Work Management Issue

Updated on September 06, 2014
S.E. asks from Landenberg, PA
14 answers

So, my friend got passed over for a job he really wanted in his company. Problem is all of his co-workers assumed he would get the job. (seriously all of them) There are two possibilities for why he did not get it that make sense: they need him where he is, they have different plans for him related to an upcoming position or the one that does not make sense - he wasn't right for the job.

He is profoundly unhappy now and thinks his co-workers think less of him since he was passed up. (They have said things like slap in the face etc) I think he should go to HR or management and be honest and ask. Ask for feedback about why he did not get the job, ask for some sense of how the company plans to use him in the future etc.

He has been with the firm for a very long time and just came off of a project that went spectacularly. He thinks he should look for another job. If it were you what would you do, and if you did go to management what would you say?

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So What Happened?

Maybe I need to clarify because I am confused by some of the feedback. Of course his boss knew he wanted the position, he applied for it. But, it is such a large company that he was requesting a new position across divisions so his boss had no say in the matter. He informed his boss he was applying for the position but his boss did not interview him and could only have given (or with held although he said he would give him a recommendation) HIs co-workers attitude matters only in that he is concerned that a.) they will lose some respect for him and b.) the failure to be clear IS causing morale problems among the staff. I guess I know the answer already really. I would not wait for an annual review, getting passed over is an opportunity for growth and asking for feedback does not strike me as sour grapes, it is requesting feedback so that you can improve. But, you are helping me see why people don't do it when they should. Are Laurie and I the only ones who would do this?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Is this a large enough company that his immediate supervisor wouldn't know why he was passed up? I would expect someone in management would talk with him about the promotion and on what basis they made the decision. Otherwise he and has coworkers would have this attitude which is not good for the company.

I would ask about this but I wouldn't go to HR. They didnt make the decision. I'd start with my immediate supervisor and ask who I should talk with. Keep the chain of command/responsibility.

I suggest saying that was a slap in the face as being a supportive statement. It means that person thought he should've gotten the promotion to me.

I suggest it's very important to have a positive attitude and approach this from the position he wants to do what's best for the company. He can say he is disappointed and wants to know how he can meet their expectations.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think it's fine to go to HR or the management of the division where he hoped to work and ask them what he can do to improve his chances next time. i think that shows initiative and drive and ambition, and surely most companies want people who want to rise through the ranks.
but it has to be done in a 100% positive way, ie no passive aggressiveness, no suggestion that if demands aren't met he'll leave, and certainly no whininess about slaps in the face or how he now feels 'less'. if he's very clear that he wants to use the turn-down as an opportunity to gain traction and insight and information on how to improve, it can be a very positive thing.
khairete
S.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Of course he should ask. People who want things to happen do what they can to make him happen. Simply applying for a job then sitting around waiting to be noticed is not a good strategy for getting what you want. If there is a particular reason he was passed over, he needs to know exactly what it was so he can determine if it is something he can control and/or overcome.

His inclination to keep quiet and possibly quit is exactly the opposite of the kind of person he needs to be. As a coworker, it wouldn't be not getting the job that would make me wonder about him, but his lack of drive to control his own destiny. Being bummed is totally understandable, but he has to suck it up now. Moping and doing nothing isn't respectable.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My advice would be to always remain the professional and don't let anyone, including co-workers and management see a bad attitude about it. Comments like "what a slap in the face" are not useful.

If your friend thinks he is going no where in the company, then by all means start looking. I don't understand though how your friend's boss did not know he wanted the position. Perhaps if there was better communication your friend would have gotten the job if his boss knew he was interested or at least your friend would have known if he was being considered or not and the reasons why.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If I was perfect for the job and had all the requirements I'd want to know what happened. If the person that "was" hired was someone they know and can't see why they were picked then it's hard.

I have a friend who wanted to move back to his wife's home area. She grew up in Wyoming and they wanted their kids to have that life, the skiing, camping in the wilderness, the lakes, Yellowstone, snow!, snowboarding, snowmobiles, and more. So he applied for job after job after job. Finally they prayed about it and God told them that there was a job for him but the time wasn't now.

They eventually had an experience where he applied with a different company and was offered a HUGE raise to leave the old company. They knew this was the job he'd been waiting for. He's been extremely happy with the new company and at his old company nearly every one of his co-workers have stayed stagnate.

I think he needs to talk to his boss and tell him he's happy working for him to stroke his bosses ego but see if the boss can find out why he wasn't offered the job. He may need to work on something in his interview skills.

It could also be that they wanted this other person before they even posted the job. I know that sometimes an engineer will tell someone that a job opening is coming up under them in a new project and they want this certain person to apply. Then they have a lot of interviews and hire the guy they invited to apply. SO basically the whole interview stuff was just for show, they already had the person selected they were going to hire.

He needs to know if he blew it somehow though.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

First of all, if he is management material, he would not care what his coworkers think. He would of course appreciate their admiration and support, but honestly, he should not be embarrassed.

He would be confident that he did his best and mke an appointment to speak with HR about his interview and what they feel his opportunities for moving up in the company are.

He should let them know he is working to move up in position, or to a certain department, whatever it is he has as a goal and ask them to make any recommendations on what he needs to make him more competitive.

Maybe it is more training, maybe it is a new technology, maybe he needs to be more flexible about his schedule, traveling, or transferring to a different city, state etc..

Just because he did not gt this job this time, does not mean he should give up, instead it is a time to reevaluate his resume, his interviewing and his skills.

We ll do this every year or few years if we want to move up.
My ultimate goal was to eventually be able to own my own business. And now I do. Now my goal is to find more clients and train more employees.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

He should ask, but unless they give him some very concrete feedback (as in, "There's a position upcoming that we feel you'd be perfect for, and it will be open as of October 1"), he should look for a new job. And even if they do give him concrete feedback, he should still put feelers out and start working his network (discreetly). The company can put any spin they like on it, but it's never a good sign to be passed up for a promotion, especially if you've been with the company a long time.

That being said, of course when he does ask, he should say something like, "Were there any qualifications I was missing that would have helped me be a better candidate for that position? Was there any feedback from the hiring manager that I can work on?" Phrase the question as a positive, rather than telling them that he should have been a shoo-in and can't understand why on earth they didn't give him the job. Know what I mean?

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Been there done that. Emotions are running high after having expectations not met but this isn't the time for a bruised ego to deter him from asking the right questions.

He should ask for feedback as to why he didn't get the position. He needs to understand that the decision made may not be person but practical.

As to if he should look for another job, only he knows if he should or shouldn't. My husband is ALWAYS looking for opportunity and it has served him well.

I remember reading a great article on Monster.com about this very matter and the right questions to ask of your current employer. He needs to stop worring about what his co-workers think of him and more about what he needs to do for his own ME, Inc.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I personally would wait until my annual review and then ask what I can do to help myself move up in the company rather then asking specifically about this one promotion.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think AKMom has the right idea.
He didn't get it. He needs to buck up and hold his confidence. To sulk and mope is a sure fire way to get passed up again.
I think to go to HR or management smacks of sour grapes and self interest (no matter his worthiness). The annual review is the perfect time to address this. IF they have something else in mind for him--he'll have handled humans elf professionally and with dignity til then.
IF they have other reasons, he can strive to meet the goals and perhaps be considered for something down the road. Win/win.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

He needs to go to the boss that passed him over. He needs to just ask. Why sit and wonder? Quite often, the boss has his reasons and is happy not to have to have that talk with him since it's stressful. This of course is stupid, but no one wants to have a stressful conversation.

If he thinks there is another job advancement opportunity, he shouldn't sit back and wait to see if he will get it - he needs to start campaigning for it NOW.

Requesting feedback will NEVER hurt. But get it from the boss - not HR.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

If it were me, I would begin looking for another job. But I would stay quiet about it- not tell a soul I was looking. That way I could take my time and evaluate my options. He just may not know what could turn up. What's the saying- if a door closes, another opens.

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

Having worked in HR in corporate America, there is another option that you didn't mention... The hiring manager already knew who he wanted to hire, but (s)he was forced to go through the job posting/interviewing process before making an offer to that individual.

I find it odd that his co-worker think less of him. Typically, in these cases, the co-workers think less of the hiring manager, the hiring process, or management in general. They know your friend and his abilities, so they usually point their disgust in another direction. I'm guessing that he's over-reacting to any negative opinions or misunderstanding them.

As for his own feelings and his career interests, I do think that it's important to ask for feedback, and I don't think he needs to limit that feedback to one source. He should ask his manager what he knows or has heard about the situation. He should ask HR (his own and that of the job he wanted, if they are different) about this specific job, about his fit for similar jobs in the future, and about what other jobs they think he would fit. He should ask the hiring manager about what qualifications he was lacking, so that he can build those skills.

I do not think that he should look for another job unless A) this was the only job that he wanted in the company B) the feedback that he gets from various sources doesn't line up together or C) he was already thinking that he wants to do something different. It is OK to feel disappointed when we don't get a role that we want, but we shouldn't blow it out of proportion (unless there are other indicators that his view and management's are out of sync). Hope this helps, but feel free to PM me if you get more info from your friend...

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,

In short, I would do both. Seek feedback and start to explore possible alternate opportunities. I am sorry to hear that he's suffering this difficulty but if he see's it as a reason to reach out it might be a blessing in disguise.

best of luck to you and yours, S.

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