Worker Vs. Home Schooler

Updated on January 14, 2010
E.P. asks from Anchorage, AK
13 answers

Hello MOMS
I know this may be to early, but i really want to put my son through home school but i am not sure if that can be done if i want to be a full time worker also.

My son is about to 2 in march, (know he is extremly young) but you can never start thinking about your child's future to early. Right now, His father is around, and we both work full time jobs. I just want to have a goal on how to start my son's education (school wise). I read to him everyday, and we work with puzzles and the other things that you are supposed to teach your child at this age. I have noticed that home schooled childeren are more advanced then pubilc or most private schools, as far as interaction with other childeren in his age group; I am planing in putting him in to sport, right now, i believe he is in his trouble two's stage and is just aggresive with every thing. Putting him into sports sounds like a good idea for me. But please let me know what you think?? Dad doesn't have much input, though he thinks it's possible, but he does not have anything to support his idea.

Can i be a teacher and a full-time normal worker?
My mind is in such a twist.

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Z.A.

answers from Seattle on

Yup... sure can, although there are tons and tons of variables... Such as what kind of work, when... your own personality... what kind of curriculum you use, daycare, outside classes, all that jazz.

There are some HS'ers who could never imagine working while HS'ing, and others who can't imagine not working. Just like the SAHM v WM thing.

There's a specific yahoo group for HS'ers who also work full/part time or go to school as well:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WORKandHOMESCHOOL/

For myself I'm in school part time, I teach part time, I work for myself when I can (writing photography ceramics & glass), & HS full-time (lol, love how that one's last, when it's easily my biggest time commitment). For me it works out really well, because I can do much of my own work in piecemeal. Most of my work is done after kiddo (ds7) is in bed, but some is while he's in outside classes (he has at least one class/sport every day that ranges between 1-4 hours, and sometimes 2 classes), and some when he's working on something else. So we may both be at the table doing our own works. He's also in quarterly weeklong camps, so those weeks are always chockablock... and we may do a longer camp this summer.

We also set things up as a family that we have 3 day weekends. Friday is my play day with Kiddo (Dh has the day to himself to do whatever), Saturday is DH's play day with kiddo (meaning that's my 24 hour period to do whatever), and Sunday is family day.

I know many people who work and HS, although it's more *common* to know HS families who have one SAH parent, many many families have both parents working at least part time, and I even know many single parent HS'ers. Seems like the most common jobs split into two groups:

1) Odd hours or work from home like : firefighters (they only work 1-2 days a week), professors (who only have to be on campus for class & dept. meetings... as little as 4 hours a week, as much as 20), computer programming / DBA types (who commute online), artists/muscians/writers/photographers (who either set their own schedules or work at night), CPA/tax people (who alter their schoolyear so that the kid's "summer break" is tax season), swingshift 6pm-2am workers of all kinds, and part time workers of all kinds. (Many part time workers I know have their hs'd kids enrolled in "afterschool" care ... through the Y or similar, so the parents teach in the mornings, and work part time in the afternoons or evenings). The above are only some of the more common jobs... I know a fishing/hunting guide who's done with work every day by 10am, a private pilot whose kids fly with him all over the world, many many families who "travel-school" (parents have jobs that keep them on the road), a big animal vet who only does house calls. Any flexible or odd hour job falls into this category.

2) Night &/or Weekend schoolers (and this isn't so strange... an average public school curriculum is easily gotten through, with =/better retention in a 3 month average period for most when done at home... most of the HS'ers *I* know though, use more in depth materials than public schools... but even then 3-4 hours a day is more than enough to be above grade level for most). The types of jobs people work here run the gamut; any 8-5 type job, farmers, travelers, etc. This is most common amongst families with older kids, around age 10 and up. With any age group though, SOMETHING has to be done with the kids during the daytime hours... which gets tricky mid age 7-12... because most of their contemporaries are in school, so there are few if any programs for them in the daytime before 3 or 4pm.

I fall into group one (I'm in school and work for myself), so I basically set my own hours. I will eventually be working full time teaching... which still puts me in group 1 (college level teaching... hours are waaaaay more flexible than k-12)... but something to remember... if you're looking at wanting to work full time in GENERAL... the majority of HS kids are taking college classes in their early/mid teens. Some (not most) are even done with their degrees by the time their contemporaries are graduating HS. So if you're just considering life paths, and *don't* want to be HS'ing and working full time, working full time while your child is in college can realistically be contemplated as early as when they're about 14. I don't personally know very many full time college kids at 14, it seems to be more common for the early teens to take 1-2 classes a quarter rather than 3-4, but some do.

<laughing> and it's never too early to be thinking/planning stuff out.

:)

Z

Oh! And for a good laugh/reality check... make sure to check out The Bitter Homeschoolers Wishlist :
http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschoo...

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

No. Where will you child be all day while you are at work. I home schooled my children until it was time to work. How can you take him to events or have the energy to tutor him.
If you need to work and can afford it place him in private school. I did that and have no regrets. Of course I chose schools based on the SUMMERHILL model of A.S. Neil (book might not be in print) wherein the child develops as they feel lead.
They are now well educated and great readers.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I'm only responding to your comment about putting your son into sports. I know of no sports available for a 2 year old. At 2 toddlers are not developmentally ready for such a structured activity. Sports can be a good way to channel aggressive behavior for an older child when it's combined with helping them learn how to handle their angry feelings.

I don't know what you mean by aggressive. I don't classify the usual behavior of a 2 year old as aggressive. For me aggression means that the person is knowingly trying to hurt someone. That they have anger built up that they take out on others.

Yes, a 2 yo does get frustrated and handles it by what would be termed aggression if done by adults. However, a 2yo hasn't learned how to handle his anger. He does hit because he doesn't have verbal skills to talk. Thus the adult helps the child learn what to do with his frustration and anger. This has nothing to do with sports.

When we compare 2yo we do say one child is more aggressive than another. In this context it means that one child is more active and most often focuses his frustration on another child or adult. A less aggressive child may not show their frustration at all or in other ways less obviously negative.

Two year olds are just beginning to learn how to get along with other children. No often seems to be their favorite word. They are learning that they are people separate from their parents and seeking autonomy. This, again, is unrelated to sports. They need help in learning how to correctly behave.

Physical activity helps all of us expend the energy that frustration and anger create in us. All toddlers and children need physical activity; some more than others. You have the right idea about one facet of dealing with an energetic and most likely from your description demanding 2 year old. It's just that the activity is only one part of what your son needs. Even if you could find a sports activity for him, I doubt that would be of much help.

Also consider that at 2 he is not physically coordinated and has a very short attention span. Perhaps you are suggesting that when he is older you want to get him into sports?

I suggest that you will be a more successful parent with a better behaved child if you focus more attention on what he needs now and less on what he needs several years from now. Yes, think about home schooling but you can't make any sort of decisions now because you do not know what your circumstances will be in 3-4 years. You do not know now what resources will be available for home schooling then. You do not know what your son will need in 3-4 years.

As several have stated it is difficult to both home school and work. It does make sense to know enough about home schooling so that you can start making decisions regarding your work that would allow you to home school if you decide to do that in 3-4 years. However, I think it's most important to learn how to teach your child now at age 2; how to provide experiences as he matures. How to parent at each stage of your son's development.

There are many useful ways for a parent to manage a child's "aggressivness" while also teaching them skills in getting along with others.

Sports provides a physical outlet for energy and an organized way to learn how to get along with others. Two is too early for a sport. Parents provide this at home.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I think it can be done if your profession and work schedule, as well as you physical ability allows and if you have a partner or other caregiver for your child that is on the same page.

If you work regular office hours 9-5, I do not think that you would be doing you son a favor by trying to squeeze his school time into what little is left of your day. Also remember that many home schoolers do interact with others in groups during this time, so your ability to find a homeschool group for your son's social interaction would be affected. Thsi would only work if you have another adult taking care of your son (dad, a relative or even a nanny) who would act as your son's teacher during the daytime. Also remember that as he ages, you will have a hard time finding daycare for him.

Now if you are in a job that allows for an adjusted work schedule (compressed schedules, some shift jobs, nights, seasonal) and you have daycare for a school aged child line up, you may me able to do it, you will just need to plan it carefully.

I have actually though about this as well, but come to the conclusion that the downsides weight out the positives and I hope that we will be able to find an affordable and good private school as an option.

Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Portland on

It is not realistic to think that you can work full time and homeschool your child, at least not if you want to have quality time or output for either. I suggest looking into getting a relative or friend to be the learning coach, or teaming up with other homeschool families to group teach. Please check out connectionsacademy.com if you would like the free curriculum and teacher support of an online charter school. I teach with them and would be happy to answer any questions. J.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

You don't say how old your son is, or what your family situation is. Would he have adult supervision while you work, his dad or another family member? Would that person be willing and able to participate in his educational activities? Are there any other like-minded families that might be interested in a team approach?

If so, and if your son turns out to be well motivated, you could look into "unschooling." It's not for every family situation or every child. And if that's not right for you, there are many other models of how to home-school.

But my main concern is about isolation. If your son is a normal kid, he will also crave activities - sports, hobbies, hikes, or just hanging out - with other kids, too. This can put extra demands on your after-work time.

If you still have a year or more to investigate the possibilities, do plenty of homework. There are homeschool magazines and blogs that can give you a pretty good idea of what the experience might be like.

If you decide to go for it, and then find it isn't all you hoped it would be, have a plan B to fall back on. This might be public or private school. Your son's well-being, both academic and personal, are the highest priority, so pay attention to his feedback and assess how he's doing, as objectively as you can, at least a couple of times a year.

Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hello E.! I am just gonna be honest with you, and say I really don't think you can do both. I think you would be running yourself ragged, and that your son would not get the attention/learning environment that we be the most beneficial for him. I am not against homeschooling, i am just thinking you should choose to stay home and homeschool, or put him in school and work. There are public charter schools that you can look into where homeschooled students can go and get some classes to complement what they are doing at home...maybe this would be a good compromise for you? Also, just food for thought....I wrestled with the same thing, and decided to put my firstborn into public school, and she is thriving, and they moved her up into the first grade reading group during the first week of school. I (like you) have always read books and worked with my daughter at home from age 2-5 on learning, and it made all the difference. So just know your limitations and look at all your oprions before you attempt to work and homeschool! God bless! :)

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

If you really want to homeschool your son when he is 5 or 6, now would be a good time to think about transitioning yourself to work from home. For homeschooling to be effective, you need to be home. Not only will you be his primary teacher, you will need to coordinate field trips, sports and social activities to round out his education. Yes, you can work and homeschool but if you are not going to be home during school hours, what are you really gaining by trying to squeeze homeschooling into an already busy family schedule? Lots of homeschool moms work part-time outside the home so perhaps you can find a way to cut back your hours in a few years. Whatever you decide to do, it sounds like you are exploring all your options and have your son's best interests in mind so I hope you find a solution that will work for you.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

it depends how old your child is, whether or not they are capable of independent work.

I found it really hard and i was at home full time lol, but it is possible if you have a teen and you use a dvd program

okay i have read your update lol - and LOL, no you could not do both, being a teacher is a full time job in itself - i have friends who say their homeschool day is done in 2 hours, and to be honest their children are not getting the attention and teaching they deserve in that time. i took 5 hours a day to teach my son and do a sport and a craft with him daily, with a 21 month old at my feet, trying to also run the household and it was hell. i gave up and put my son in private school last week. i also believed the old saying that homeschooled children are way ahead, but its not true in my case lol!, my son can read at high school level (he is 7), but his writing is very untidy, and his school is doing math a full year ahead of grade level, so he is a year behind in that.

the main thing for him though has been behavior - he has found it really hard to conform because socially he is just not on a level with the other children, even though i tried really hard to keep him socialized, it just was not enough. he is not used to sitting in a class for 7 hours, not speaking, and following routines - i believe that this is important stuff for living in the real world, getting a job etc

i hated homeschooling in the end, it was isolating for me, my son, my daughter - and also i found i could not be a loving mother to him, i could not be a teacher and a mother, i was not spending quality time with him - or with my daughter.

sorry to be such a downer!

i think putting him in a sport would be good, he is very young though, there is not much about for 2 year olds, they can only really do play stuff at that age - my daughter is the same age as your son and she is not "in" anything as yet, except for mothers day out.

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H.S.

answers from Anchorage on

Yes it is possible - I know of a mom who taught at the university during the day (full time) and would come home and home school her kids in the evening. It CAN be done - do not let anyone tell you otherwise. If homeschooling is the choice you decide upon, then you need to work it out so maybe you and your husband can work different hours - so the kids would be with at least one of you during the day. I have (and am) homeschooling all 3 of my kids - and would never put them back in a public school. You are right, most homeschoolers score way beyond their public school counterparts - and have much better socialization skills. I recommend All parents read this book and then decide for themselves - you NEED to do the research before just blindly making the choice 'most parents do' just because everyone else is doing it.....

read this (you can buy it cheaply on amazon) forget about finding it at your public library - I have found out at several libraries locally, that the DAY they put the copies out, they were stolen - I am sure by public school teachers who do not want this truth out there, pretty sad...

http://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-...

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S.M.

answers from Spokane on

At age 2 he could do classes like, wiggle worms at your local gymnastics center, or music classes that involve a lot of movement. These might be more appropriate for his age and get some of that energy out. I actually don't even know of any sports that include two year-olds. Our micro-soccer teams start here start at age four, and even then the kids basically just run around the field, (sometimes stopping to pick flowers, or grass) and occasionally kick the ball - it's cute, but they are so little, there is not much sport involved). I really worry about Mom's today. We try to do way to much, and I think life just passes by. Kids love your time, attention, hugs and kisses, being tucked in at night. Little kids do not care about money, gifts, trips, - and also, I've noticed that no matter how hard you do or don't push your kids in any direction, they always end up finding their own way in life. It is best just to hang out with them and enjoy them - if you have to work, I just wonder if the stress of then homeschooling on top of that, will take away from the enjoyment of him. I love the idea of homeschooling and every kid I've met that has been home schooled is absolutely smart, and wonderful. But the same can be said for the public school, lots of smart wonderful kids there too. My philosophy about Public school is let them go, and then add in what you feel they are missing (because I do believe they are not quite challenged enough in public school) so I add music, and travel and other educational things myself.

oh, that turned out longer than I thought it would....good luck with your decision. And enjoy that little guy....two is hard...but oh, they are so cute and kissable at that age!
Stephanie

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L.B.

answers from Seattle on

I think that is a lot to put on yourself - both home schooling and working full-time. Also, a child will succeed at school, whether public, private, or home, with parental support.

An activity outside the home is a good idea. There are plenty of mommy and me programs available. If your son in aggressive, you will need to be with him to help guide him towards appropriate behavior.

While others may disagree with me, I think if you work full-time, you shouldn't also home school.

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K.C.

answers from Portland on

I can only talk to the sports classes for your son. I a am a full time teacher at a public school so the other issue is not one I can speak to. I used to work at the Conestoga Rec Center on 125th and Conestoga. They provide sports classes to kids as young as 18 mos. Some are parent participation (in fact all with super young kids) but as they get older they have sports for kids that are taught in small groups with an instructor. The THPRD website will have more information. Hope that helps!

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