Hi S.,
I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my son as a newborn. When he was 8 months old I returned to university leaving him at an in-home daycare for about 12 hours per week. I found my sitter through my best friend who's daughter is 3 years older than my son. She was wonderful - but became too expensive & too far for me on my financial aid only income. I then moved him to another woman whom I also found through my best friend - her good friend used for all three of her children - starting when her oldest was a newborn. I personally would not use a "public" day care - simply because a) I don't trust them and b) I prefer more of a "family" environment. For example, when his sitter took on a new infant, my son was able to participate in giving the new babe a bottle - something he never got at home and would not at a public daycare. Also, she did pre-school for an hour or two each morning. My son was not segregated from the pre-school class but encouraged to participate in their activities at his leisure - again something he did not get at home and would not get at a public daycare where children are sorted by age.
Now that I am returning to work I am seeking daycare for my boy for a few hours a day when summer hits (he is in all-day Kindergarten now). He will go to his school's after school program for an hour a day until then - which, isn't too bad as he will get more play time with others than he would get at home any how.
I too had/have issues with leaving my son with someone I don't know. BUT I found my son really enjoyed playing with the other kids. He rarely if ever cried when dropped off...and then only prior to being a year old. His sitter would call me before I even left her street and I could hear my son giggling and cooing and blabbing. He was fine! EVERY time! We are still in contact with both of his sitters - and my son still makes requests to visit them.
Anyhow, I think using daycare vs. staying at home is quite a personal choice. I am a feminist in that women ought to be able to choose a career over motherhood, the reverse, or both. I also strongly believe in most cases that the mother is the BEST caregiver of her own child(ren). BUT you have to figure out what works best for you and your family. I would LOVE to be the one to get my son ready in the morning, take him to school, then arrive early enough to pick him up to participate in classroom activities -which I have done thus far - however I also want to provide for him financially - to play sports, take music lessons, dance lessons, gymnastics, etc, what ever interests him....which means returning to near full-time work is the best option for us.
For me the best way to do it is to find someone through someone else I know and trust. Some of my friends have been able to stagger their working shifts to avoid or limit outside day care. I pretty much was a single mom when my son was born so this was not an option for me. Many people I know have a great support system through their extended families or close friends. I did/do not have the option of using a family member for day-to-day child care due mainly distance and time needed. But did have an excellent network of friends that provided afternoon or evening day care needed and it worked out great for us!
I think the best advice I can give you is to be resourceful...talk to others, research, and plan..which sounds like you are at a good start if your child isn't even born yet!
Good luck! =)
PS I can recommend our sitter at 51st Ave & Union Hills if you are interested