Workbook/Homework Used as a Form of Discipline for Five Year Old?

Try making the activity of a workbook as a joint effort. Mommy and son working together to get smarter. Make it a special time of togetherness. Maybe have him work on legos on the table or floor next to you.

I don't think homework or reading should be used as discipline, BUT I don;t think you were doing that as you describe it. You were using it as a diversion. To tell him that he has to do it because he did something he was not supposed to would be discipline and that I think could cause bad habits and poor study techniques later. It all depends how it is addressed.

I am afraid he will become resentful of educational work. Why not give him some busy work choices. Coloring, activity books, or other boy stuff. I would imagine, he just needs to be directed into something fun to occupy his time.

I'm with you, I went to school while my daughter was young and it is tough.

I would strongly suggest you not use school work as punishment, just like using food or bedtime as punishment. You want him to continue to have pleasure in learning.

Sounds like he would be good at crafts, puzzles, legos, etch a sketch , colors, paper, scissors with old magazines.. Give him a craft corner.. Go to a craft store and pick out some projects that look like he would enjoy and let him go for it.

Our daughter liked all kinds of work books. I would purchase them at Teacher supply stores. I kept a lot of them around so she could do "homework" whenever she wanted.

He also needs lots of active play when he gets home. At least 1 hour to an hour and a half of running, jumping, climbing, peddling. Figure out how to fit this in so he can blow off some of that energy.

Remember at the age of 5 he has about 5 to 10 minutes of attention span at a time..This is very normal. So you are going to need to be extra creative on how to keep him occupied for long periods of time..

Do NOT do this. You are setting him up to dislike homework, therefore something to avoid. He's looking for your attention, so give him something fun to do. Set him up with a project, art, a fun task, etc. Think about the result of this form of discipline long term.

Jen

Absolutely do not use academic work as a form of punishment. However, if before he gets into trouble you say "Billy would you like to do your homework while Mommy does hers so we can work together?" Then you are both sitting together being productive and he is not getting into trouble. This may be viewed by him as being more of a reward (time with mom) and have the opposite effect on his view of schoolwork in the future.

Good luck,
K.

Set up his home environment for him to succeed in it with developmentally appropriate activities for him to choose and practice till mastery each day, rather than falling into a negative cycle of thinking that you need to discipline him instead.

Your child is in a developmental plane for lots of real life work. Like preparing some basic foods and eating them to satisfy his own sense of hunger when his body tells him too. Sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, dusting...all part of being your partner in running a healthy happy home together with you.

He will do these activities at various beginner, intermediate, and advanced skill levels over time of course, depending on his interests and his developmental bodies needs that are satisfied with the various work.

Settling into his levels of developmental practice is your inner patients work. This "home" work will help him grow into a very competent independent person over his life time with you.

Here are some quick resources to read that will help you prepare your home with him, so he can start to self-select well amongst a variety of developmentally appropriate tasks and activities when he is home and you are busy.

1st, for you:
http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW312teach.html

________________

2nd, the 3-6 age developmental stage needs for your child:

Family Care:
http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW36famcare.html

Family Food:
http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW36famfood.html

Toys/Cooperative Games/Movement:
http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW36toys.html

Games/Blocks/Puzzles:
http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW36blocks.html

___________________________________

3rd, the 6-9 age developmental stage needs for your child:

He is also nearing the end of the 3-6 age stage and will be slowly transitioning into the 6-9 age stage. So here is info to help you move into his next developmental stage with some foresight, so you know what to expect and what to prepare for:

First, for you:

http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW612introduction.html

Many more offerings can be viewed off the main page at:
http://www.michaelolaf.net

_______________________________

To get a grasp on the "homework" and "discipline" topic, this man's life work is brilliant and so well researched, Alfie Kohn:

Homework:
http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/edweek/homework.htm

Beyond Discipline-From Compliance to Community:

http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=29Qhmp...

Enjoy the daily learning journey ups and downs together, there seems to be no true end to parenthood stages of development! :)

K.

I'm on the side of the mom's who said I don't see it as discipline but a diversion. and I think its a great idea for him to be by you working on some pages and coloring and doing "homework" whatever he may decide it is that day--you might let him pick some projects that you can put together the basics of over the weekend so he knows what he will be cutting out and working on etc. and he can choose how to best do his homework while you do yours. set a timer for him (I'm sure he won't want to as long as you are doing yours) and when it goes off tell him its break time would he like to watch a show? or play with his toys?) if he asks you to take a break with him tell him you will catch him on the next break time. so if you are doing 15 min quiet time for him coloring then he watches a 30 min show 15 min of coloring then you take a break with him you get in a good 45 min of studying--
just a suggestion, timers just work so great at this age and when they feel they are helping and being productive they are just so happy to do it.
I'm really proud of you for finishing up your schooling as you are raising a kid, not easy. Kudos to you for doing that.

I'm with Jen and Laurie. Academic work should never be equated with punishment. If you can plan ahead, your son can be more productively engaged.

I dearly hope you'll make every effort to give him one-on-one time as often as you possibly can, take little breaks for laughter and pillow fights and boogying to music. "Only another year" is going to be a sixth of your son's whole life. That's a long, long time for a five-year-old.

How about if you use it in a more positive way. Like why don't you sit and do some homework with mommy. While you are reading you can have him do some art projects. Go to the dollar store and get tons or cheap markers, coloring books, crayons, glue, scissors, and make him a busy box. When you need to sit and read and can't really give him the one on one he needs then make that mommy and son time. I don't have a problem with you disciplining him with school work, but I wouldn't want him to make the connection that if he misbehaves that is a way to get you to do work with him. It could become a way of getting your attention. So rather then wait until he disobeys you then make it a special time. If he doesn't like art work then get him legos, puzzles, something he can do at the table while you are with him. He will begin to look at this as a special time verses a punishment. Good luck with school and your new career!!!!

Without reading the other responses...here's my opinion.

There are 3 things that should never be used as a dicipline measure...Homework, housework, and "go to bed." If you make a child do any of these things as a form of dicipline, you are absolutely setting them up for failure. If you want him to hate school work then by all means punish him by making him sit and do it.

That being said, there is absolutely no reason why he can not sit and do "busy work" while you do your homework. You can say that from (this time to this time) is homework time for both of you, and have him sit with you and do his work while you do yours. Please do not wait until he is getting into trouble before you "make" him sit down and work. I promise he will develop a negative attitude toward learning that way. Include him in your studies. If you're reading, read aloud to him and make it sound interesting...like a story. Then see if he can remember any of it after a few paragraphs.

I know how hard it is to be going to school and raising a family. I went through nursing school with 2 young kids in tow. Family homework time did wonders for me!

i have to slightly disagree with the other posters, because of the way you seem to be handlng it - it doesn't seem like you did it in anger, like "you are being naughty so come inside and do homework." am i right? the way you describe it, i don't really see it as discipline, more as a diversion tactic. if you are sitting down with him and working on the homework with him, even better. but i would try to do that every night, regardless. he's giving you a message that he's not getting enough time with you. i'd almost do a time out first, just to make sure the bad behavior isn't being rewarded by time with you, if that makes sense? i.e. when i act out, mommy stops what she's doing and gives me attention. make sure he still understands that this is incorrect behavior. THEN sit down with him and correct the lack of attention problem. don't reward the bad behavior with you sitting down and giving him the one on one time. hope that makes sense.

The fact that you coined what you are doing as discipline is troubling. You don't want to turn off your little guy from school, learning, etc. Make discipline, and diversion into positive activities, two distinct different things.

I have to agree with moms who wrote in disagreement. Try to settle into a routine, get him out there for a good run, some physical activities, then make it, homework time. He will need this skill all throughout his years up till graduating from collage, so start good study habits now. He wont be able to "cram" just yet, but just a little a day is a good start. As the homework matures, so will his attentions span. I really like the idea of a craft area, somewhere close to you so you can keep an eye on him, but let him go with the glue sticks, crayons etc. I have a bookshelf full of craft supplies and reading books. Maybe a weekly trip to the library with dad could give him fresh material and expand interests? My grandson loves bugs of all kinds, so after we've been outside and collected some, he likes to look in our library to identify them...which can take him quite a while unattended just browsing to find "his" bug. Hope this helps! Any time your spending quality time with your child is a gift to him. Just having mom near, even if her nose is in a book can be reassuring, especially if his nose is in a book too!

Well he's just bored... and he's 5... and you are busy with a valid purpose.
I have a 7 year old... when she is "bored" she gets like that too... she is not otherwise a trouble-maker or nuisance maker... but when bored, she just gets into things. Like your son.
So... to a certain degree, I have learned that my daughter benefits from being sort of "scheduled" with her free time. It is not "discipline"... but rather, it really helps her not being bored/it helps her to feel there is something to 'accomplish'/it helps her feel useful/and it keeps her mind occupied... which for my daughter, is important because her she needs that. Versus my son... he is real independent and can literally keep himself constructively occupied forever.

Additional workbooks/studying...is to me, not "bad." I do that with my daughter too.... not as a discipline thing or me being a hard-nose... but, there are certain things I feel she needs to reinforce and practice. I have workbooks too. BUT I don't have her study... when she is behaving "wrong." It is just our routine. I do NOT use it as discipline.... my daughter knows that.

For other things to keep him busy: try building type toys, craft projects... draw pictures for you...
but mostly, what you can try to do is: when you know you have to study and will be occupied for a length of time is.... INSTEAD of letting him entertain himself... make a 'schedule' or a list of things for him to do.... kids NEED to be directed... to be told literally sometimes, what they can do... and when. The list can just be fun things... or simple 'chores.' But nothing that will be him in trouble. It should be time spent that is fun for him... and constructive. Then, show him the list and just make it sound fun and explain to him that when Mommy is studying... he can do those things... but you will help him if he asks and he can show you when he is done (so that you can praise him, which is important), AND... explain to him that you will both take a break together... which will be something for him to look forward to. Or you will both have a "snack break" together.

Next, when YOU are done studying... I feel, it is VERY important to praise him for being soooo patient and tolerant of that, and for being tolerant of YOU, too. It is very hard for a young child to stay idle for that long, without a parent engaging with them. So, to validate HIM and compliment him for the 'hard work' he is doing too... and that you APPRECIATE him trying his best. For trying his best.... because no child, will ever be perfect. Ever.
So recognize, when he IS trying his best....

All the best, just some ideas,
Susan

NO WAY! You NEED him to enjoy doing work from school. If you make it into a punishment, you're setting yourself up for some really difficult evenings of homework in a couple of years! I make homework super fun at my house!

I think redirecting your five year old to a quiet, calm activity that he enjoys when he is getting mischievous is a good idea. I would be careful about framing it as any kind of punishment or negative consequence, since you don't want school and homework to be seen as punishing. Saying something like, "It seems that you need something to do. Come and sit with me and work on your homework," keeps things positive and gets him into a productive activity. It would be great if you could get him involved in his work before he starts finding naughty things to do. Even though you are both doing different things, the fact that you are "studying" together may make this a special time for both of you.

NO, first you need to discipline by maybe a time out in a chair, corner, etc for 1 minute per years of age (like 3 minutes for a 3 year old, and so on) then when he gets out of the corner you can certainly use the workbook as a new activity for him to do. Otherwise as he grows he will catch on to going to the workbook directly as a punishment and then he will lose his enthusiasm for learning. Stick to the basic tried and true discipline, it will work even in today's times. Proven by 'The Nanny' show......and many others.

I say no to the academic work, but a favorite discipline of my dad's was a "writing assignment". He would assign us however many lines of writing a certain sentence or paragraph (like writing on a chalkboard).

I'm not sure it made us behave better ;-) but it WAS punihsment and we ALL have excellent handwriting...even my brothers.

You son is probably a little young...but keep it mind.

Well, you said that as of now he doesn't have a problem doing his homework packets. However, if you consistently use homework as a form of discipline, he will eventually lose the "joy of learning" and see it only as a form of punishment. Personally, I would steer clear of it. If there's anything I want to cultivate in my children, it's a love of learning.

Could you set aside a time when you both could do your "homework" together? That would help with the "together time" and show him that we all have homework to do, no matter what age. If you have a husband around, it could also be "their" time. Men frequently need urging when it comes to helping with the kids and usually find out that it's worth the effort...after they've done it.

I think this is a great question that most of us struggle with everyday. I think the best way to look at it is that we as mother's are not here for our children's entertainement. They should not act out because we are not giving them constant attention. Kids today don't know how to entertain themselves because the parents do it for them. I live with the same unneccessary guilt every day. If I am not entertaining my kids, my son says "I'm bored". When I tell him he needs to find something to do, he has no clue. So, to answer your question . . . "No, I don't think making him to his homework was wrong." I don't think you should view it as you were punishing him, but rather finding something constuctive to do.

I wouldn't consider this a form of "discipline" but rather redirection. Because he has schoolwork and you have schoolwork, could you do your schoolwork together? This could act as a way to spend time together and allow you to get some work done without having to be distracted by him getting in trouble. You wouldn't have to do this every night, but it could help. Just a thought.

I don't think it is a good idea to use school type work as a punishment, especially in Pre-K. if you start using it as a punishment he will not enjoy school or homework and that will make it much harder for you in the future. Instead of having it be a punishment, why don't you have him to his "homework" when you are doing yours? You could both sit together wherever you choose and do your school work together at the same time. It could be a special mommy/son time where you learn together. Then you wouldn't have to worry about him getting into trouble when you are preoccupied with your school work. If he needs too much help with his school work maybe he could be doing some type of craft, reading/looking at a book, playing with playdough, drawing, coloring, puzzles, etc. Find something that will keep him busy for the time you are doing your school work, don't just let him have free time to do whatever he wants and get into trouble. Tell him that for this certain amount of time you need him to be quiet and keep himself busy so you can do your school work. Use a timer or a clock to help him learn how long that amount of time is that you need him to be quiet. If that doesn't work, use a reward system where if he is a good boy and doesn't get into trouble for one day, or two days, or a week or whatever then you could do something special with him like go to the park, library, bowling, to a movie, make a special craft, buy a special toy, etc.

I think I would find another quiet activity for him to do. Maybe give him some choices like the workbook if he chooses, puzzles, looking/reading books, coloring, matching games. You don't want to turn the workbook/school work into a "negative" punishment. Sounds like he just needs some redirection. Maybe tell him you can take a 15 min break to read him some books or other activity at a certain time but until then he needs to choose a quiet activity.

I think associating learning with punishment is a very bad idea. It might work if you can put it in a "redirection of energy" context (i.e, "Let's do something fun together. You read your book and I'll read mine.") but avoid all hints of disciplining him out of it.