Work Issues

You do have a right to address the FB issue since it is affecting the work. There are articles all the time about people losing their jobs or not getting jobs due to FB posting. I would not havew forced the girl to sign the card but I would let her know that the problem needs to be resolved immediately. You are seeing an effect on work which is not good. You cannot make everyone friends but they do have to be respectful to each other whether they like it or not.

I am just coming out of a situation where I was bullied by a coworker that I used to be friendly with. After many a disciplinary hearing, suspensions, other employees quitting over this, clients leaving and thousands of $ spent on mediators, the person is finally gone... not before getting my boss into lots of trouble for her hesitation in addressing the situation in the first place (this has dragged on for years).

You are an employer! You have a responsibility to provide a safe and productive work environment for ALL of your employees.
If you do not want the negativity to spread like wildfire throughout your entire business, you have to take action immediately. You WILL loose other employees, that you think aren't affected by this, because your good teachers will not want to work in an environment like this and you are opening yourself up for lawsuits because of a hostile work environment if you do not act.
Do not think that this won't affect the children or that your clients won't find out. This kind of behavior is unprofessional and may reflect badly on your business.
I think you need to put an end to it immediately. If you feel like these women are professional enough to put this behind them to save their jobs, set clear, written rules and give an ultimatum.
If not you will have to let one or more people go.
Good luck!

Listen, I worked for a place that had the worst person in the world working there. Downer. Negative. Tattled. Gossiped. He was a man and he was worse than any female I ever encountered.
People like this are poison. The employer wouldn't do anything about it so everyone else basically jumped ship and guess who he was stuck with?
The crab. Clients didn't like him, Regional managers said he was a law suit waiting to happen. Once everyone was gone, the employer realized what he'd allowed to take place and got rid of him. After alienating the rest of his staff.
You can't really control what anyone says on FB, but you can say that as a term of employment, no employees are allowed to disparage each other.
As for the card, all anyone has to do is sign their name. They have the right to refuse, but that's pretty catty. I've at least signed my name on cards for people I didn't necessarily get along with and kept my feelings to myself.
You can't let this pettiness divide what you have worked so hard to build.
I can understand immaturity to an extent from the younger girls, but why are moms getting involved?
Maybe they watch too many soap operas.
The guy I mentioned would die if he missed "All My Children" and he had that mindset.

If you have people that cannot or will not be part of a successful team that supports each other in the course of their duties, then, you might need to make some tough choices.
You don't want to end up with the catty ones because the others grow tired of it.
That's the worst scenario.
And, the whole thing in your business is taking care of children.
You don't need immature in-fighting.
In my line of work, even spilling about co-workers or clients online is against privacy laws and you might want to tell your employees that you won't stand for it.
If they have their own issues, fine. But, it shouldn't boil over at work and it shouldn't be broadcast on social networks like FB.

Women can be hard on each other, but tiffs need to stay out of the workplace. Period. And blabbing on FB is another no no.
Not when it's work related.

The people who can't get along or appreciate those boundaries should be written up and told that they can go if they don't want to be part of the healthy running of things.
Sounds like you've tried conflict resolution.....
I would sit them all down and have a meeting about it and make everyone in attendance sign it.
That way, no one can say they didn't understand what you meant, etc.

Time to get tough.
Take it from an office manager and just be very detailed in protocol, etc.

Somebody doesn't want to sign a card or be involved with cake....
They don't get one when it's there turn.
It's everybody for everybody or nobody for anyone.
Put it to a staff vote.

Definitely get a grip on it though.
It sounds like things are getting out of hand.

Best wishes.

D., I think I have commented on your daycare questions before and would happily have put my son in your care if I lived in your area. That said....I've had employees have arguments with eachother and brought it to the workplace and their co-workers. I had a group meeting and spelled it out. You leave any and all personal issues at the door when you come to work. If there is an in house issue we will deal with it. If this behavior continues you will be written up. The first write up is a verbal warning, the second it a final warning and the third is termination. Are we clear? It always worked. You are lucky you have little turn over but most day cares have a lot consider yourself lucky and if need be you need to lose the instigators before they poison everyone and everything. IMO

You run a business. What happens outside your workplace is none of your business, but, if it affects the way your business is run, it IS your business. Cat fights in the daycare will turn people away. You need to tell the girl and her mother to get over it or find other employment. It sounds like passive aggressive bullying, and I would not tolerate it. Have a meeting with them and tell them if they cannot work together and be nice and able to speak with one another, the door it that-a-way. You are not asking them to be friends again. They need to be co-workers. Co-workers are expected to be courteous to each other, treat one another with respect, and communicate with each other. I know it is hard. And it is especially hard when you have grown close personally with them. But remember, you are a business owner, and sometimes you must do hard things. Occasionally you need to clean house when people don't shape up.
I would do it quickly, before parents start noticing the professional rift. You can lose alot of business from a toxic work environment.

If it were me I would absolutely fire the girl and her mother. End of story. You are the boss and it is your right to do this. They are disrupting your workplace and have not responded to warnings. Additionally and MOST importantly-beyond staff morale even-is the fact that you are permitting these immature women to work with CHILDREN!! I do not believe that they have shown you the character that it should take to raise other people's kids. If mine were in your center and I caught wind of the shenanigans going on I would probably consider yanking them and putting them in a more professional childcare setting. I would also consider it unsafe to have these women around kids b/c obviously they have tempers and their minds are not 100% on the task at hand if they are constantly fighting.

You have worked too hard for this-DO NOT let it fall apart b/c of these women. Your solution is an easy one. Do it now and you will all be much happier and can go back to how it used to be. It doesn't sound like anybody will miss the offenders anyhow.

This is an awful situation. Because the personal lives of all three are spilling into their professional lives, you do have to deal with it. If it gets worse, you risk another party coming to you and saying it is "a hostile work environment", which you certainly don't want.

Personal feelings aside, you should sit down with each person individually. All three of them. Do not leave out the girl who is "taking the high road."
AND, speak to them at WORK! Not outside work, as that just contributes to the unprofessional aspect of the whole sordid tale. Tell them what the expectations are, and what the consequences of non-compliance is.

Remember, it is HIGHLY likely that some of your clients are also on FB, and probably even friends with your staff members. This situation reflects badly on you, your business, and your entire staff. And, that last comment comes from personal experience at the day care my son attends. Two teachers were unhappy with the administrator, and they took it to FB. I was appalled that they would bad mouth their workplace and their supervisor when they were FB "friends" with several of the parents, including me. It looked to me as though the administrator was not able to handle her employees as well as making the employees look like a pair of horses' behinds.

Good luck. I hope this settles down quickly for you.

You are trying to be M., friend and employer. All of that cannot work together and smoothly especially when women are at odds. You have done what you could to patch things up, but anything you do now, should be on the basis of your childcare center and the business itself, not on patching personal relationships. You employ them, you pay them, they should work together..and just like any other jobs, they don't have to be friends. There are only 20 people, so it is close, but as the employer, I would keep out of the riff raff and let them as adults work out their own issues. Listen if they want to talk to you, but keep your business at the forefront in your response. Whatever they do outside work and on facebook is their business, as long as it does not deface your daycare and cause a bad reputation. You can be friends with them outside work once they do not work for you again. That's always an option. You do not want to make your place of business a gossip center, because then it will reflect in the level of care provided, and God forbid one of them take out their anger and frustration on one of the kids. Do the right thing, have a team meeting, set down the rules and let them make the decision.

You've tried to be diplomatic. You have a business to run. As nice as it would be to keep trying to be "nice" you need to consider letting some people go. No point in letting a couple soured grains make the whole pot sour.

Wow, what a situation. It is really making me stop and think, I worked in day care right out of college, I loved it except for one staff member, she was totally bossy and the director would tell us to do one thing and she would do something totally different, but then get praised for it. drove me nuts. and i had a really hard time putting on my work smile when iwas near her. The director tried to mediate and basically told me my concerns weren't valid, and that i needed to be a warmer person. I was able to move to a different classroom and that helped alot. adn i did stay there for 8 years but it was difficult and now i see why after i questioned her pet that the director labeled me as a trouble maker. i'm wondering what would have happened if she had just fired me.

I think you need to focus less on your personal relationships iwth these ladies and think like a business owner. Is there any chance that either of the parties could be separated, or would actually be thinking about moving on anyways. I do think the FB stuff should be held against them because others are coming to you. one thing you could suggest is to have the nice girl unfriend or block the mean girl, Tough, but you might need to tell the one to find another job an d if that means her mom leaves too then that's what it means your business is too important.

so sorry

D.,

Yes, you must address this again, and this time make it a “written warning”. Friends or not, you can’t allow a few employees to affect your business and other employees in a negative manner. Face book is a public forum and can be hurtful and dangerous. We recently terminated an employee who posted something on Face book about “former” employee that involved work related issues considered company private.

In your case I suggest the following:

You and your husband sit down with the guilty party, have a copy of what she has posted and let her know while she may be free to post ugly things on Face book, neither she nor her mother are free to behave in an unprofessional manner. Employees don’t have to love each other, sign a birthday card or eat cake together. However when interaction is required in the workplace and they are unable to do this, it’s probably time for someone to GO.

The same goes for the girl’s mother.

Keep in mind when you lay it out there and make the consequences CLEAR, you are not the bad guy. You are giving your employees an opportunity to build character or move on. Their choice at the moment. Your choice if they don't comply.

Blessings.....