Worried Mom - Keyser,WV

She's fine. Let her read her books and do her homework. She will probably do well in school.

If she's never the most social girl in the world, that is fine, she will still have a good life.

If you really want her to learn to play with others, someone has to work with her on it. Talk to the pre-K teacher about the problem, as well as the director. Put your heads together to work out some "practice" for her. It's best to start with adults and children who she is familiar with.

It's great that she likes to read and all that, but she will possibly have trouble in school with bullies if she doesn't learn to play alongside others, at least. She will be expected to play in groups when she gets into 1st and 2nd grade. So start dealing with it now.

Good luck!
Dawn

Hi, Z.:

Have you talked to the mom?

That is the first step.

Good luck.
D.

Hi Z., If she liked playing with other kids before and doesn't now, I would guess something has happened or is happening with some other kids she is around. I would start by asking the teachers at pre-k how she is behaving there. Is she playing with the other kids? Does she have friends? Is she being bullied? If I were you, I might even drop in on school in the middle of the day and watch how things are going for her. If everything seems fine at school, then either she is not getting along with her neighbor friend and kids from Sunday School or she is in an adjustment period for pre-k and comes home too tired to want to play and she just wants to be with you. Don't hesitate to ask questions at school.

I don't have an answer for you....but I do empathize with you. My four year old is quirky and doesn't seem to relate to her peers like she should. Have you talked to her teachers about how she interacts with students in her Pre-K? It is still pretty early in the school year. Maybe her teachers would be receptive to a request to help encourage her to "play" with others and not just by herself to work on some social skills.

Hang in there! E.

Does she play at Pre-K or not at all? If she's playing at school that would be enough, and the time reading and being by herself is more than likely her preference and will stay with her, and there's nothing wrong with that. I was the same way, still am actually, and I always had friends and was never bullied or made fun of.

If she's not playing at Pre-K I would speak with her teachers and ask that they get her involved with the other children at play (they have their ways) and set up a playdate here and there at a park or other play area that would make it difficult for her to go off by herself.

Also start getting her involved in activities that have other children around, but she doesn't necessarily have to play with them. Once she's 5 a whole world of opportunities will open up, craft stores like Michaels offer free Saturday classes where kids make a craft, Home Depot and Lowe's do the same, the child makes an item from a kit, and it's free (my granddaughter loves it.) Also take her to storytime at the library, they frequently have craft projects that tie in with the books read, and there will be other children her age there.

Don't worry about her. Give her lots of opportunities to be around other children and she will be fine.

It may just be her personality so that is ok. What is interesting is that you said she liked to go, and now doesn't. Has her behavior changed? Talk to her about it. Maybe have a play date with ONE other person from her class. Groups may be too much. Don't worry too much or PUSH her too much if she's just shy. That's ok - we are all different.

Believe it or not the socialization of girls begin as early as Kindergarten. I experienced the "female" grouping in two different situations 3 years apart. Once when my son was in kindergarten he was quite the catch and one girl told another girl she was too ulgy for my son! I over heard this as a parent volunteer and informed the teacher. (no idea what/if any action was taken) and 3 years later I was a classified substitute on an assignment as a teacher's aid in a kindergarten class different school when at recesses i noticed a group of girls gathering around another girl (usually upbeat and outgoing) seemed meek. I meandered close enough to hear what was going on and being said without being detected to overhear the ringleader tell this girl she wasn't pretty enough and didn't have nice clothes to play with them! I immediately intervened and spoke with both girls together and separately then for the next few days, played with the girls left out, by the end of the 3rd day she was accepted into the click.
When to start being worried: when you daughter comes home crying cause no one likes her or when all you hear from your daughter is how everyone else has better of cooler stuff than she does.....

Sounds like your daughter's more of an introvert and quite like my son. My daughter is the extreme opposite, she's an extrovert and a social butterfly. I wouldn't worry she's forming her own identity which is also a protective shield which is very necessary