Worried About Daycare

Updated on March 11, 2008
S.N. asks from Peoria, AZ
17 answers

So, I'm seven months pregnant with my daughter, Olivia. This is mine and my husband's first child, and to be honest, one of the things we're worried about is daycare. He's a full time student and though he's still in school, he's nearly done with his BA. He and I also both work. How do people do it? I keep thinking of what to do as far as getting someone to watch my baby for me, but then I feel guilty. I know we'll do what it takes, but I'm so nervous. We'd prefer NOT to have a stranger watch her (aka Daycare), but what if that's the only solution? I guess my question is, how do you ladies do it? Any suggestions?

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G.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi there!
I came a cross the Mom Team when I was looking for a way to work at home. They helped me stay home with my 2-year-old son and now I have another one on the way! Up until now, I only found scams online. The Mom Team is a non-profit support group partnered up with a wellness company. If you are motivated, you can make money at home. Fortunately, there's NO selling, ordering, parties or delivering of products. We have lots of support! If this is something that interests you, please email me!

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello!

I know how you feel as I was in the same place. Staying home was not an option unfortunately, as was being an in home care provider (not really my thing). Initially our daughter was watched in our house by a close friend, but at 7 months we got a place at the Beatitudes Age Link Day Care center (Glendale & 15th Ave). They are group of really amazing people and give our daughter a lot of love. Between the teachers and the other kids she is also learning much more than I think I could teach her if we were at home. So she is there now about 7 hours/day (M-F). My husband starts work really early, I bring her there later and go to work, then he picks her up. When we are at home with her, we do things together as much as we can and this seems to work out. She is very outgoing, adjusted and interested in everything.

I hope this helps! If you have to have someone else look after your child for some time everyday, you will have to find someone you can trust and then it will be all right for all of you.

Good luck!
D.

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J.H.

answers from Flagstaff on

Hi!

I am 5 months pregnant and live in Prescott Valley. I am a teacher and my husband is in the Food and Beverage Industry. I just read your message and was wondering if you ever found a dependable, safe, and nuturing enviornment to put your child in?

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Definatley inhome. the sister city advertisement on here is great. My son went to a daycare at 11 months. And was always sick, and they cant tell what goes on. And the food is always awful. I dont eat meat, but my son at preschool was eating tuna and fish sticks. He had alot of problems with tummy aches and diaherea. An in home care would take care of your precious gift in the manor you would, including food and preperation, and loving..

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T.N.

answers from Phoenix on

If you are that concerned, have you considered staying home with your baby or cutting back your work hours so you can care for her for the majority of the time? Just an idea. I totally planned on going back to work, but once my son was born I just couldn't do it. I was nervous about strangers like you are and I didn't want to miss out on anything, and once I calculated the hassle and stress of working outside the home and leaving my baby all day, not to mention the cost of childcare, I decided it wasn't worth it in my situation. Plus I wanted to be the greatest influence in his life and really nurture our bond (which in the end I think parents are whether or not they work, as long as we put a conscious effort into building that relationship).

We had to cut back financially, but I'm not sorry one bit and I'm sure my children much prefer it as well. It has really worked for us. I know for some people that is not an option, but if there's any way you can, I would suggest considering it. I absolutely love it and I feel like I am a very productive full-time mother, even though I don't work outside the home very often. My sister is going to continue working a few afternoons a week once her baby is born and I'm going to babysit her baby. I love being available for that, and I know she loves knowing her baby will be well cared for and loved and playing with cousins and aunt all day, while she gets to get out of the house and make some money and maintain her clientele. Do you have family or friends you trust that can babysit (for a fee)? Or maybe you can babysit for a fee if you want to stay home, but also want/need the money.

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A.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi S.,

I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my son as a newborn. When he was 8 months old I returned to university leaving him at an in-home daycare for about 12 hours per week. I found my sitter through my best friend who's daughter is 3 years older than my son. She was wonderful - but became too expensive & too far for me on my financial aid only income. I then moved him to another woman whom I also found through my best friend - her good friend used for all three of her children - starting when her oldest was a newborn. I personally would not use a "public" day care - simply because a) I don't trust them and b) I prefer more of a "family" environment. For example, when his sitter took on a new infant, my son was able to participate in giving the new babe a bottle - something he never got at home and would not at a public daycare. Also, she did pre-school for an hour or two each morning. My son was not segregated from the pre-school class but encouraged to participate in their activities at his leisure - again something he did not get at home and would not get at a public daycare where children are sorted by age.

Now that I am returning to work I am seeking daycare for my boy for a few hours a day when summer hits (he is in all-day Kindergarten now). He will go to his school's after school program for an hour a day until then - which, isn't too bad as he will get more play time with others than he would get at home any how.

I too had/have issues with leaving my son with someone I don't know. BUT I found my son really enjoyed playing with the other kids. He rarely if ever cried when dropped off...and then only prior to being a year old. His sitter would call me before I even left her street and I could hear my son giggling and cooing and blabbing. He was fine! EVERY time! We are still in contact with both of his sitters - and my son still makes requests to visit them.

Anyhow, I think using daycare vs. staying at home is quite a personal choice. I am a feminist in that women ought to be able to choose a career over motherhood, the reverse, or both. I also strongly believe in most cases that the mother is the BEST caregiver of her own child(ren). BUT you have to figure out what works best for you and your family. I would LOVE to be the one to get my son ready in the morning, take him to school, then arrive early enough to pick him up to participate in classroom activities -which I have done thus far - however I also want to provide for him financially - to play sports, take music lessons, dance lessons, gymnastics, etc, what ever interests him....which means returning to near full-time work is the best option for us.

For me the best way to do it is to find someone through someone else I know and trust. Some of my friends have been able to stagger their working shifts to avoid or limit outside day care. I pretty much was a single mom when my son was born so this was not an option for me. Many people I know have a great support system through their extended families or close friends. I did/do not have the option of using a family member for day-to-day child care due mainly distance and time needed. But did have an excellent network of friends that provided afternoon or evening day care needed and it worked out great for us!

I think the best advice I can give you is to be resourceful...talk to others, research, and plan..which sounds like you are at a good start if your child isn't even born yet!

Good luck! =)

PS I can recommend our sitter at 51st Ave & Union Hills if you are interested

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L.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi S.,

My husband and I both work full time and our children (ages 2 1/2 and 1 year) both go to daycare. It is a hard decision to make I know-and costly! I don't know what part of the vally you live in but my children go to a la petite in south chandler. the only reason I am comfortable taking them there is because my mom has worked there for almost 20 years! I have been lucky enough to have my mom be able to take care of both of my children as well as my two oldest neice and nephew! A lot of parents bring their child there because of the plain and simple fact that my mom has been there for so long! Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I thought I had it all worked out...Tutor Time had a good reputation. It just didn't work for us. She was so easy going I never found her with a worker, either in the crib or a swing. My daughter deserved more attention while she couldn't communicate and wasn't mobile. So I signed up with an Au Pair organization and spent many frustrating hours e-mailing and calling other countries.

It was the BEST decision. We had the most wonderful Au Pair from New Zealand. I was just fearful of unreliable people jeopardizing our livelihood by not showing up - so live-in was great for us. We still e-mail/call her weekly. This is an expensive option for one child (over $12,000 annually), but a cheap idea for some that have multiple children in daycare.

At 18 months (our year was ending with the Au Pair) we enrolled her in an OUTSTANDNG private school she adores so she leads me out the door to go to "school."

Just remember to listen to your gut. You'll know what is right when you pay attention to your intuition and your child.

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T.F.

answers from Albuquerque on

I do in home child care and I only have 3 children to watch! If you go to an actual daycare your child will not be seeing the same face you drop her off with everyday. I love watching children in my home, it's wonderful! I have ages 2 and 3 so it's more of a structured enviroment for them. If you find someone that DOES NOT watch alot of children, I think that your child will be fine

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M.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi. Even though my daughter is now 18 yrs. old I can still feel exactly how you're feeling. At that time we were still dependant on my income so I decided to stay home and day care for other children. I started out with just one who was a little older and within 6 months worked my way up to 4 other children. The money wasn't as much as if I would have went back to my old job but the peace of mind of being with my daughter and raising her and hearing her 1st words and seeing her 1st steps was all worth it!! I just made some adjustments with our household bills, such as got rid of HBO & Show Time, the house keeper,lawn service & cooked more at home instead of eating out all the time. Mind you, it's not like I had to give up these luxuries forever..just until I felt like she was old enough to be away from me and by that time she was ready and so was I. Thoses precious years with her were the best ever!! Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Tucson on

I understand your worries. My husband and I are both in the military and when I came back to work after giving birth to my daughter, I was working 12 hour shifts (plus 2 hours for exercising) I felt horrible and had issues with nursing, which made me feel even worse. I was blessed enough to find an amazing woman to watch my baby for me. I personally love at home daycare providers. I find that the large daycare centers do not give my child the attention I feel I am paying for. The kids seem to get sick all the time and you have to take time off of work to pick them up for every sneeze or cough.
I went through www.naccrra.org and called them. They mailed me a list of daycare providers in the area that had everything you could want to know about each provider. All of them get checked regularly and are certified. It lists their hours, costs, education, cpr certification, ect. Through them, we found an amazing woman that lives only two blocks from us.
Elizabeth (my daughter) is the youngest and gets most of her attention. I found that Liz learns so much from the other kids. Everyday, she is learning a new word or phrase. She doesn't cry when I leave her because she loves it there so much. It really helps to know that my baby is in such great care. I'm pregnant again and due in Aug. This time, I'm planning on getting out of the Army and finding a job where I can feel like I'm a mother and wok the typical 9to5 weekday job.
I'm sure you can find the perfect person to help you with your child. Good Luck and Congrats!

A.M.

answers from Pueblo on

Have you thought about working from home? I have 3 kids under age 3, and daycare was way to costly for me to even think about! I found a company that has helped my family more than I could imagine! I love my job and I work right from home while being with my kids! I cannot imagine having to worry about who is watching & teaching my kids. Let me know if you would be interested in more info.

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E.L.

answers from Phoenix on

I would suggest an in-home childcare giver, if you would feel comfortable with one. I stayed home with my daughter for 7 months before I had to go back to work, and we had her in an in-home daycare with a wonderful woman who had ten, yes ten, grown children of her own. She was a blessing. Our daughter is 3 1/2 now and in preschool, and i still am uneasy with other people caring for her because I know they will not do everything the way I would. But at a home daycare she will get a lot more attention, especially if she is the only infant, which is usually the case. It is a more nuturing and intimate environment which creates security and consistency for your little one. Another plus for us was that our caregiver had our daughter peeing on the potty at 9 months. It was insane. As a first time mommy all I had to do was reinforce using the potty at home. I would definately recommend in-home as opposed to corporate daycare. It is much less costly, and a better experience all around for us. But make sure you interview a number of different people and if she feels like a family member, you know you have found the right one. Good Luck. Don't Stress Mama! It will be great.

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I sent my son to an "in-home" day care because I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, my maternity leave was ending, and EVERY place that I called was fully booked. The woman left her front door WIDE open with a 2 yr old and my 8 month old in the middle of july, she barely spoke english, (she was very nice) although she play hit to say hello to the kids. I HATED that. Luckily Valley Child Care called me the day I first saw her hit my son hello! He only has to go part time, but I feel SO much better leaving him there where there are cameras, where there are people that have been working there for YEARS, and after 3 weeks of not dropping my son off there, the girls still remembered his name, and he actually left my arms to go to them with out a screaming fit! Not to mention, for tax purposes, a day care center can keep better records, and have no problem releasing their tax id so you can claim your child care expenses. My son gets to try new foods, they send home a daily report card with how many diapers they went through, how much he ate/drank, how playful he was, how long his naps were... When he is there, he colors and paints, and they send his art home for me to see and hang on the fridge! (it is the little things :) ) In the room he is in now, he gets to play outside on age appropriate toys, and he LOVES it! I send my son to Valley Child Care at 51st Ave and Union Hills their number is ###-###-####

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M.D.

answers from Santa Fe on

Find a mom you trust, ask her how she did it, see if your friends with kids have anyone they trust. Ask lots of questions, ask lots of moms, check out daycares with your state Child Protection advocate. You can't be too careful. There are licensing agencies in most states and you can approach parents outside of some of the facilities to ask about how they feel regarding their children's care. ASK, ASK, ASK.

Good luck

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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Well basically since my son was born about 4 1/2 ears ago I have worked off and on because of the cost of child care. We now have 2 kids. My daughter is 3 and he is 4. In the beginning I did work his off days cause I too did not want my son in day care but at ages 14 mos and 2 we put them in childcare Pt then FT when I started working FT. After 5 mos of FT the cost weren't really worth me even working. My kids actually loved day care but they were a bit older. I was sad to pull them out but we had no choice. I really need to work but the only way to make it worth it is if I work his off days. I am also still in school and its taking forever cause of the family challenges! Not sure if I helped much but thois is what happened in our situation!

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H.Q.

answers from Great Falls on

For the first 14 months, my mother took care of my older daughter. Then, because she was already watching my nephew and my sister was pregnant again, I had to look for an alternative (they all lived with my folks). So, my husband and I asked around at our jobs - for in home info and recommendations.

My husband had a co-worker who used to use this lady. She called and we set up an appointment to meet and let my daughter and "Potential Girl" get together. We sat there for a while on a Saturday afternoon. I watched my daughter and Marta play and interact, and I liked the way they got along - so the next Monday, my daughter started going there.

Co-workers are a fount of information. Just mention that you're wondering about child care and see what happens. It worked WONDERS for us!!

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