Working Mom Vs. Stay at Home Mom

Not exactly, but i love to work and i an trying to work now, but i just can't work the day shift because of my children's school schedules. I am kinda stuck in the middle just like you are.

C.,
I understand the struggle that you're feeling. Whether to work outiside the home or stay home with your children has it's ups and downs either way. If you work outside the home you miss the fun stuff with you little ones. If you stay at home you gain the fun stuff with your children but lose a second income.

Have you considered working at home? That's what I did? Now I choose my own hours. I make as much money as I want, deciding how much time to devote to my Avon business in a given week and yet still have as much time as I want with my children and husband. It's a good life!

I've not had this much fun since I was in my 20's. Now almost 40, I finally feel satisfied in who I am and love waking up every morning to the new me!

Prayer helps a lot. Look to God for guidance in what is best for you and your family.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

T. S.
Collinsville, OK 74021

Hi C.,

Speaking as someone who cannot go back in time, I'm seeing through my grandkids all the things I missed with my own - and all the things my own kids didn't get from me. My husband was military, we needed the second income. If I had only known back then that I could have had a legitimate home-based business - I would have jumped at the chance. What I did make wasn't worth the sacrifice of losing their childhood. Even once they started to school - I could have stayed home and got the things done that I did in the evenings - I could have had the laundry done, house clean, and even a decent meal. I could have even attended some of their in-school functions. My time, then, would have been "our time". I also understand going a little nuts when you have little ones underfoot all the time - I had 3 under 5. Today, I wonder where the time went. What happened to my babies? My grandones are already 6 - 12 years old. The really sad part is I can't think of a single outstanding Mom memory with any of my kids.

It's a tough decision to make C.. Just keep in mind please that you can never get the time back.

Hope this helps - God Bless,
~V~

I have 2 little girls also and have thought about staying at home with them, but if I were to stay at home I wouldn't be able to buy them things that I want to and have big birthday parties and nice vacations for them. I know that stuff really doesn't matter right now, but to me it does since my parents were not able to do that stuff for me. I love the way my girls look at me when I pick them up after work and when I am at home with them I really treasure the time. Plus my 3 1/2 year old has a wonderful social life from being around other kids her age. I know it is a hard decision and I am sure you will make the one that is best for your family, but I thought I would share my reason.

I understand the difficulty in your decision. We have three children under 4 and I had to put my two older ones in daycare when my eldest was two and my second one to finish school. It was difficult because we are a military family and need all the time with eachother as we can get since daddy is gone so often but also the extra income . . . that school grants/scholarships, and my new career brings. Now we have our third child and though, primarily I an staying home for now due to medical reasons it is also for time with the kids. However, when August rolls around (I am a teacher) I will have to go back to work because we can barely afford to survive otherwise. The motto my husband and I live by is "make the most of the time we have together'" and that is what we try to do; whether it is daddy is working 12's straight for a month, I am working, or life is just crazy we try to create lasting, family memories every chance we get. While the chicken is roasting do little coloring projects or let the kids cut paper . . . make little pictures with the scraps (it is fun and works on hand eye coordination), do puzzles . . . basically any moment you can grab fill it with good memories . . . and ALWAYS have a camera handy so that you guys can really capture and remember those moments when it seems like all you do is work or fold laundry. It helps to see the kids enjoying themselves and remember that you are not just a workaholic but a great mommy too. And if you choose to stay home remember to make mommy time a must sometimes . . . register with the local MOPS group (mothers of preschoolers) at your church, put a baby gate up and scrapbook, play solitaire on the computer or read . . . just do SOMETHING for you so you don't feel crazy with little ones underfoot . . . believe me I understand! This is part of my mommy time! Just know that there is no easy answer and whatever you choose it is the best choice for you and yours and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it on either front. GOOD LUCK!!

there are definitely pros and cons for both sides. You just need to weigh them for yourself. Nobody can make the decision for you. Luckily... you have a choice! That's a wonderful position to be in!

We're a one-income family (which just happens to be income from my employment). If I could afford to stay home with my daughter, I would! My husband, however, is the one at home, and it does drive him nuts sometimes. My husband has certainly wanted to go back to work; however, the problem we encountered was finding someone to keep our daughter that we trusted and that wouldn't take ALL of my husband's paycheck! It sounds like you already have that worked out.

What about working part-time? Since you've been with your employer for 6 years, could you work out a part-time schedule? That way, you'd get to work, but would still have time with your kids.

Yes i had the same dilema and you are missing out on time you wont get back. Try to do part time hours- even if you went to 4 days a week you would have one extra day to catch up with the kids.when the kids get in school then you could go back to fulltime status.i am blessed to be in a career where i can work weekend hours so i did not have to do the daycare thing.i dont want anyone else to be the main influence in my childs life but me. Good luck!!!

I wanted to stay home. Ive been at my job for 6 years and i make alot more then some people do. When i thought about quiting and then going back to work and having to start over with the pay,didnt seem to good. I want to give my daughter the stuff i didnt so i work for her. When she gets in school and she wants these pants or shirt well get it. I didnt have that, my mom didnt work and the stuff i wanted i didnt get so im going to do it for her. I go and see her everyday at lunch at daycare and she really likes it. She loves to play with other kids. I never got to play with other kids until i was in first grade i didnt go to kindergarden so i didnt play well with others i never had to. my mom gets on to me because i work, but she doesnt know how other kids treat some kids that dont have everything. and i know i cant shield her from everything but i can try my best to avoid some of it. I hope im doing the right thing...good luck!

Hey C.! Have you considered being a work at home mom? I have 3 kids, all under 3, and I can never imagine having to be away from them, let alone take them to a daycare where they barely get enough 1 on 1 time! I work righ from home, without ever leaving the house and I get to talk with other moms all day! Not to mention, I'm spending QUALITY time with all my kids because I get to set my own hours and work my schedule around my family! If you are interested, I can help you out! There is NO Selling, inventory or parties, EVER! Request more info. at workingmommyathome.com

C.,

I worked to full time before having my first and I loved it and I understand the feeling stir crazy but, I think staying at home until they go to kindergarden is well worth it. I have had 4 kids and stayed home with them all, it cut down on sickness from daycares and the cost we saved was a biggie too!! We made major sacrifics for me to stay home but my kids(my oldest is 18) still says that was the thing she remember most was that I was always home and there for her when she was little.

Once they are in preschool you can always work a few days a week to cut down on the 'stir crazy' God luck with your decision!