my friend is 20 yrs old.and nearing 8 months pregnant.she has not gone to even 1 dr.appointment.she has a little pain pill(lortab/percocet),and xanex addiction.she also smoke pot(i don't know if that matters).as well a she takes saboxin when she doesn't have pain pills,so she doesn't"detox".he "husband"supplies her with these medications,as he feels it is better for her n the baby to not detox.I love my friend dearly,but i fear so much not only about what could happen to the baby but also because what is this obgyn in this very very small town when my friend shows up(8mos pregnant) next week in his office for the very first time? will he call cps for her not seeking an obgyn before now?what should i advise her?
M., if you care anything about this baby, you will call CPS and talk about it with them. What a terrible couple these people are.
She will deliver, they will test her and the baby, baby will be positive for exposure, they will call CPS who will likely remove the baby and place it in foster care, where it will be taken care of appropriately and given love. This is a drug-exposed child and will need extra pediatric attention and may have long-term physical and mental-health related issues due to ongoing drug exposure.
Shame on your friend and her husband.
(Yes, it's judgemental ... But no unborn child asked for this and no child EVER deserves to be treated this way. The baby deserves better parents.)
Not sure if this is a legitimate question, but I'll answer it as though it is, in the interest of making a public service announcement.
I am a student EMT. Assuming I pass the state exam next week, I'll be fully licensed and certified.
And, we are trained to deliver babies. In the back of ambulances, in patients' homes, on the sidewalk, wherever. We also have protocols for bringing laboring women to the ER. If we suspect that a child has contracted drugs in utero, we are legally mandated to notify CPS.
Doctors work under the same exact mandates. OBs, ER docs and nurses, everyone. The difference between an OB-GYN and someone like me is years upon years (decades, really) of professional training and vast amounts of knowledge.
In other words, whether your friend sees the OB or not, sooner or later some medical professional is going to come into the picture. And that person will be mandated to notify CPS. It's just a question of whether that medical professional has more or less medical training. CPS, and the courts, will likely look more favorably upon this woman if she seeks some kind of prenatal care.
You tell your friend to go to the doctor. You go to the doctor with your friend to make sure she goes.
You do not tell her that her child will be drug tested after he/she is born, you do not tell her that CPS will take that baby away from her. You do not tell her that she is killing her child and creating a drug dependant infant who will most likely need additional support their entire life. I say you do not tell her all these things, let the doctor address it - here is the other thing, if she is stressed she may do/take MORE drugs and cause more harm to that growing baby.
I have heard of CPS taking a pregnant woman into custody and helping her get clean while pregnant, but I am not sure if it will/won't happen in this case. I think the best thing you can do is get her into the doctor and help her to be honest with the doctor.
M.:
Welcome to mamapedia!!
I'm sorry - there's not much you can do. If the baby is born in a hospital - you MIGHT be able to call CPS yourself. She needs to get off the pills.
If this is really YOU - then please get help.
Either way - you or your friend need help. If the baby is born addicted, it will need SERIOUS help!
Good luck!
There is no such thing as a "little" addiction to pain killers. She is harming her baby! Call CPS yourself on her!
She needs to go the doctor for an appointment.
The odds are pretty good that Social Services will be called after the baby is born. This does NOT mean that your friend will lose custody, but it does mean that she will need to get involved in rehab as well as some parenting courses- both of which would be a good idea for her anyway!
He probably will call CPS. Even if he doesn't, when she delivers the hospital will for sure. She needs to go to the doctor's appointment and then just take everything one step at a time. Don't be surprised if she and her hubby are arrested at some point for endangering the life of her unborn child. Her hubby is an idiot!
Tell her CPS is giving away free iPhones to the first fifty addicts that seek medical attention! Tell her whatever you need to get her to that appointment!
The truth is the last thing she needs to hear at the moment!
Agree with the others that say you need to call it in to CPS. This baby will need to be monitored closely as soon as it's born, as it will likely have some health problems. Your friend also does not sound like she is currently fit to be a mom and the baby may need to go into foster care to give her a chance to clean up.
She probably shouldn't detox on her own, but should get medical help from a doctor immediately to help her with a safe detox plan.
Also, there is no such thing as a "little" addiction, as you called it. Your friend is an addict and she needs help. Is she really going to go to the OB appointment next week? Can you go with her?
It is imperative that you alert the authorities and the doctors of the situation. Your friend and the baby need help - more help than you can provide on your own. Even though it's going to be very hard for you, it is the right thing to do.
You can rest assured that when this baby is delivered, there is a VERY high probability that CPS WILL be involved at that point. The baby will likely be screened.
Good luck!
ETA: you can DIE detoxing from Benzos. She will need medical attention for that!
Some of your explanation was garbled, so I didn't understand about the OBGYN in a small town, but there's not much you can do about this except encourage her to be honest with the doctor about her addictions. As far as the baby, I'm sure at this point there's no going back if damage has been done. Doctor's are sworn to confidentiality if that's what you're worried about in a small town.
she should not detox while pregnant.. even moms on morphine are not detoxed while pregnant. there is a clinic here that put drug addicted moms on methadone whil pregnant.. and then the baby has to go through withdrawals after the baby is born. but if the mom does withdrawal whil preg.. she is likely to go into early labor..
Can't call because she has not seen doc. However, that baby will probably be born addicted to drugs. So sad. Baby will probably be taken away.
Wow, what a situation, and what a piece of work that "husband" is, supplying her drug habit! If you're going to do drugs, at least be enough of a decent being to use a condom and not bring an innocent kid into this world with your habit and addictions, which is selfish. That being said, I think the baby should be put up for adoption, maybe a relative or a friend (you?) can care for the child once it is born to ensure some normalcy, at least until this woman cleans up and can be a parent.
I know you fear your friend getting in trouble by calling CPS, but think of that baby. No one is speaking up for it and doing anything to protect it from this dangerous situation. Do the right thing and stand up for this innocent child, be its advocate. Call CPS anonymously so they can put this friend in a detox and monitor her and the baby once it is born.
If she is a good friend, she will appreciate that you did something to help her and the child, rather than risk involvement and stand by and do nothing. Hopefully, she will clean up and thank you for giving her that push she needed to straighten out her life. Obviously, the man needs to enter detox as well; if he is supplying her with drugs, he most definitely is consuming them as well, and there is nothing sadder than a child growing up neglected, in poor living conditions, because the parents are too stoned to care for them.
