I think the days of including everyone are over.

Sounds like very typical 11 year old girl behavior. You may not want to assume your child was so innocent in it, most 11 year old girls gossip and take sides against each other, it is just how they are. If you let this one girl ruin the party for you that is sad, I am sure your daughter was looking to you for how to handle the problem gracefully and she may have let your frustration contribute to her feeling her day was ruined.

My kids are 14 and 11 and we have NEVER had the typical bday party for them. Depending on the event, movie, bowling, laser tag, roller rink, etc, they were allowed to invite 1-3 friends. That's it! It has always been so easy and drama free. Good luck for next time.

Try not to dwell on it too much. Talk about the wonderful moments and build up those memories for your daughter. Don't give the mean girl the power.

I have not dealt with that yet. I was going to say go to an early outside party in the freezing cold.