Worried and Need Advice RE: Husband

Be honest and ask him directly if he has feelings for this girl. Don't lead up to it with a pre-emptive apology, or an "I know I'm probably crazy for thinking this, but..." just ask. If you catch him off guard like that you will be able to get a lot of information from his reaction and answer. It's probably nothing, but you have every right to ask (I would!)

I'm sorry, but it is not his responsibility to take care of her emotional (or other) needs. It's out of line, no matter how "nice" you might think it is. It isn't really nice as it places his heart and time in her hands instead of yours. He needs to be proactive in protecting his own marriage instead of worrying about how lonely and sad this other girl is. You are not paranoid. You are spot on. It is not wrong for you to jealously protect your marriage. Someone has to do it.

Get into one of your super sexiest negligees and have a no hold's bar kind of night
He may just be trying to be nice or his working out and staying late may be that he is trying to impress her and things are too comfortable at home. Try spicing things up a bit.
And tell him. When he is comfortable and you are just watching tv. Tell him in a non-combative, nonjealous way that you feel threatened by her.

Men don't always get why women act the way they do, but women can see through other women. Does that make sense? He knows she is lonely because she said so to him. You don't tell a man that you are lonely and not expect him to fix that one.

Been there while I was still dating my husband (1992), we met a gal friend through a mutual friend. She only had guy friends and she had so many common interests with my 'boyfriend', I was jealous to the point that my now husband asked me if I was leaving him. I told him it wasn't me who i felt was looking for an out, and that I would rather he break up before he ever cheated, I loved him too much. We cleared up the air and I learned then and there that I had to speak my feelings instead of harboring them. We are coming up on 20 years of being together and I can't believe it but am thrilled that we have worked continuously towards a healthy relationship.
Now back to you, I strongly agree with Momofmany that it isn't his responsibility for the loneliness of another girl. I hope you have open communication with him to have that heart to heart that is apparently needed. Just keep in mind that no amount of worrying is ever going to stop him from cheating. We control only ourselves and you can start working out too or start taking a class of interest to you and who knows he may start worrying about you too. :) all the best to you.

You should have went! I hope its nothing. But yeah i noticed my husband comming home late and having a lot more to do on the weekends. Also he started working out. He had a girlfriend.

If co-worker is lonely she needs to be out and about with other singles - not hanging with married people.
When a friend of mine was single, she joined her local chamber of commerce - it's where she met her future husband.
She needs to take a class, join a church group, volunteer (all of which has nothing to do with your husband) to meet people.
You should get husband involved in some outside the office interest where he'll be too busy to worry about someone else s social schedule.
You and he could take a cooking class together.

I would feel the same way. You could think that he is just being nice, or you could think that he told you about it so you would NOT think anything. Knowing you wouldn't go. I would have gone if even for a couple hours just to see the vibe. She is lonely??? Why on earth is it his responsibility to entertain a 'beautiful, young, lonely girl'? The working out is usually a sure sign but sometimes it is just a sign of midlife, wanting to be healthy. how old is your husband? Is he wearing cologne that he used to not wear? new clothes? I would ask him straight to his face and see his reaction. You are not crazy, ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed? next time, take him up on his offer for you to go and see if he back tracks and acts like he doesn't want you to come...then I would follow him! ha ha

Sounds like you are not crazy for feeling like you do but also you should be on the lookout. Sometimes things like this are worse than they sound. I would find a way to get off early and show up! You can see who he is mingling with and if he is flirty with her....or possibly go late when the party is winding down and see if the two of them are still chatting alone. Good luck, I am sure you are just a little paranoid but smart to check it out anyway!

I think, if he was cheating with her, he wouldnt be mentioning her, at all. But, I would keep an eye on it.... Probably no reason to worry, but who knows!

Tell him how you feel. Hes your other half, you should be able to talk to him about anything thats bothering you. I myself wouldnt have a problem bringing it up. :)

Umm, just a little red flag. If the physical changes, the increased absences from home, etc. keep happening, you could potentially have a problem.

That's just the kind of things my ex did when he was messing around.

Your husband is just a little too interested in this (very beautiful, younger) co-worker. Without being jealous or crazy, I think you should leave work early and take a peek. This might be something to nip in the B..

Or it might not. But I bet if she were ugly, he wouldn't be quite so concerned about her loneliness.

Can you put it to him in that way, like you just did here? Say something like, "I feel so ridiculous and like I'm acting crazy, but I can't help but feel a bit worried about this. I know it's not right; you've done nothing wrong and I KNOW you're just trying to help this girl out. For some reason, this is bothering me. I don't know what you can do about it or how you can fix it, but I need you to know that I'm feeling upset about this for some reason." My husband responds VERY well when I say it just the way you're talking to us here. You can't help how you feel and you can say that. If acts mad or defensive, that's not right. He either has something to hide or, at the very least, he's not being sensitive to your feelings and that's a problem in and of itself that should be addressed.

I honestly have no idea how else you can handle your feelings other than to talk to him. Personally, I don't even think your feelings about this are crazy. In all likelihood he planned it on the night you work late so that he wouldn't miss out on an evening at home with you, BUT he invited you thinking that it would make you feel okay with it and to show you there was nothing to worry about because of course you were invited. Good luck! Please let us know what happens.

Hi, S.:

What makes you jealous?
Is there something you feel is missing in your relatioship with your
husband?

Is he trying to make you jealous to show him more affection?

Just want to know.
D.

Don't confront him.... Share your feelings in a non confrontational way that you feel threatened.

Personally, I would not have an issue with it because we are very secure in our relationship.

As someone else said, step it up, do something to blow his mind about you!

Communication is so key to maintaining a secure, stable relationship.

As a wife who went through this...he kept telling me he had duty or one of his boys needs help. Hopefully it isn't anything, but I'd say ask. Let him know you trust him, but it is weighing heavy on your mind and you just want to know. I also agree with momofmany, it's not his responsibility and let him know that too. It's nice, it really is and we should all be helping one another, but he needs to be careful as the one who is going out of his way to put stuff together for her. If the answer you get still doesn't satisfy you, ask again..see if you get the same answer.
Also, if you don't want to ask him, ask God. When I didn't want to ask my husband or was afraid to, I asked God, and He definately gave me answers, I was too stubborn to listen to Him at first, but I eventually did. It's not easy to accept if it is bad news. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Its not bad to be jealous you cant prevent it, but you can prevent over/under reaction, J. be honest and tell him how you feel and also don't ask him to not go, J. be open and talk, and maybe try and go after work...also if he knows your upset and you talk about it resonably he should be understanding and lay off his new possibly harmless crush a little, also ask if he would be upset if it were the oppositte?

i think it's only normal to get a little jealous. there is something about your husband showing interest in another woman - even in a friendly sense - that just creates unease.

i kinda went down this same path with my spouse and it was a disaster. i really over-reacted and made a big deal about it - mostly because there was so much other stuff going on at the time (bad job, new baby, etc) that it was easy for me to hold on and take control over this 'woman' (or so i thought) but it actually backfired. he got resentful that i was accusing him of being illict - I got angry that he didn't automatically stop being friends with this woman - and it really almost tore our marriage apart.

I think in the end my husband was having an emotional affair with this lady - and that breaks my heart - but i think if i had just chilled and let them be friends - refusing to meet or spend time with her - it just made it that much worse.

sorry this got long and rambly but my point is don't accuse and make up something that isn't there - and take the time and go with them to the happy hour - you might see that it's all in your head..

Attend the party!

Blessings....

I like girls/women. I've enjoyed looking a beautiful women, beautiful sunsets, beautiful paintings, beautiful views since I was a kid.

I had a traveling job and could have had sex on multiple occasions over the years and doubt my wife would have ever found out. I have been offered quite a few "opportunities". I love my wife dearly and have since before we were married. I take my wedding vows seriously and always have. I don't wear a wedding ring on my finger because I gained weight. I wear my wedding ring between my ears. And, I see no reason to go out for hamburger when I have filet mignon at home, so to speak.

If you are concerned about your husband and this co-worker, and he invited you to be with them, you probably have nothing to worry about. Unless your husband is very sexually adventurous he is not going to try and bring you and her to his bed for "fun and games". If you are really concerned, ask for the evening off at work and go with them. You were invited.

BTW, read the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." You'll learn a lot about your husband.

Good luck to you and yours.